Robin Hood: Men in Tights

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Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993) is a parody of the story of Robin Hood, particularly parodying Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Other Robin Hood films, such as The Adventures of Robin Hood and Disney's Robin Hood, are also parodied. It was directed by Mel Brooks and stars Cary Elwes in the title role. The film is reminiscent of Brooks's 1975 Robin Hood based sitcom When Things Were Rotten.


Robin Hood: Because, unlike other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent (a reference to Kevin Costner's role as Robin Hood in Prince of Thieves).

Robin Hood: You've just entered the territory of Robin Hood and his Merry Men.
Rabbi Tuckman: (makes a suggestive wave of his hand) Faigelehs?
Robin Hood: No, no, we're straight, just merry.

Sheriff of Rottingham: [referring to the 'Home Alone' parodied child] He was caught poaching in the king's forest. He "deered" to kill a king's dare! (puzzled looks from Robin, Blinkin, and Achoo) (disgruntled) He DARED to kill a king's DEER.

Blinkin: This never would have happened if your father was alive.
Robin Hood: He's dead?
Blinkin: Yes.
Robin Hood: And my mother?
Blinkin: She died of pneumonia while – oh, you were away.
Robin Hood: My brothers?
Blinkin: They were all killed by the plague.
Robin Hood: My dog Pogo?
Blinkin: Run over by a carriage.
Robin Hood: My goldfish, Goldy?
Blinkin: Eaten by the cat.
Robin Hood: ... My cat?
Blinkin: Choked on the goldfish. (Robin's face contorts in sorrow). Oh, it's good to be home! Ain't it, master Robin?

Little John: A toll is a toll...and a roll is a roll. And we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls...I made that up.

Sheriff of Rottingham (after Robin has dropped a dead pig on the banquet table): That's a wild boar!
Robin Hood: No, that's a wild pig.
[He points at Prince John.]
Robin Hood: THAT'S a wild bore.

Sheriff of Rottingham (suspended upside down beneath a horse): I was angry at you before, Loxley, but now I'm really PISSED OFF!
Achoo: Pissed off? If I was that close to a horse’s wiener I'd be worried about getting pissed on!

Blinkin: Oh, Robin, you're back!
[He runs towards Robin, but passes him entirely and instead embraces a Venus DeMilo statue.]
Blinkin: Aaahh! You lost your arms in battle!
[He feels the statue's breasts.]
Blinkin: But you grew some nice boobs!
Robin: Blinkin, I'm over here.

Achoo: Hey, Blinkin.
Blinkin: Did you say Abe Lincoln?
Achoo: I didn't say Abe Lincoln, I said "Hey, Blinkin". Hold the reins, man.

Townspeople: A black sheriff?!
Blinkin: He's black?
Achoo: And why not? It worked in Blazing Saddles.

[Robin sees blind Blinkin acting as lookout in a tree.]
Robin: Blinkin, what are you doing?
Blinkin: I'm... guessing... I guess... nobody's coming.
Robin: Get down from there... twit.
Blinkin: Well, I guess there's a ladder around here somewhere... Oh, here, good.
[stands on ladder. ladder falls]
Blinkin: Shit!
[stands up, brushes himself down]
Blinkin: I CAN SEE!
[runs into a tree]
Blinkin: Nope, I was wrong.

Male Wedding Guest #1: Good morrow, Abbot. [Abbot nods]
Female Wedding Guest #1: Good morrow, Abbot. [Abbot nods]
Male Wedding Guest #2: Good morrow, Abbot.
Male Wedding Guest #3: Hey Abbot!
Abbot: [startled, responds through gritting teeth] I hate that guy!

Robin: Maid Marian, do you believe in 'love at first sight'?
Maid Marian: Well, it depends on what you're looking at.

[Robin addresses the villagers.]
Robin: Good people, who have traveled from villages near and far, lend me your ears!
[They all rip their ears off and throw them towards Robin.]
Robin: That's disgusting.

Abbot: I will perform the opening prayer in the New Latin. Oh ordlay, ivethgay usway ouryay essingsblay. Amen-ay!
Crowd: AMEN-AY!
Abbot: We're gathered here today, to witness the marriage, of Mervyn, the Sheriff of...
[crowd snickers]
Abbot: Mervyn? Your name is Mervyn?
Sheriff of Rottingham: [over crowd laughing] Shut up! Shut up!
Abbot: OK... Mervyn. [smirks]
[crowd laughs louder]

Prince John: Its not my fault, I got some really bad advice from Rottingham
Crowd: [all coughing]Bullshit! Bullshit!

Will: [To Blinkin] Fix your boob man, you look like a bleedin' Picasso!

Sheriff of Rottingham: [To Robin] King illegal forest to pig kill wild in it a is!?
Robin and Marian: What?
Sheriff: Don't you know "it is illegal to kill a wild pig in the king's forest!?"

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