Rome (TV series)
Rome (2005) is an American-British television show by HBO/BBC about the last century b.C. in Rome.
- 1 Season One
- 1.1 The Stolen Eagle [1.1]
- 1.2 How Titus Pullo Brought Down the Republic [1.2]
- 1.3 An Owl in a Thornbush [1.3]
- 1.4 Stealing from Saturn [1.4]
- 1.5 The Ram Has Touched the Wall [1.5]
- 1.6 Egeria [1.6]
- 1.7 Pharsalus [1.7]
- 1.8 Caesarion [1.8]
- 1.9 Utica [1.9]
- 1.10 Triumph [1.10]
- 1.11 The Spoils [1.11]
- 1.12 Kalends of February [1.12]
- 2 Season Two
- 2.1 Passover [2.1]
- 2.2 Son of Hades [2.2]
- 2.3 These being the words of Marcus Tullius Cicero [2.3]
- 2.4 Testudo et Lepus (The Tortoise and the Hare) [2.4]
- 2.5 Heroes of the Republic [2.5]
- 2.6 Philippi [2.6]
- 2.7 Death Mask [2.7]
- 2.8 A Necessary Fiction [2.8]
- 2.9 Deus Impeditio Esuritori Nullus [2.9]
- 2.10 De Padre Vostro [2.10]
- 3 External links
The Stolen Eagle [1.1]
Titus Pullo: I have simpler tastes. I like to kill my enemy, take their gold and enjoy their women. That's it. Why tie yourself to one? Where's the flavor? Where's the joy?
How Titus Pullo Brought Down the Republic [1.2]
An Owl in a Thornbush [1.3]
- [Caesar has sent Vorenus ahead to scout with a squadron of cavalry]
- Gaius Julius Caesar:: Can we trust him?
- Mark Antony: : Vorenus? Deep Thirteenth, him. He'd follow the Eagle up Pluto's arse!
- [Pullo instructs Vorenus on the fine points of wooing.]
- Titus Pullo:: Now, the best present you can give a woman is the warm, beating heart of an enemy. Oh, they say they don't like it, but they do! Makes them wet as October!
- [discussing how to please Lucius's wife.]
- Titus Pullo:: Also: very important. When you couple with her there's this spot just above her cunny. It's like a button. Now, attend to that button and she will open up like a flower.
- Lucius Vorenus:: [outraged] How do you know this about her?!
- Titus Pullo:: [momentarily gobsmacked] All women have them! Ask anyone!
- [On finding Rome unprotected by Pompeian troops:]
- Lucius Vorenus: [aghast] This can only mean that the Republic has fallen.
- Titus Pullo: And yet, the sky is still above us and the earth still below. Strange.
- Vorenus: How could Mars allow such a thing to happen?
- Pullo: Maybe he was out having a crap and missed it!
Stealing from Saturn [1.4]
The Ram Has Touched the Wall [1.5]
- [Atia has informed Octavian she has engaged a tutor for him: one of the soldiers who rescued him.]
- Octavian: Lucius Vorenus?
- Atia of the Julii: Is that it? Not the dour Catonian, I don't like him. The cheeful brutish one.
- Octavian: [turning to go] Titus Pullo.
- Atia: What curious names these plebs have. Pullo.
Titus Pullo: [in a brothel] What's your price, then?
Madame: One thousand.
Titus Pullo: Gerraht! I could have half the whores in Narbo for that, and their mothers!
Madame: We're not in Narbo, wherever that might be.
Titus Pullo: All right, my dove, we'll pay, but the girl better fuck him like Helen of Troy with her arse on fire.
Newsreader: [Doing a PSA]This month's public bread is provided by the Capitoline Brotherhood of Millers. The Brotherhood uses only the finest flour: true Roman bread for true Romans.
- [Antony's fleet is caught in a tempest; Vorenus and Pullo huddle belowdecks with the soldiers.]
- Titus Pullo: This is cac, this is! I'm wet through!
