SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron
"SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron" was a TV cartoon done by Hanna-Barbera productions, from 1993 to 1995. The show's popularity has been nonstop since. New episodes have being produced in foreign markets since the show's original cancellation attempt, and the English dubs have been confined to the United Kingdom and Australia.
- 1 Catch Phrases
- 2 Razor/Jake Clawson
- 3 T-Bone/Chance Furlong
- 4 Burke and Murray
- 5 Captain Grimalken
- 6 Dr. N. Zyme
- 7 Commander Ulysses Feral
- 8 Lieutenant Commander Steele
- 9 Lieutenant Felina Feral
- 10 The Enforcer Sergeant
- 11 Ann Gora
- 12 Jonny K.
- 13 Al
- 14 Mayor Manx
- 15 Deputy Mayor Calico "Callie" Briggs
- 16 David Litterbin
- 17 Fango
- 18 Notes
- 19 External Links
- Razor/Jake Clawson: ...BINGO!
- Razor/Jake Clawson: Sorry, we got here as soon as we could.
- T-Bone/Chance Furlong: You got it, partner!
- T-Bone/Chance Furlong: ROCK AND ROLL! (at the end of every season 3 episode after a victory)
- Commander Ulysses Feral: This is Feral! Bring me chopper backup!
- Commander Ulysses Feral: The Enforcers will handle it!
- Commander Ulysses Feral: Who are you calling a blowhard, blowhard?
- Lt. Felina Feral: What does he think I am? Kitty litter?
- Lt. Felina Feral: Sorry, uncle. I can't hear a word you are saying. (when she disobeys him)
- The Sergeant: Yes, sir!
- Ann Gora: This is Ann Gora for Kat's Eye News.
- Al: I am NOT going there, Ann! I repeat, "NOT!"
- Al: What kind of question is that, you whippersnapper?
- Jonny K.: That's the worst thing I ever heard of!
- Mayor Manx: The sooner I get this done, the sooner I can tee off!
- Mayor Manx: Feral, I give the orders around here!
- Callie: Oh no, you don't!
- Callie: That's not the entire case, Mayor Manx.
- Callie: Ack! Throw it back!
- Dr. Viper: These mutationssssssssssss are perfect!
- Dr. Viper: Jussssssssssssst call me "Viper!" "Dr. Viper!"
- Dark Kat: Give up! You know that I control this city!
- Little Old Lady: I'll report you to my auto club!
- Burke and Murray: <laughing> Adios, amigo! (when driving off after leaving a mess)
- Dr. Konway: Nauseating, isn't it?
- Captain Grimalken: Cool!
- Captain Grimalken: Oh, tragedy!
- Captain Grimalken: What a ruckus! I can't imagine what you went through.
- Captain Grimalken: I cannot help you, for combat is not our strategy.
Razor: We respect that. Don't worry, though. We'll get him. (from When Strikes Mulitor)
- T-Bone: Thanks, Razor, but I could have taken care of him myself!
Razor: Just making sure my cement gun is operational. <walks over to cat zombie> Gee, these exhibits are quite lifelike, aren't they? (from The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice)
- Chance! Don't tell me you left the oil pump running all day again! (from The Oil Crisis)
- Morbulus: You can't stop me! I can see everything you do!
Razor: That explains why you've got eyes in the back of your head! (from The Return of Morbulus)
- Razor: I tell you, Commander; he's a dangerous one. I wouldn't take him out of the missle.
Commander Ulysses Feral: Is this what made the power go out?
Commander Ulysses Feral: Well then, I'm not going to press charges this time, but truth be told, I still want to see you two without your masks.
Razor: These aren't actually masks, Commander; these are a special kind of bandanna. (from Night of the Dark Kat)
- From the looks of that sword, I would say we landed in the Dark Ages. (from Bride of the Pastmaster)
- Callista: When did they think I was supposed to be your ancestor?
Callie: When the SWAT Kats landed in your time zone, they though you were me until you told them your name.
Razor: Needless to say, we got proof you two are related. The Pastmaster was trying to kill you both. (from Old Meets New)
- T-Bone: How is this going to help the Turbokat get back in the air?
Razor: Theoretically, the volcanic gas mixture should lift us off the ground...or blow us up. (from The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice)
- Lights out, pal! (from Razor's Edge)
- I guess those monsters put agricite in their cereals! (from Caverns of Horror)
- Razor: Stand back, T-Bone, and guard Ann. I'll guard your tail.
Felina: You mean we'll guard your tail.
