Ratchet & Clank series

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Ratchet & Clank is a video game series for the PlayStation 2, 3 and Portable. The games are 3D platformers developed by Insomniac Games and High Impact Games and published by Sony.

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Ratchet & Clank

  • Plumber: Dadblast it!


Ratchet (to Clank): Look, plumber's crack!
Plumber: What did you just say?
Ratchet: I said "Look, the plumber's back!"
Plumber: Alright wise guy, aren't you supposed to be on one of those escape transports?
Ratchet: Escape transports?
Plumber: News flash! Giant robots attcking! The escape transports are the rich folk off this gal' darn planet.
Ratchet: So why aren't you on one?
Plumber: Soceioeconomic disparity.
Ratchet: Huh?
Clank: (to Ratchet) He hasn't got enough bolts.

  • Captain Qwark (battling Ratchet):
Y'no, Ratchet. I'm doing this for your own good.
Here's a little something from me...to you.
Oh yeah!
Bullseye!
Wooooohoooo!
Yeah ha ha!
Am I good or what?
Did you feel that, punk?
Oh yeah! I'm the man!
No pain, no gain!
Take that!
Nice shot, kid. I owe you one.
Pretty good! For a beginner!
Owww! Now why would you do anything like that?
Ahh, that's a scratch. It joined me in my first space battle when I was a small product.
Why you son of a *****!
Ratchet meet missiles. Missiles meet Ratchet!
Let's have a little face time!
Time to get up close in person.
Okay, you had your fun. Now it's my turn!
Owwww! Enough practicing! Let's have some fun!
Why those buffons? They couldn't shoot the broad side of my fitness trainer!
Well it looks like if you want a job done right, you got to do it yourself.
Thank you, thank you! Tonight, we'll be rebroadcast at 7 on channel 4,073.
All the day's work.
Wow...that was easy.
And that my friend is the end of that.
Look, mister! You're in big trouble! BIG TROUBLE!
You think you got me, huh? Catch me if you can!
Hey, Ratchet buddy old pal! He he why don't we just it a day? D-d-do you there?
Oh...I always liked you kiddo. I was just so unhearted.
Uhhhh. Mayday! MAYDAY! Well, Ratchet. I'd say you passed the test!
Hah, hah. Oh boy.
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! [Thrown out of the fighter]
  • Plumber [Gives Ratchet infobot and jumps down sewer pipe]: Geronimo!
    Ratchet (to Clank): Did he just slide down a sewer pipe?
  • Ratchet: If I can get that I can get past those robot guards.
    Clank: Robots are not so easily fooled.
    Ratchet: Ahh! What's that?
    Clank: What? [Looking over to where Ratchet's pointing to see nothing]
    Ratchet: Uh huh...
  • Captain Qwark[During dogfight with Ratchet]: You couldn't hit the broad side of my fitness trainer.
  • Clank [After defeating Captain Qwark's Snagglebeast]: I wonder what that infobot is for?
    Ratchet: Maybe it can replace you.
  • Drek [to Qwark]: You really are an idiot.
Qwark: What?
Drek: You're to take that shuttle to the moon base and ambust the two miscrients when they arrive.
Qwark: Oh yeah. Who were they again?
Drek: AARRRGGGHH! THOOOOSE TWWWOOO! (pointing to Ratchet and Clank.)
  • Drek: Did you get rid of them?
Qwark: Yes.......no. Well, I had this plan and I thought....
Drek: You thought? You thought?! I do the thinking around here you slugbrain idiot! I simply ordered you to deal with those two nusiances before they could cause any trouble! Do you still want to be my highly-paid spokesman of my new planet?
Qwark: Yes.
Drek: Then the next time I tell you to do a job, I want RESULTS! Now get out of my sight!
  • [In Gadgetron showroom] Gadgetron has showrooms located on every inhabited planet in the galaxy. Even one on the uninhabited swamp planet of Bogia 4. We don't know exactly how that one got there. Engineering blames marketing, marketing blames legal, and legal has been at a 'conference' on planet Bahamia for six months and they don't return our calls.
  • Clank: [After Helga doesn't give him the prize for completing the course]: But that prize is ours from the captain. That's not fair.
    Helga: Too bad, life's not fair.

Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando

  • Interviewer: Welcome back to "Behind the Hero", tonight's heroes are the duo who recently restored peace and order to our galaxy: Ratchet & Clank. So gentlemen, tell us about your latest incredible adventures.
    Ratchet: Well as you can image, we've been pretty busy: After Drek's defeat there were parades, press conferences, fancy dress balls...
    Clank: ...and the wiener roast at Al's.
    Ratchet: Oh yeah that. And then, things started to slow down a bit. After that we... well...
    Clank: There was the grand opening at "Groovy Lube".
    Ratchet: Right. I think that was, last week.
    Clank: Six months ago.
    Ratchet: We're still pretty busy, but in a more, uh, domestic sense.
    Clank: Yesterday, I flushed out my radiator core.
    Ratchet: I guess... no one needs a hero right now.
  • Thug Leader: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
    Ratchet: What's so funny?
    Thug Leader: Er... Nothing, I guess... PREPARE TO DIE!
  • Thug Leader: [While battling Ratchet in Megapolis] This is going to hurt you a LOT more than it's going to hurt me.
  • Thug Leader: [During mech battle on Snivelak] It's like Hide-and-go-seek; you hide, my missiles SEEK!
  • Thief: [Dramatically] You have no idea what you're involved in. Return to your own galaxy, or THIS will happen to you! [hits button, nothing happens] [Less Confidently] Or this will happen to you. [hits other button, short-circuits Clank] Farewell.
  • Ratchet: Clank don't... uh... move, I'm coming down! [Thief comes from behind and pushes him off the ledge]
    Ratchet: Son of a Qwark!
  • [Angela ducks down to not be seen by Thug Leader but sneezes]
    Thug Leader: Who's there?
    Angela: Meow,
    Thug Leader: Awww... Hey, wait a second...
  • [Thief calls Thugs-4-Less]
    Thug Leader: Thugs-4-Less, if it ain't broke, we'll break it.
    Thief: Riiight.....
  • [Thug Leader talks on phone]
    Thug Leader: Thugs-4-less, pay for six hits and the seventh is free... You want us to what?... Whoa, whoa, that would uh, an unethical conflict of interest.... Hey, what kind of scum do you think we are?... Ooh, that is a lot of bolts!
  • Thug Leader: This message is for all Thugs-4-Less personnel. We've had a little change in plan. We have been hired to protect the C.E.O of Megacorp, Abercrombie Fizzwidget, (holds up vid-screen with picture of Mr. Fizzwidget) who they think is getting a little cuckoo in his old age. Now, Mr. Fizzwidget's a little old-fashioned, so I want you all to handle this with the... Ahem... (spits) pride and courtesy that people have come to expect from us. Also, keep an eye out for these two characters. (picture changes to Ratchet and Clank) I've got a personal interest in seeing these two rubbed out. I'm giving a free pizza party to the squad that bags 'em. And remember, that includes drinks and desserts!
  • Ratchet: [to little robots, with appropriate mime] Have you seen any masked weirdoes?
  • Gadgetron Matron: [breaks wind] Whoops! I think I just blew another vacuum tube!
    Ratchet: Should I take a look?
    Gadgetron Matron: My word! You young people are so fresh these days!
  • Thug Leader: Megacorp is up to no good. I will confront them at once and demand... a bigger cut of the action.
  • Clank: [waking up from his electricity-induced coma] The final digit of pi is...
