Questionable Content

Questionable Content is a "comedic" slice-of-life webcomic written and drawn by Jeph Jacques.

1-100

11-20

Strip 12, "In The Interest Of Faye's Safety"

Faye: I am bored and ravenous. Come have dinner with me.

Strip 20, "Not As Good As Pie"

Pintsize: I would be DELICIOUS.

30-50

Strip 36, "A Lesser Man Indeed"

Marten: A lesser man, a man weaker than I, might interject with a lewd or suggestive comment at this juncture.

Faye: I am glad that such a foolish man is not around, for i would surely defenestrate him with great rapidity.

Strip 45, "Pity: He Asked For It"

Marten: The only way to deal with computer salespeople is with an overwhelming preemptive strike.

51-100

Strip 58, "Not Again"

Pintsize: It was SO worth the massive motherboard damage.

Strip 68, "A Night At The Improv"

Optometrist: Sir, if this is really your prescription, how on earth did you find your way here without your glasses on?

Marten: Magical vision fairies guided me. Now just hand over the damn glasses!

Strip 70, "There Can Only Be One"

Pintsize: My first commandment is: "Thou shalt not beget electromagnetism in the prescence of your Lord".

Strip 73, "Clear The Room"

Faye: Oh man, I should not have ordered a burrito. I am going to have killer death gas tonight.

Marten: Heh, you girls have it easy

Faye: Oh? And why is that?

Marten: When a girl farts it is funny and endearing. When a dude farts, it's just gross.

Faye: That is because girls' farts smell like roses and fresh-baked cookies.

Marten: Not judging by how my bathroom smells after you've been in there for fifteen minutes.

Faye: Maybe we should not be having this conversation in a crowded diner.

Marten: Quick, placate the other patrons with your rosy cookie gasses!

Strip 79, "I Want Those Posters Dammit"

Marten: Congratulations, that is the single most frustratingly open-to-interpretation statement I have ever heard someone utter.

Faye: I have attained girlvana!

101-200

121-130

Strip 126, "Indie Physics 101"

Marten: Note to self: having a discussion about theoretical indie-rock physics with an attractive girl is probably the hottest thing ever.

201-300

221-230

Strip 227, "Scheming"

Marten: I really wish I was an emo kid right now. All this drama would make for an awesome LiveJournal.

401-500

421-430

Strip 423, "Mneep Mneep"

Faye: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, unless you build an orbital velocity cannon and fire it into space.

---

Strip 424, "Her Favorite Sound"

Faye: I shop like Puritans have sex - in and out in three minutes, and only for the procreation of children.

431-440

Strip 434, "Ice Ice Baby"

Miss Reed: I just have lots and lots of casual sex! It's all the fun of dating without any of the fuss.

441-450

Strip 443, "Love Indiemerican Style"

Marten: Funny, I thought you advocated the murder of your patrons.

Dora: Well yeah, but not before they pay.

451-460

Strip 453, "She's Seriously Kinda Crazy"

Raven: You know, I never really got that phrase. All life isn't suffering. Sometimes there are parties and makeouts! And marijuana!

471-480

Strip 478, "I Get Knocked Down"

Faye: The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage.

501-740

511-520

Strip 511, "Hell Hath No Fury"

Dora: THE WORLD HAS PLENTY OF CUTE, SKINNY HOMOSEXUAL MEN AS IT IS! WE DON'T NEED HIM TO JOIN THEM!

700-740

Strip 723, "I Hate Snakes"

Hannelore: Oh Doctor Jones...Let me be the warm, yielding Kentucky to your rigid, manly Indiana....mmmmf...zzzz

Dora: Okay, that diffused the situation better than anything I possibly could have said. Maybe there is a God.

Faye: There is no God. There is only Harrison Ford and his chiseled jawline.

Hannelore: Zzz...Oh Indy, you can raid my ark anytime...zzz.

746, "Yet Again"

Marten: Metal foot! Metal foot … To… mantenna array! Pain level.. Shatnerian .. in intensity!

Strip 728, "Bad News"

Tai: Man, you're so lucky to be outta college. I bet YOU don't have to deal with stupid girl-drama all the time.

Marten: *twitch*

Marten: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Tai: Oh come on, it's bad enough knowing my liberal arts is gonna be useless. Don't crush ALL my hopes.

Strip 729, "Biology Department"

Faye: Get used to it. Working at Coffee of Doom means subjecting yourself to a neverending parade of inventive nicknamery

Dora: Not to mention tomfoolery and smartassery

Penelope: Ewww, when was the last time you did any dishwashery? This carafe is disgusting!

Faye: It's an ongoing experiment.

Penelope: What, to see if mold can become a sentient being?

Dora: I'm pretty sure i heard it hitting on Raven yesterday, so it's about halfway there.

Strip 730, "Creeped Out Again"

Hannelore: Don't you try and out-creepy me, little man. My first words when I was a toddler were "thousand-yard stare".

Pintsize: I clipped your toenails while you slept. So I could make them part of my COLLECTION.

Hannelore: EeeennnnnnggghhhOKAY, you win this round. But I'll get you next time Gadget. Next time!

Strip 732, "Bad Color Scheme"

Faye: Oh Man, B for Bitchdetta

Marten: We gotta put a stop to this girl. I do NOT want to be responsible for givin' Steve spongebaths and takin' him to rehab.

Strip 734, "Banter Practice"'

Faye: Want me to make a lunch run?

Dora: Burrito! Possibly even a burro. I'm starvin'.

Faye: I shall name him Paco. He will graze on our shrubbery and haul heavy goods from out back for us.

Dora: I wonder if schizophrenics hear voices in Heaven.

Faye: Yeah, only it's local instead of long-distance. Much cheaper rates.

Dora: Ironically, Hell gets WAY better cell-phone reception AND has free WiFi.

Faye: Clearly that's by design. Cell phones and the Internet are both the work of the Devil.

Dora: The Devil doesn't even torture the souls of the damned anymore, he just sits around watching funny YouTube videos all day.

Penelope: I...I think this is my cue to say something witty about YouTube, but i'm drawing a blank.

Faye: It's okay, hon. Everyone chokes on their first try.

Dora: Oh come on, Faye. That is the most obvious oral-sex-joke lead-in ever. Why not put the ball on the tee FOR her?

External links

• Questionable Content