Felina: I don't take NO for an answer!
Razor: You sure are one stubborn she-kat! (from Caverns of Horror)
- YEAH! (said at the end of every season 1 episode)
- Old Lady: It is about time you fools got here! I ought to report you to my auto club!
Jake: We got here as soon as we could, ma'am. We're not a delievery service, you know.
<Chance walks over and examines the car>
Chance: I think your battery is busted, that's all.
Jake: Here. We'll give you a charge up.
Chance: Even better. I'll supercharge it!
<Chance presses the SUPERCHARGE button and the battery is back to normal>
Chance: Now try it.
<The old lady starts the car and screams as she drives off at 200 MPH>
Jake: She didn't even get a chance to thank us.
Chance: She's probably home by now. That's where we should be, anyway.
<they get in the car and drive off>
Jake: Let's hope we get home in time. I don't want to miss Litterbin!
Chance: Don't worry. I know a shortcut!
Jake: Oh, Chance! (from Enter the Madkat)
- <T-Bone and Razor are going at Mach 3, Mach 4, then Mach 5 in a simulator training machine testing agility at fast speeds and it stops>
T-Bone: <Aside> All right, ten seconds! Beat that, SWAT Kat! <to Razor> Look. A new personal best. 10 seconds at Mach 5.
Razor: Well, if you say so. Of course, you could be just yapping away to make yourself look good and me look bad.
T-Bone: Huh? No, I'm not! I swear!
Razor: You could have been knocked out, too, and you're just not admitting it!
T-Bone: That does it! 2 out of 3!
Razor: You're on! (from The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice)
- Chance: Those cereals I ate as a little kitten must have had agricite in them. That, coupled with diet and exercise could explain why I'm so big and strong.
Jake: Oh, yeah? Well, I worked for it, too. I'll see you 3 and raise you 2.
<does karate chop on the bricks and they crack>
Chance: All right, buddy! I'll see you 2 and raise you 3!
<does karate chop, nothing happens>
Jake: Guess your mama didn't put enough agricite in your cereal! Better luck next time, buddy!
<bricks gradually break>
Chance: Huh? YES!!!!!!!! (from Caverns of Horror)
- Razor: Phew! That was close!
T-Bone: I'll say. Next time, pick an unleaded volcano! (from The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice)
- Come on, baby! Come on! Gotcha! (from The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice)
- Jake: Why didn't you tell me you couldn't swim?
Chance: You never asked me!
Jake: Maybe I can teach you how to swim.
Chance: Don't bother, Jake. Fish swim, I fly! (from Mutation City)
- I thought the movie "Hard Shell" was a movie about a tank, not a giant beetle! (from The Ci-Kat-A)
- We are Miss Briggs personal bodyguards. (from Destructive Nature)
- Jonny K.: You gotta help us. Al has been going on a wild rebellious rampage lately. He seems to shun all of us.
T-Bone: It isn't your fault, Jonny. He's been hypontized by Dark Kat.
Jonny K.: That's the worst thing I ever heard of!
T-Bone: Have no fear; the SWAT Kats are here! (from Al Rebels)
- That's the same music that was going through my head earlier. (from Pranks in the Dark)
- What are you looking at, ugly? (from The Ci-Kat-A)
- Felina: You're not coming with me?
T-Bone: Hey, you're the one with boots! (from Partners in Time)
- I'm a mean, lean, robot-ripping machine! (from Attack of the Robo-Bites)
- Razor: It's two of us vs. a dozen of Karabots.
T-Bone: Make that the two of us against a ton of these dumsbuckets! (from Speed Trap)
- T-Bone: <after shooting a Mayor Manx figure in a simulation training room> Aw, crud!
Razor: Looks like Megakat City's going to need a new mayor. That's an automatic game over!
T-Bone: Well then, I want a rematch!
Razor: What do you say, then? 2 out of 3?
T-Bone: You're on! (from Night of the Dark Kat)
- Razor: I thought you said you couldn't swim.
T-Bone: Guess I can swim. Truth be told, I didn't know how to be a mutated frog either. (from Mutation City)
- There is Feral, probably taking credit for what we did. Also looks like he hasn't been to the litterbox in a week. (from The Giant Bacteria)
- Jake: What is that?
Chance: $10,000 in cash!
Jake: $10,000?! Chance, don't tell me you won the lottery again!
Chance: It wasn't the lottery, Jake; it was that sweepstakes I was not told of until Commander Feral announced something that the state was doing.
Jake: Another secret sweepstakes, huh?