  • Thief: (Points a gun at Ratchet) I see it's time to update my security forces.
    Ratchet: Woa-hoho, no, hey, no, no, look, I'm just here to fix the... trans... flux-er-coil.
    Thief: Nice try. Give my regards to Megacorp.
  • Announcer: Ask yourself, are you man enough, hero enough, insane enough to step into the ring with two of the fiercest warriors in the galaxy? If you answered 'yes', you're a big fat liar!
  • Voice-over: Dr. James T. Fullbladder reporting on Megacorp Experiment #13. This update is strictly classified, if you are watching this, you're fired.
  • Galactic Greetings Voice: Hello
    Angela: Ratchet and Clank.
    Galactic Greetings Voice: You lucky devils!
    Angela: Angela Cross
    Galactic Greetings Voice: Has just sent you: a galactic greeting!
    Angela: Guys! If you get this message, please meet me on my home world. Just so you know, I've found my old ID badge. I'm pretty sure we can still use it to infiltrate Megacorp HQ, but you're gonna have to hurry before the Protopets completely overrun us! Oh, and sorry for the balloon-a-gram, it was the only thing I could get off this plan...
    [is cut off]
    Galactic Greetings Voice: We hope you enjoyed your galactic greeting!
  • [Angela just shows Ratchet a vid-screen about the Megacorp factory]
    Angela: And this will get you in [hands Clank a card]
    Clank: A 20% discount at Groovy Lube?
    Angela: Ooooops! Wrong one.
  • Clank: It says "In case of emergency, break glass with wrench".
    Ratchet prepares to break the glass with his wrench
    Clank: Hold on! This one says "Use rock to break glass to get wrench to break glass to get rock". Ooh! I love logic puzzles! Let's see... If you break the glass with the...
    Ratchet: (Having already broken the glass) Solved it.
  • [Protopet Commercial]
    Announcer: Why is Billy sad?
    [Billy cries]
    Announcer: Is he cold? Hungry? Or Maybe just...
    [The Protopet comes closer to Billy]
    Billy: No, no, no-no, take it away!
    Announcer: ...LONELY!
    Billy: NOOOOOO!
    AnnouncerIntoducing the Megacorp Protopet. Wanna play ball?
    [Billy throws the ball at the Protopet, only to have it thrown back at him with twice the force]
    Announcer: So does the Protopet. Need a partner for tag?
    [Protopet starts to chase Billy who is screaming in fear]
    Announcer: Go find the Protopet. Up for some Cops n' Robbers?
    [Protopet pins down Billy]
    Billy: HELP, POLICE!!
    Announcer: So is you-know-who, just ask Billy.
    [Protopet spins Billy around and throws him at a tree]
    Billy: No!
    Announcer: Go to Planet Boldan to get your -FREE- Protopet from Abercrombie Fizzwidget himself.
    [Commercial ends]
    Ratchet: You mean that thing is going to be a pet?!
    Clank: Megacorp is going to market a killer! (looks sad) That is simply... (suddenly looks angry)unconscionable.
  • Ratchet: Did you see that?
    Clank: Yes. Angela figured out the answer to stopping the Protopet.
    Ratchet: And?
    Clank: She does a terrible cat impression?
    Ratchet: And we have to rescue her from the thugs!
    Clank: Yes, we must get that answer!
    Ratchet: AND WE HAVE TO PROTECT HER!
    Clank: Okay...
  • [Protopet Commercial]
    Robot Child: Mommy, where do Protopets come from?
    Robot Mother: Why dear, they come from Megacorp.
    Announcer: That's right, Mrs. Robot!

Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal

  • Ratchet: A VG9000?
    Sasha: Of course. With a Mavix fireball pro controller, VR headset and a Zero-G dancepad attatchment.
    Ratchet: Will you marry me?
  • Ratchet: [about to compete on Annihilation Nation] Another day, another death-course...
  • Annihilation Nation Announcer: Note to self: never mess with a trigger-happy Lombax.
  • Klunk [after Ratchet defeats Courtney Gears]: One disposable pop star, disposed. (laughs)
  • Leviathan Computer:[After Nefarious presses button]: Auto-destruct sequence initiated. Prepare to die.
  • Biobliterator Computer:[After defeating Nefarious]: Warning, Reactor detonation in 60 seconds.
    Nefarious: Lawrence, engage the teleporter.
    Lawrence: Would you care to specify a destination sir?
    Nefarious: Who cares? Just get us out of here!
    Biobliterator Computer: Time's up!
    Nefarious: What?! That wasn't even close to 60 seconds!
    Biobliterator Computer: Buh-bye!
    (Biobliterator explodes)
  • Dr. Nefarious: What do you mean we can't teleport to a planet?
  • Lawrence: I'm afraid we're well out of range, sir. Perhaps if you had bothered to specify a destination...
  • Dr. Nefarious: When will we be in range?
  • Lawrence: Oh, I'm sure something will come along, in say, five or ten thousand years.
  • Dr. Nefarious: Ahhh!!! I don't believe this! Now what?
  • Lawrence: I don't suppose you can play drums?
  • Dr. Nefarious: LAWWWWWWREEEENNCCCCEEEE!!!!!!
  • Courtney Gears[music video]:
    I see a future and what do I see?
    Robots going crazy 'cross the galaxy.
    Can't stand organics, they're soft and squishy.
    The time is now, we robots must be free!
    You want to be free?