- Lucius Vorenus: We're perfectly safe - a very favorable offering was made to Triton before we left.
- Pullo: Well, if he can't keep me drier than this, he can suck my cock!
- [Ship's mast breaks]
- Vorenus: When will you learn to keep your fat mouth shut?!?!
- [The ship founders.]
King Ptolemy XIII: [presenting the head of Pompey Magnus] We were going to make him a body, with moving arms and legs, and do a mime show with real animals and everything, and...
Gaius Julius Caesar: Silence!
[long, heavy silence]
Gaius Julius Caesar: Shame on the house of Ptolemys for such barbarity. Shame.
Pothinus: But... you are enemies.
Gaius Julius Caesar: He was a consul of Rome!
[guards draw swords]
Gaius Julius Caesar: A consul of Rome. To die in this sordid way - quartered like some low thief. Shame!
Pothinus: That is not just.
Posca: Post mortem interests of this type are legally entailed to the presiding consul, i.e. Gaius Julius Caesar. It's... law.
Pothinus: Roman law.
Gaius Julius Caesar: Is there some other form of law, you wretched woman?
- Marc Antony: If I ever again hear your name connected with murmurs of treachery, I will cut off these soft, pink hands and nail them to the senate door.
- Posca: The Roman people are not crying out for clean elections. They are crying out for jobs. They are crying out for clean water, for food, for stability and peace.
The Spoils [1.11]
- Marcus Junius Brutus: I betrayed nothing. Had you told me you were to march on Rome and asked me for my allegiance, I would have given it. I would've judged you insane, but I would've given you my allegiance because I look on you as my father.
- Gaius Julius Caesar: Brutus--
- Marcus Junius Brutus: You did not ask me for my allegiance. You demanded it at swordpoint. I betrayed nothing.
- Cassius: Look now. Look at that.
- Marcus Junius Brutus: It is a chair. What of it?
- Cassius: A chair? It's a throne!
- Marcus Junius Brutus: I believe thrones are generally more decorative. That is decidedly plain, and chair-like.
Kalends of February [1.12]
Son of Hades [2.2]
- Vorenus: I AM A SON OF HADES! I FUCK CONCORD IN HER ARSE!
These being the words of Marcus Tullius Cicero [2.3]
- Clerk (holding up a scroll for all to see): These being the words of Marcus Tullius Cicero: When I was a young man, I defended the State. As an old man, I shall not abandon it. I give sincere thanks to Mark Antony, who has generously presented me with the most promising theme imaginable. I address you directly Antony. Please listen as if you.... as if you....
- Mark Antony: Go on...
- Clerk (shaken): ...please listen, as if you were sober and intelligent, and not a drink-sodden, sex-addled wreck. [Senators start leaving the senate hall] You are certainly not without accomplishments: It is a rare man who can boast of becoming a bankrupt, before even coming of age. You have brought upon us war, pestilence and destruction. You are Rome's Helen of Troy. But then... but then...
- Mark Antony (fuming in anger): Go on... GO ON!
- Clerk: ..a woman's role has always suited you best.
[Mark Antony screams in rage, and proceeds to beat the Clerk to death with the scroll]
Testudo et Lepus (The Tortoise and the Hare) [2.4]
Heroes of the Republic [2.5]
- Mark Antony: Oh, and when you kill Cicero cut off his hands and nail them to the Senate doors. I told the old bugger that I would do that to him.
- Eirene: [in tears] I'm preglant!
- Titus Pullo: What?
- Eirene: I'm preglant! Preglant!!
- Titus Pullo: [surprised, but delighted] What, pregnant?
- Eirene: However you say it!
Death Mask [2.7]
- Marc Anthony: [sees Servilia commit suicide in front of Atias house] Now that's an exit.
A Necessary Fiction [2.8]
Deus Impeditio Esuritori Nullus [2.9]
De Padre Vostro [2.10]
- Titus Pullo: About your Father...