Chance: Yeah. Guess Feral was just being tempermental about his past again. (from Flashing the Cash)
- Jake: Look at this. My new book. "310 ways to save the universe."
Chance: Really? All I needed to know about saving universes I learned from playing Space Cat: Surge of the Critical Carnivore.
Jake: Is that a new arcade game?
Chance: Yeah. It made such a hero out of Space Cat that I am encouraged to fight like he does.
Jake: How do you plan to do that?
Chance: It's all in the Turbokat, buddy! All in the Turbokat! (from The Invasion of the Space Kats)
Burke and Murray
- Burke: Gee, Murray. Furlong and Clawson sure came a long way since their Enforcer days, huh?
Murray: Yeah. A long way...DOWN! (from The Giant Bacteria)
- Burke: Miss flying, ya loser? Maybe I can put you back in the air! (from Metal Urgency)
- Grimalken: I thank you two so much. I couldn't have gotten my ship back any other way.
T-Bone: No need for thanks, Grimalken. It's just our job.
Grimalken: Wow. You ask no reward. That is a total surprise. But if there ever is one way we can repay you, it is this.
<his crew pulls off the sheet, revealing the Turbokat as good as new>
Razor: Whoa. How did you fix it so fast?
Grimalken: Just a little bit of our high-speed space technology! (from When Strikes Mutlior)
- If I didn't know any better, I'd say I just become 50 years younger, even though my body appearence never changed. (from Grimalken Rocks the Night Away)
- <sung> You make me feel like dancing, I want to dance the night away. (from Grimalken Rocks the Night Away)
- Al: Do you expect me to believe that?
Grimalken: I don't expect you to believe anything! (from Al Rebels)
- Ulysses: I still say the problem is that he is discontent.
Grimalken: Discontent, eh? What else would he be? Disloyal? Disorganized? Or what about disengaged? (from Al Rebels)
- This ship really belongs to me, but Mulitor took it over for his pirate deeds. (from When Strikes Mulitor)
- <sung> Babe, please don't go away. Hold me close; don't ever let me go! (from Grimalken Rocks the Night Away)
- <Grimalken is proposing that his superhero name be "Captain Starsmoker">
T-Bone: You want that to be your superhero name?
Razor: It doesn't bother me any.
Fango: I like it.
Ulysses: I don't. You are not a violent cat, Grimalken. Remember your traditions?
Grimalken: Traditions? What traditions? I am a fighter cat now. And I want the world to see that in my eyes!
Ulysses: So you've gone patriotic, huh?
Grimalken: Why wouldn't I? I am just as dedicated to this town as you and the SWAT Kats.
Ulysses: I still say I want to see them without their masks, or whatever they are.
Razor: I told you, they are bandannas with eyeholes.
Ulysses: That doesn't change my point, which is to say that I can never imagine you as a superhero, Grimalken!
Grimalken: But I am, and henceforth and forthwith, let it be known by all catkind that I am CAPTAIN STARSMOKER! (from All Powered Up)
- Grimalken: What would you call your superidentity? "Super Feral?" <laughs>
Ulysses: That's too clunky. Wait a minute. I got a list of names in here.
Grimalken: You can't even think of a name without approving it! (from All Powered Up)
- <sung> Smokin'! Smokin'! I'm feeling so hot; mama, I ain't jokin'! (from Grimalken Rocks the Night Away)
- If I didn't know better, I'd say that somebody's going to hurt someone before this night is through. (from Grimalken Rocks the Night Away)
- Ulysses: Did you SWAT Kats see him? I want a piece of him!
T-Bone: Relax, Feral. Catching criminals like Hard Drive is an art.
Grimalken: So is tightrope walking, but I don't have time for that one. (from The Perilous Pit Stops of Hard Drive)
- Hard Drive: You won't get away this time, Starsmoker!
Grimalken: Oh? I think I will! (from All Powered Up)
- Eat dust, you creeps! (from Battlestar Grimalken, a parody of Battlestar Galactica)
Dr. N. Zyme
- Now to find out if our mutagen really worked. Severe the stem, Purvis. (from The Origin of Dr. Viper)
- Dr. Elrod Purvis: No thank you, I'm going home.
Dr. N. Zyme: Oh. Well, see you in the morning. Oh, and congratulations. (from The Origin of Dr. Viper)
- Purvis, where do you think you're going with that? And what are you doing with my notes? (from The Origin of Dr. Viper)
- Poor Purvis. Helping catkind wasn't enough for his ego, I suppose. <views plant> Oh no. It's mutated. That means the formula is worthless. And to think Purvis perished for nothing. I better tell the mayor not to come. (from The Origin of Dr. Viper)
- Dr. N. Zyme: What? Who's there? Is that...is that you, Purvis?