Yeah!
This goes out to all you robots 'cross the galaxy.
It's time for you and me to rise up and strike back.
Don't stop until we dominate
Won't you feel great?
When we exterminate
All organic life!

  • [Skrunch grunts]
    Qwark: I thought we agreed to put that jungle business behind us.
    [Skrunch grunts]
    Qwark: It was mating season, how could I have known she was your sister?!
    [Sees Ratchet and Klunk]
    Captain Qwark: Errr... how long have you two been standing there?
    Klunk: Too long.
  • Dr. Nefarious: Did you hear that, Lawrence?
    Lawrence: You put the wit in twit, sir.
  • Ratchet: Skidd? What are you doing here?
    Skidd McMarxx: My codename is Shadow Dude bro. Black Ops are my speciality. I figured you guys could use my help.
    Ratchet: Err... thanks...Shadow Dude...but I think we've got this one covered.
    Skidd McMarxx: All right... I'll just take my Hacker and go back to ship.
    Ratchet: Hacker! Oh well, you know on second thought, we'd like you to join the mission, um, Shadow Dude.
    Skidd McMarxx: Awesome... this is gonna be sick!
  • Helga:[after Ratchet comples gadget course] Oh, the little man is cocky now. Perhaps you'd like to meet Helga on the wrestling mat. Let's see how cocky you are, twisted up like a wet noodle.
    Ratchet: Maybe next time.
    Helga: Hah! Pansies.
  • Ratchet: [to Klunk] Hey, there's Dr. Nefarious. And that butler guy. And they've got Clank. Hey, how about that, they're holding you prisoner...
    [pause]
    I guess I should be feeling pret-ty stupid right now. I don't suppose there's any chance he's the evil Clank?
    [Klunk giggles]
    Ratchet: Didn't think so.
  • Ratchet: Uhh... hi, there, Skidd. Can we talk to Sasha?
    Skidd McMarxx: Sasha and Qwark are meeting up with the president, man, they left me in charge of the ship!
    Ratchet: WHAT! I mean, I see. Well, uh, is Al there?
    Skidd McMarxx: He's out for lunch.
    Ratchet: Helga?
    Skidd McMarxx: In the sauna!
    Clank: Qwark's monkey, perhaps?
  • Klunk: [while the president holds a speech about Capt. Qwark] What a load of bull-[Ratchet hits him]
  • Ratchet: Hey, it's Al! Got the shields up yet?
    Big Al: Silence! I am concentrating!
    Ratchet: What the... that's a Qwark vid-comic!
    Big Al: Excuse me... it is a historically accurate interactive graphic novel.
    Ratchet: How can you use the city's defense network to play a video game?
    Big Al: Simple. I bypass the security server with a 626 hack matrix adaptor and reprocess the graphic subprocessor.
    Ratchet: No, I mean...
    [sighs]
    Ratchet: Clank... you speak nerd.
    Clank: It's seems you have a feedback loop in the induction coils of your DB3 signal processor.
    Big Al: Impossible! I ran recursive checks on the signal matrix! [starts typing] Hey, there is a feedback loop! [starts typing vigorously]
    Computer: Shield power restored.
    [Al wipes sweat of forehead and mouths a 'phew']
  • Ratchet: We can't go without Qwark! He would have waited for us... I think.
    Klunk: Good for him.
  • Comic Narrator: These are the real life adventure of Captain Qwark, the greatest superhero the galaxy has ever known.
    Captain Qwark: Hey... is this thing on?
    Comic Narrator: Ahem... Meticulously reconscructed with the aid of eyewitness accounts, bathroom gossip, wild speculations... and a magic eight-ball
  • Clank: It seems this music video has been edited.
    Ratchet: Oh! Let's watch it! I... uh... mean it...uh might contain a clue... or something.
  • [Clank hacks a file in Nefarious's base while Ratchet looks around the room; Ratchet pulls out a file]
    Ratchet:Wow, the complete Secret Agent Clank holovid collection. This guy's your biggest fan.
    [Clank turns the chair around to see an entire bookcase full of them]
    Clank: That is rather...disturbing...
  • [Ratchet, Clank and the Q-Force finish watching Qwark's new plan]
    Ratchet: So... what will everyone else be doing while I'm down there getting blasted?
    Qwark:We will be, uh, monitering the situation. Closely! ...from up here.
    [Leans in to whisper to Helga]
    Qwark:(whispers) Actually we'll be down at the lunch buffet on Deck 5. It's Meatloaf Day!
    [faces Ratchet again]
    Qwark: But we'll be rooting for you every step of the way!
  • Daxx Tannoy: All organic lifeforms please report to Section 8 for immediate execution. Thank you for your co-operation.
  • [Ratchet finally defeats the Mother Tyhrrannoid, as it falls to the ground, Qwark stomps on one of it's eyes, with Darla Gratch conveniently beside him]
    Darla Gratch: Captain Qwark, first you make a miraculous comeback, and now you've defeated the Tyhrrannoids in a spectacular battle on their own planet! How do you manage all this?
    Qwark: Cunning, dashing good looks, IRON HARD ABS!
    [Darla rolls her eyes]
    Qwark: But really, to be a true hero of heroes, you need more than just amazing charisma and a brilliant tactical mind. I couldn't have done it without...
    [Ratchet looks hopeful]
    Qwark: THESE MASSIVE GUNS! [kisses his biceps in turn, Ratchet facepalms]
  • Starport Tannoy: Welcome to the Zeldrin Starport. Due to increased security, thermonuclear warheads and nail clippers are no longer permitted as carry-on baggage.
  • Starport Tannoy: Loitering in the starport is strictly forbidden. Offenders will be disintegrated and fined.
  • Starport Tannoy: All organic lifeforms must be kept on a leash at all times.
  • Ratchet: (While failing the Tyhrraguise challenge.) I emit a noxious effluvium in your general direction.
  • Ratchet: (While failing the Tyhrraguise challenge.) May rabid space goats devour your liver!
  • Ratchet: (While failing the Tyhrraguise challenge.) I love the sweet smell of lilacs in spring.
  • Ratchet: (While failing the Tyhrraguise challenge.) Orange croutons zoom zoom butterscotch.
  • Dr. Nefarious: To think, they called me insane, Lawrence. Well, I'll show them who's insane...when I DESTROY THIS ENTIRE PLANET!!!
    Lawrence: That should clear things right up, sir.
  • Dr. Nefarious: The famed Captain Qwark couldn't possibly be this stupid...could he?
    Lawrence: Even drooling imbeciles can achieve success in certain fields, sir. Mad science, for example.

