Look up, laugh loud, talk big, keep the color in your cheek and the fire in your eye, adorn your person, maintain your health, your beauty and your animal spirits.William Hazlitt
- So little time so many buffets. (her resort radio commerical)
- This town is a back-stabbing, scum-sucking, small-minded town, but thanks for the money. (from an ad she took out in The Hollywood Reporter)
- Beauty comes in all sizes — not just size 5.
- Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?
- I don't like the terms housewife and homemaker. I prefer to be called Domestic Goddess… it's more descriptive.
- I will clean the house when Sears comes out with a ride-on vacuum cleaner.
- It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.
- My parents… had decided early on that all of the problems in my family had somehow to do with me. All roads led to Roseyville, a messy, chaotic town where, as parents, they were required to visit but could never get out of quick enough or find a decent parking place.
- People tell me I'm not very feminine. Can you believe that? People actually tell me that? Well I just tell them to SUCK MY DICK.