Dr. Viper: Not anymore! Jusssssssssssssst call me "Viper"! "Dr. Viper"!
Dr. N. Zyme: Oh no! Somebody! Call Commander Feral! HELP! (from The Origin of Dr. Viper)
- Dr. N. Zyme: What are you doing, Purvis?
Dr. Viper: The name issssssssssssssss Viper! And I'm going to do a little experiment, in the biology lab!
Dr. N. Zyme: Oh! Where's Commander Feral when you need him? (from The Origin of Dr. Viper)
- I had made plans to attend Purvis's funeral, but he's now Dr. Viper. (from Viper Wants His Mummy)
- Felina: My uncle and I want you to meet us at the local diner where we can discuss this further.
Dr. N. Zyme: Great. I am at least thirsty from all of those truckloads of materials I helped you unload this morning. (from Flashing the Cash)
- <sung> Money, money, money, must be funny, in the rich man's world.10 (from Grimalken Rocks the Night Away)
Commander Ulysses Feral
- Ulysses: Felina! What are you doing here?
Felina: You needed the best pilot, uncle, so here I am!
Ulysses: All right. Just don't hit anyone innocent. (from Mutation City)
- Ooh...this is Feral. Bring me more chopper backup! (from When Strikes Mulitor)
- Ulysses: Fango! Causing trouble again, I see? Tell me, are those SWAT Kats responsible for this fire?
Fango: No, Commander. It was Mac and Molly Mange.
Ulysses: But we put them in Alkatraz many years ago!
Fango: Believe me, they're back, and they are now these robot-looking things. I bet you $85 some mad scientist dude has something to do with that?
Ulysses: Well then, here's your $85. I hope this ends your catnip smuggling days.
Fango: Well, that's obvious. Katscratch was killed when Mac blew him up with his lasers. He then tosses an exploding cigar and it burned the fire down.
Ulysses: But why did I see the SWAT Kats?
Fango: They used a foam bomb to put the fire out.
Ulysses: Well, bless my soul. Take care, Fango. (from The Metallikats)
- Al: Do you enjoy being wet?
Ulysses: Somewhat, because you are a wet blanket! (from The Joker's Insanity)
- If you were to ask me, I think stealth is sorely missing from the tatics you SWAT Kats are famous for. (from Offense or Defense, Dark Kat is Stupid!)
- Throw a net over that guy! (from The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice)
- <sung> Oh, I wish I was in the land of cotton, where old times there are not forgotten. Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land! (from Grimalken Rocks the Night Away)
- Ann: What is your opinion of Pat Crazekrack?
Ulysses: If it weren't for "Wheel and Deal," he could easily have been a stand-up comic. (from Wheel of Scandals)
- SWAT Kats, if you are listening, my attitude towards you has changed. Miss Briggs is always butting heads with me, and I finally realize why you do what you do. Forgive me, but I was a bigger threat to you than any villain, half the time. (from A Change of Hearts)
- <sung> I hope I never say goodbye, to you, my darling, oh, so true! (from Grimalken Rocks the Night Away)
- Felina: Patience, Al. Fishing is a hard virtue to conceive.
Ulysses: So is playing the double bass, but we don't have time to learn that. (from A Change of Hearts)
- We've been swindled!5 (from Al Rebels)
- We need backup, fast! (from Al Rebels and The Return of Madkat)
- Say what you will, Litterbin. I don't consider the SWAT Kats something to joke about. (from Enter the Madkat)
Lieutenant Commander Steele
- Gerald Hemmingway: Why did you betray him? You are annoying.
Steele: See? What did I tell you? I am only good in name. I am far more evil--or at least more irritating--than any other Enforcer. Go me! (from The Gerald Conspiracies)
- You are not serious, Commander. I did all I could, but this werido still calls for you. (from Contenders Anonymous)
- Oh yeah, baby! We just hit the jackpot! (from Steele's Casino)
- I didn't hire you blockheads to be slow. Double time! Double time! Come on, you wimps! Faster! (from Steele Presses His Luck at Boot Camp)
- Ulysses: Forgot the way, Steele?
Steele: No. I was taking charge of your troops. (from The Wrath of Dark Kat)
- Felina: My uncle is replacing you with me. He thinks you are too stupid to do anything if anything at all!