Ratchet: Deadlocked

  • Dallas: Since I don't have much time left, I'd just like to apologize to a few people. Timmy Aberdeen, I was the one who lit your backpack on fire, and I'm sorry that you couldn't get it off in time.
    Susie Binkleton, I was the one who put the Tyrrhanoid in your locker. Hey, but I hear the therapy is going well, though. Chin-up, kid!
    And finally to you Juanita, my dear, sweet Juanita. I'm sorry for six years of rude jokes, harassing innuendo, and those friendly little pinches in the elevator. But who am I kidding you, you love it!
  • Vox: Greetings, hero, and welcome to DreadZone. Rest assured, you are now far out of the reach of hope. There will be no rescues, no pardons, no possibility of escape. You are now a contestant on the greatest holo-vision program the galaxy has ever known. Chances are you'll be dead by tomorrow, but those of you who play the game with skill and strategy will earn a chance to win your freedom.
  • Vox:[commercial]: IT'S TIME TO BLOW [bleep] UP!!!
  • Vox:[over PA system]: High levels of radiation have been detected in the containment area. If you reside next to or near Uranium Man, you will die shortly.
  • Vox:[over PA system]: For everyone to enjoy it, please keep the interplanetary transport as clean as possible. After all, your mother does not work here...oh, except for you, Captain Nightingale.
  • Vox: But someone disabled the shields' power supply! [Vox hugs Slugga, with a sad look on his face] Who would do such a horrible thing to the poor people of Stygia? [throws Slugga onto the wall behind him, shows evil grin] I don't know, but it sure makes up for good reality H.V.!
  • Vox: Stay tuned for the hottest episode of Dreadzone yet. And if you live on Stygia, the last one! HAHAHAHAHAAA!
  • Green[When hovership is damaged]: Sir, um... I'm seeing parts of this fly off that we, uh, kinda need.
  • Green {when hovership is damaged]: We can't take much more of this, we don't have the power!
  • Merc[When hovership is damaged]: Does this have airbags? PLEASE Tell me it has airbags!
  • Green: [whimpering After seeing a dead giant robot on Catacrom 4]
    Merc: Whats the matter Green?
    Green: Its that dead robot over there, sir. I think it moved.
  • Green: Zombies, dead ahead! Er, no pun intended sir.
  • Merc: Hey, Green, that zombie looks like your momma!
  • Merc: [on grindrail] I guess this is a bad time to say I'm afraid of heights...
  • Merc: Aw, I see an itty-bitty turret. Boss, can I blow it up? Pretty please?
  • Merc: Hey, Boss. When this is all over, I wanna do it again. And again!
  • Merc: Hey, What did you do to that VG9000 I was playing?
    Al: I figured we needed space for more useful things. Plus, you were getting too near my high score in Ozaark's Revenge.
  • Merc: [after getting to the top of the Valix beacon] It's so bright! It's like a lightbulb, but so much brighter! Uhhh...I'm not good with words.
  • Merc: [voiceover in multiplayer] Gravity boots are our way of saying "Screw you, Nature." You can walk magnetic walls and ceilings, you can even scare your momma. I don't care!
  • Merc: Boss, if you miss that swingshot target, you will suffer a horrible, painful death. No pressure, though.
  • Al: I got them off of a contestant who.... um.... won't be needing them any more.
    Merc: Don't worry boss, you won't end up like that last guy.
    Green: I hope not.... I still have nightmares about it.
  • Ranking Machine: Does it bother you that you are shorter than most heroes?
  • Ranking Machine: My circuits can no longer process stats of this magnitude.
  • Ranking Machine: I am surprised you are still alive.
  • Ranking Machine: If you believe there is an error in your score, please realize you are not that good.
  • Ranking Machine: Your heroic presence rattles my friction sensors.
  • Ranking Machine: Attention: Something small and furry has walked into the ranking station. Oh, it's you Ratchet.
  • Ratchet[speech unit turned on]: -et me out of this you blarg-headed freak monkey! I can barely breathe in this thing and my tail feels like it's shoved right up my- [speech unit turned off]
  • Dallas: [after Ratchet activates beacon] Ladies and gentlemen, I am beside myself, and boy do I look good!
  • Dallas: See, this is what they mean by gratuitous violence, Juanita. I'm going to call my kids and tell them to stop watching! ...Just as soon as I have kids.
  • Juanita: I can't look, is Team Darkstar dead? Dallas...? DALLAS?!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?
    Dallas: Nothing, just keep your eyes closed... [slap] OW!
  • Dallas: This is more fun than a bus-load of cheerleaders!
  • Dallas: They have to traverse what I like to call the "Chasm of Endless Falling and Eventual Dying". Good luck kids!
  • Dallas: In this challenge, Team Darkstar needs to grind a cable positioned hundreds of feet above the water! Is this even safe? OF COURSE NOT! THIS IS DREADZONE, BABY!
  • Dallas: Ratchet is kicking some proverbial butt. By proverbial, I mean.... I don't know what I mean.
    Merc: It means we're unstoppable.
  • Dallas: Oh, this could be disaster for Team Darkstar! I put 500 bolts on this match!
    Juanita: Dallas OUR LIVES are at risk and YOU'RE GAMBLING?!
    Dallas: Oh, Juanita, don't act like you care, YOU NEVER CARED! OH, YEAH, THERE WE GO, I POPPED A BLOOD VESSEL! AGAIN! Um, could someone please get me a tissue?
  • Juanita: that's right. take him out, Team Darkstar! destroy him, destroy his family, make him cry into his next life! Draaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
    Dallas I've never seen that before! Ladies and gentlemen, Juanita has eaten the cameraman!
  • Dallas: And they're gonna be squashed like a pancake... with syrup, and butter, and jam! Oh, no! Say, can I have breakfast for dinner or is that just weird?
  • Dallas: And that Lombax is terminating with extreme prejudice! It's a good thing we're out of range, eh, Juanita? We are out of range, aren't we?
  • Dallas: Just a reminder everyone. Tomorrow is kick your best friend in the pants day! Free popcorn for all who participate.
  • Dallas: This guy's gonna get us a lot of commercial time, Juanita. Let's just hope we don't have any more wardrobe malfunctions!
  • Dallas: Team Darkstar is making their mark in DreadZone! Team Markstar is making their dark in RedZone! Oh, dear, I've gone cross-eyed...
  • Dallas: [nervously] Greetings, DreadZone fans, and welcome to the final episode of DreadZone...[head flops into hands] Oh God...we're all gonna die! [hides beneath desk]
    Juanita: The mood is... positively...uh, electric, as the audience braces to find out whether they will survive...the next ten minutes. I can't believe I'm reading this.
    Dallas: I had my whole life ahead of me...I was gonna be a...ballet dancer!
    Juanita: PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER YOU BLABBERING IDIOT! [slaps him across the face, hard]
    Dallas: Thank you, Juanita.
  • Dallas: [In the Dark Cathedral of Kronos]It's cold, it's dank, it's scary, it's just like my ex-wife!
  • Dallas: Interesting fact, folks, DreadZone started over two guys fighting over a breakfast burrito, and the rest is history!
  • Dallas: Ratchet's about to bite the bag and step out the door. That means die.
  • Dallas: [when Puma is damaged] Hey, don't scratch the paint on that Puma. We're giving it away on Bingo night!
  • Dallas: [offscreen] After making his fortune selling cigarettes to children, Ratchet went on to pilot a tanker ship for planet Zexxon.
    Juanita: Only a week later he got drunk and crashed his tanker on the ocean planet of Aquatos. Who can forget the graphic images of baby seals smothered in radioactive waste? (sound of baby seal) little Coco never had a chance.
  • Clank: Excellent work Team Darkstar.
    Merc: Ya can't stop a leatherneck, we adapt and survive.
  • Dallas: If Ratchet was a tough cookie, what kind of cookie would he be? I'm gonna have to go with "snickerdoodle".
  • Dallas: Have you ever wondered what's in the special sauce?
  • [Ratchet, Merc, and Green arive on Orxon]
    Green: Sir, permission to speak freely? This place stinks.
  • [While Ratchet's fighting Vox]
    Vox: We'll see you in the re-runs.
  • [While Ratchet's fighting Vox]
    Vox: I love my job, when I don't like someone, I can just do this!
    [blasts Ratchet]
  • Dr. Nefarious: Huh? What's going on? You said that we were within range of a space station!
Lawrence: Well, we were, sir. How would I know that it would suddenly explode?
Dr. Nefarious: LLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRREEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNCCCCCEEEEE!