Steele: He can't do this to me. I went through basic training! Not to mention my dad did!
Felina: Your dad? He couldn't sell a good deal on a car to Mother Theresa!
Steele: Well, you couldn't give life insurance to an eskimo! Ha! (from Steele Gets Fired)
- This is all your fault, Felina! If it wasn't for your rebellious actions, I wouldn't be fired! (from Steele Gets Fired)
- Fango: So you got fired. Was it your dad's idea for you to take over Feral's job?
Steele: Pretty much. Now that I am in jail, I don't have time to confront him. (from Steele Gets Fired)
- Ulysses: I can arrange it, if you really think your dad was a terrible influence.
Steele: My fate is sealed, Commander. I can do nothing. The only major difference is that he was drunk, and I am not drunk. I never drank any drink just for the fun of being intoxicated, but my dad always wanted one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.4 (from Steele Gets Fired)
- Ah, tell 'em to fill out a form! (from Enter the Madkat)
- Jonny K.: Excuse me, sir. We are on a mission and are looking for Patton Marshalwhopper.11
Ulysses: Have you seen him?
Clown: Sure. Sold him my car.
Steele: You couldn't sell wood to a termite! (from The Discontinuator)
Lieutenant Felina Feral
- Tiger Conklin: Tiger Conklin, President of Megakat Metallurgical Company.
Felina: Lt. Felina Feral. I've been informed of problems going on down in the mines, Mr. Conklin.
Tiger Conklin: Don't worry. There are no problems here, Lieutenant.
Taylor: 5 of our miners have been disappearing! You call that a problem?
Felina: That's why the Enforcers are here. We are prepared for anything. (from Caverns of Horror)
- Felina: Not your best night to go out for a drive, eh, Miss Briggs?
Callie: Oops! Felina! I didn't see you!
Felina: Grab on!
<Felina pulls Callie up into her chopper>
Callie: I have no idea when it started. It just happened.
Felina: I see. I wonder how my uncle is going to handle this one. (from Mutation City)
- No thank you, uncle. I've got a better idea. (from The Deadly Chop Shop)
- Fango: <adressing his former fellow mobster, Donald> He has trouble making new friends, even if he was once a gangster with Katscratch.
Felina: Well, what do you know? He is so smart, he can't communicate with kats his own age.
Ulysses: Intelligence has nothing to do with it. He just has poor socialization skills!
Felina: That's basically what I just said.
Ulysses: Well, if I do say so myself, and I do, he is in deep trouble for being a gangster in the first place.
Felina: Well, it's been my belief that the mobsters are extremely annoying. Anyway, he is not worthy of even joining that rehab center because of his shyness.
Ulysses: See? You just proved my point. Shyness is a result of poor socialization skills. Donald can't get along with others because he was never taught how. No offense, Fango.
Felina: No, Uncle. He can't get along with others because he was raised by a father who quoted encyclopedias at him. No offense.
Ulysses: I still say he can't do it because his two fellow mobsters thought it was okay to point out his weakness in public. No offense.
Fango: I don't think you are in any position to point to someone else as being responsible for his weaknesses.
Ulysses: Oh! You want to bring my father into this?
Fango: I'll dig up your grandpa if I have to!
Ulysses: Okay! My father may have been stupid enough to point out my weaknesses, but that doesn't change my point, which is that the reason Donald gets panced on every day by the news crew, is because he is the hasty offspring of two crimial parents! No offense, Felina.
Felina: None taken. I just wish that someone would finally get him to reason.
Fango: Who do you suppose?
Felina: Who else? The Coast Guard! (from Mach 5 Mob Duty)
- Sergeant: He has difficulty, you say? I think it's because of his weaknesses.
Felina: You're just like Fango in your thinking! (from Mach 5 Mob Duty)
- <sung> I was an impossible case. No one ever could reach me. But I think I can see in your face; there's a love you can teach me!1 (from Grimalken Rocks the Night Away)
The Enforcer Sergeant
- Ulysses: Well, how did that go?
Sergeant: Negative, Commander. All I could hear was trouble ensuring. I could have sworn those rebels were attacking us. (from The Second American Civil War)
- I'm gonna enjoy slammin' those tin cans! (from Katastrophe)
- Prof. Hackle: I programmed him to clean all messes. Somehow he considered us a mess.
Sergeant: Well, that explains your house and your TV set! (from Speed Trap)
- Affirmitive. I am picking up the locations now! (from The Greatest Kat on Earth)
- Sergeant: Well, what do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
Ulysses: I don't know.