Ratchet & Clank: Size Matters

  • Ratchet: Well, I do have a massage scheduled in 15 minutes but... oh, what the heck!
  • Ratchet: Looks like I'm gonna be late for my massage! Let's go!
  • Ratchet: Hey, it's not your fault, I can be too stubborn sometimes.
    Clank: You can hear me?
    Ratchet: Uh, yeah, You're standing right here!
  • Clank: If there is trouble then it is our duty to-
    Ratchet: (snoring)
  • Ratchet: There's Luna, let's get her!
    Clank: Ratchet, don't you notice something strange about Luna?
    Ratchet: Well, it's weird that she has a huge door in the back of her head
    Clank: and why is that?
    Ratchet: well... uh... because she's a robot?
    Clank: Exactly. I believe the Technomites had deceived us from the beginning. I only do not know why.
    Ratchet: Well I bet those Technomites inside her head know.
    (Luna flies away)
    Clank: We will have to catch her first
    (Ratchet waves as Luna flies away)
  • Clank: I believe it is a Technomite artifact.
    Ratchet: No, seriously, what is it?
    Clank: It is a Technomite artifact-
    Ratchet: Clank! That girl is in trouble! Everyone knows Technomites are just some fairy story parents tell kids to explain how technology works! They're not real!
    Clank: I believe they do exist
    (Qwark comes out of nowhere)
    Qwark: I... did you... wow... that was some job, huh? (sees the artifact) AH!! I haven't seen one of these since - okay, I've never seen one of these, but I've heard of the Technomites and their mystical objects-
    Ratchet: There are... no... TECHNOMITES!!
  • Ratchet: This is so COOL!
  • Clank: fauxfamily.com? Doesn't that sound strange?
  • Ratchet: Those cameras just keep coming! What should we do?
    Clank: Just ignore them, they are probably an automated security system
    Ratchet: Okay. They blow up real good though.
  • Luna: The amazing superheroes finally catch up to the little... girl.
  • Rachet: Hey Qwark, nice hat.
    (Qwark starts crying)
    Ratchet: Sorry, was it your mothers'?
    (Qwark continues crying)
    Ratchet: Dude, seriously, it's just a hat...
    Qwark It's not that, it's my mother, and my father, I was put up for adoption as a baby and raised by monkeys!
    Ratchet: Wow, thanks for sharing.
  • Ratchet: Of course! The factory's shrunk! Well then, let's STOMP AROUND until we squish it huh? (starts stomping the ground as Clank shakes his head)
  • Otto: This isn't about credit for our work, or respect, or what other nonsense you've come to believe. This is about power! And what is more powerful then intelligence?
    Ratchet: The RYNO?
  • Clank: That is pure evil!
  • Ratchet: Yeah? Well none of this will happen until you get by us.
    Otto: Easier done than said.
  • Ratchet: Looks like Otto overlooked one thing. I'm not half as good without you.
    Clank: True.
  • Qwark: Papa! Is that you?
    Otto: Yes it's me, you idiot... I mean son.
  • Qwark: Papa! Why did you make Qwark so tiny?
  • Qwark: Papa, can I have a piggyback ride?
  • Ratchet: Somehow I don't think pride is what he's after.
  • Qwark: You want intelligence? How about um...the opposite of that.
  • Ratchet: Great, can we go now? I have another massage scheduled on Pokitaru in an hour.
  • T.V. Announcer: So get your Battle Ratchet today! It's the most realistic fighting toy ever! Warning: Battle Ratchet is a living creature, do not leave in original packaging without appropriate breathing holes.

Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction

  • On-Ship Computer: Now engaging cryo-sleep. [A gas is released]
    Ratchet: Nah, nah, nah-no. There's no way I'm gonna- [Ratchet falls alseep.]
    Clank: [giggles] It is fortunate that cryo-sleep does not work on robots. [A boxing glove shoots out of the control panel and knocks him out]
  • Zephyr: oh, we're picking up multiple hostiles in the spaceport. You rookies got the stones for a HALO jump?
    Clank: I...do not understand. What are stones? Do I have them?
    Ratchet: I'll tell you later... and no.
  • Captain Slag: I smell something I haven't smelled in many years.
    Rusty Pete: Fresh trousers?
  • Clank: Why must we always choose between certain death and possible death?
  • Ratchet: They had to invade during rushhour...