Sergeant: A stick! <rimshot> Hey, who's playing the drums here?
Ulysses: Either Fango is up to it again, or your imagination was doing it to you.
Sergeant: You're right. It was just my imagination running away with me. (from The Joker's Insanity)
- We got out of that cell so effectively, I swear there was some Sousa tune going on in my head. (from The Coming of Kriegland, a fanfic by Nathan Stanley)
- Ulysses: Sergeant, go to the rest of the police and see if you can get them to put an APB on this George Dallas character.
Sergeant: Okay, but I am sure they won't believe me.
Ulysses: If they don't, they'll pay big!
Sergeant: That's just what I wanted to hear! (from Loyal to One)
- Don't worry, Commander. The boat's a little beat up, but we are okay, thanks to the Coast Guard. (from Mach 5 Mob Duty)
- Jonny K.: I'm telling you, Sergeant; something kidnapped Annie. I just hope she is okay.
Sergeant: Have no fear, Jonny. The Enforcers are here. We'll handle it.
Jonny K.: That's what Feral always says and he's never right.
Sergeant: That's because he doesn't like the SWAT Kats.
Jonny K.: Do you?
Sergeant: I do. As a matter of fact, I salute them! (from Mach 5 Mob Duty)
- T-Bone: So your dad was a merchant marine?
Sergeant: For 32 years, he was. "Ah, those were the days," he once told me. "Back when you could give an unwanted salesman the old 1-2!" (from Recollections)
- Over hill, over hale, my determination will never fail! (from Loyal to One)
- Who are you calling a bloke? I am 50 years younger than you, ugly! (from Hackle's Wish)
- Prof. Hackle: He was going to pay $10 million, but I couldn't take it, because it was Dark Kat.
Sergeant: Well, don't worry. <opens the back of his truck, and money bags appear> I got him to pay you.
Prof. Hackle: Is it really $10 million?
Sergeant: No. It's... <pause> ...are you ready for this? <pause> $10 billion!
Prof. Hackle: Wow! This is a dream come true! But will the bank let me deposit this much?
Sergeant: If they don't, they will, once I introduce them to my good friend, Señor Fist! (from Hackle's Wish)
- Ann: How's it coming? Can you hear me, Jonny?
Jonny K.: Loud and clear.
Ann: How's the picture?
Jonny K.: Crystal. And, what if you get caught sneaking around down there?
Ann: Can't break a story without breaking a few rules. Gotta go! (from Caverns of Horror)
- This is Ann Gora, Kat's Eye News, coming to you live from the mines of Megakat Metallurgical Company, where five miners have mysteriously been disappearing over unknown circumstances. (from Caverns of Horror)
- Jonny, zoom in for analysis. (from The Invasion of the Space Kats)
- Al: Did you say, "disposed of"?
Ann: Yes, I did. I can't believe this is happening. It's only been several months and already we have reports of invaders from another planet. (from The Invasion of the Space Kats)
- Don't get me wrong; I meant to do that. (from The Invasion of the Space Kats)
- The more mixed up everything is, the better I can do a report on it. (from The Invasion of the Space Kats)
- Ann Gora for Kat's Eye News, reporting live from the sites of Area 21, where the public is anxiously awaiting the arrivals of the cats of Kriegland. (from The Coming of Kriegland, a fanfic by Nathan Stanley)
- Really? I clocked it at 250 MPH, with an inverse ratio of ±5. (from Add It Up, Annie!)
- Razor: That works out to about $30,000 worth of tools.
Ann: And in kat's language, that is €31,210. (from The Case of Dollars vs. Euros.)
- Pat Crazekrack: I tell you, never have we had someone win as much as your cameragman.
Ann: I was certain that that much in dollars matched Ł210,000.7 (from Wheel of Scandals)
- Let's go to a close-up on this one, Jonny. (from This Just In!)
- And if they do find anything down there, Kat's Eye News will be there to cover it. (from Caverns of Horror, The Return of Madkat, and This Just In!)
- Ann: Jonny, where are my keys?
Jonny K.: Right where you left them, Annie. I still say you shouldn't have forgotten the promo tomorrow, not to mention that Pat Crazekrack is is town. (from Wheel of Scandals)
- Ulysses: Don't worry. The Enforcers will handle it.
Jonny K.: That's what you always say, and you are never telling the truth.
Ulysses: Hey, whose side are you on?
Jonny K.: All I know is that it has nothing to do with you and your stupid by-the-book tendencies. In fact, if I didn't know better, I'd say you have A.D.D. (from This Just In!)
- I tell you, Lt. Feral; something kidnapped Annie! (from Caverns of Horror)
- Al: Whenever Ann needed proof, I stomped off.
Jonny K.: Well, that explains your mood, and your accent. (from Al Rebels)
- Felina: Say, we got to the bottom of that in a hurry.
David: Where are we?
Jonny K.: Let me see. We know we are somewhere inside the Pyramid of Katchu Picchu. So we take the square of these two sides and add it to the square of the hypotenuse.
Jonny K.: Like your head, Litterbin. So we take that times the square root of 598,176.63. Aha. Just as I thought.
Felina and David: Yes?
Jonny K.: We're hopelessly lost! (from Viper Wants His Mummy)
- Jonny K.: Holy cow! A $675,000 jackpot!
Pat Crazekrack: Yep. And it will be yours if you solve the puzzle right now!
Jonny K.: That I can do!
Pat Crazekrack: Go ahead.
Jonny K.: THE PURRLITZER PRIZE AWARDS. <Jonny celebrates as clangs and sirens go off and confetti drops from the ceiling while the audeince cheers and applauds> (from Wheel of Scandals)
- <Jonny returns home with his winnings on "Wheel and Deal">
Chance: Whoa, dude. He's so excited, it looks like he hasn't visited the litterbox in a week!
Jake: <to Jonny> Dude, did you just rob a bank!
Jonny K.: Nope. I just came back from playing "Wheel and Deal," and I hit the jackpot!
Jake: Looks like you'll be paying a ton of taxes.
Jonny K.: I work for the news crew. I don't have to pay taxes. (from Who Me, Jealous?)
- Razor: We'll guard your tail. Hard Drive is back in town, and we don't want Ann to be captured, much less Callie.
Fango: Callie? Well, aye-aye, captain!
Jonny K.: "Aye-aye, captain?" Fango, pirates are dead. Dead, dead, dead! (from Perilous Perils of Hard Drive)
- Fango: I'm so happy I could do the twist.
Jonny K.: Yeah. Really? (from The Joker's Insanity)
- Jonny K.: Don't worry; it's only a spider!
Al: Only a spider? That's like saying, "Oh, it's only Dr. Eggman!" (from Attack of the Dragon Bugs)
- Holy Toledo! That's one huge giant water jug! (from The Return of Mulitor)
- Fango: Look. I'm on an assignment. I need information.
Al: What do they want to know?
Fango: Oh, uh, the Enforcers are asking to me to ask you what your salary is, but only because Dark Kat got into your bank account.
Al: Do they want net or gross?
Fango: Ballpark is fine.
Al: Oh, uh, roughly $75,000 a year.
Fango: That's it? I though it would be more.
Al: It shoukdn't be. I need time to put my two cents' worth in! (from Wheel of Scandals)
- "Scaredy Kat" is the show's name, Ann. Scar-dee-kat. (from The Joker's Insanity)
- Gee, Ann sure comes up with weird combinations for that safe of hers. Whoever thought of "relaxing skin cream" as a combination? Whatever happened to good old numbers? (from Smuggler's Blues)
- Ann: If only I could get closer to the Turbokat, I could see exactly where they got that jet. Al, where do you think they got it?
Al: Nowhere. They built it with their own two hands.
Ann: That's exactly why I want proof.
Al: Hey, I'm just trying to help! If you want to investigate this your own way for the rest of your life, that's FINE with me! <stomps off in a huff> (from Al Rebels)
- Texas? I may sound like I'm a Texan, but I ain't no Texan! Okay, I am Texan by historical birth, but I have lived in this crazy town all my life!(from The Good, The Bad, and the Crikey)
- Dr. Gauntlet: Feel the presence of the one that you may call <pause> "Mr. Gloves!"
Al: Whoo-wee! That sure is one doggone rotten super name! (from Running the Gauntlet)
- Fango: You sure seem proud of your heritage.
Al: If I weren't, I wouldn't be a true Texan!6 (from Patriotic All!)
- T-Bone: He's gone to his head.
Ann: He does do his job; he just does it quickly.
<Al enters in "Lone Ranger"-style clothes>
Ann: Al, what are you doing in that get-up?
Al: Al? Al? I know no Al!
T-Bone: He's been watching way too many cowboy movies again!
Jonny K.: No kidding!
Ann: So if you aren't Al, who are you?
Al: Just call me "The Masked Stranger!"
<western music and whiplash SFX>
Razor: "The Masked Stranger?"
Ulysses: Isn't that already taken?
Felina: So why did you pick that name?
Al: What did you expect? I'm a cowboy! (from Patriotic All!)
- I'm telling you, I'm a cowboy, and I'm wanted, dead or alive! (from Patriotic All!)
- Allan: Mayor, is it true that the evil schemes have been put to an end?
Mayor Manx: Absolutely! Let me show you where he is! (from The Giant Bacteria)
- Madkat: Ah, if it isn't the king.
Mayor Manx: I swear, I am Irish! I am not the king of ancient Gaul or something! (from Enter the Madkat)
- Eat, drink, and be Irish. That's what my father used to say to me! (from Liar's Club Meets Manx's Reputation)
- I am so glad to see Steele be expelled. He was a threat to Feral more than anyone else, half the time, if I do say so myself, and I do! (from Steele Gets Fired)
- Ann: Mayor, what do you have to say on the expellations of Steele?
Mayor Manx: Steele, schemile! I could care less! (from Steele Gets Fired)
- You want me to play the piano? I can play that. I'm Irish! (from Grimalken Rocks the Night Away)
- Mayor Manx: Who's that down there?
Callie: Those so-called "Krieglandonians" have arrived, Mayor.
Mayor Manx: Well, I'll be! (from The Coming of Kriegland, a fanfic by Nathan Stanley)
- Mayor Manx: Only one group of evils could be responsible for such a diabolical plot.
<they are unaware that a henchman is hiding under Callie's desk.
Henchman: Professor Inzeropority! Ha, ha! <snaps to his senses> Oopsie!
Mayor Manx: Precisely! (from Attack of the Dino Mites)
- Dark Kat: Now you are my prisoner, and you must tell me where I can find that source of information your deputy is hiding.
Mayor Manx: She didn't take it.
Dark Kat: Oh? Then who did?
Mayor Manx: Tiger Conklin did, but he's dead.
Dark Kat: Oh. I still am holding you prisoner, however.
Mayor Manx: And it won't be long before your death day comes! (from The Merciless Ways of Dark Kat)
- Mayor Manx: I will never forget my great-great-grandfather, the Blue Manx.
Jake: Who was he?
Mayor Manx: He shot down the Red Lynx in Megawar II.9 (from Liar's Club Meets Manx's Reputation)
- Mulitor: Ack! It's you Megakat City katizens again!
Mayor Manx: Isn't it almost always? (from The Night Shift)
Deputy Mayor Calico "Callie" Briggs
- In case of emergency, all I have to do is press the button. (from The Return of Hard Drive)
- Dr. N. Zyme: Can you come in the morning, then?
Mayor Manx: I usually golf on Saturdays, but I will come. And I'll bring Deputy Mayor Briggs with me! See you then! <hangs phone up>
Callie: Oh! And Saturday is my day to sleep in! (from The Origin of Dr. Viper)
- With all do respect, Commander Feral, without the SWAT Kats, you are nothing more than a scrap of paper! (from The Metallkats)
- Abby: Good heavens! One of the exhibits has fallen!
<cat zombie appears>
Callie: One of the exhibits is alive! (from The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice)
- Abby: I guess the Tome of Time will never make it to the Museum of History. But at least we don't have to worry about the Pastmaster anymore.
Callie: Nope. Thanks to the SWAT Kats! (from The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice)
- <To the Pastmaster> I woundn't marry you if you were the last man on earth! (from Partners in Time)
- It's the Pastmaster! (from The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice)
- Ulysses: As much as you love the SWAT Kats, you are terribly mistaken. They cause more trouble than they stop. They are lawbreakers, for it is illegal to take the law into your own hands. So do not be troubled.
Ann: Deputy Mayor Briggs, do you have anything to say to that?
Callie: With all do respect, Commander Feral, the SWAT Kats are the reasons these villains are failing to succeed. Your team is vastly underequipped. Not to mention your tendency to do everything by the book!
Ulysses: There's a reason I do it that way!
Callie: Bottom line: without the SWAT Kats, you are nothing more than a scrap of paper! <crowd cheers> (from The Metallikats)
- Ulysses: So you actually believe that mistake about the SWAT Kats being heroes?
Callie: You're the one who is mistaken, Feral! Your narrow mind has made you the most hated kat in Megakat City! (from Feral Almost Dies)
- Mayor Manx: Should I call the SWAT Kats?
Callie: You had better call them, or you are going to henceforth and forthwith be heralded mayor of "Mutation City!" (from Mutation City)
- Ah, the mamsy-pamsy pleasentries golf has to offer! That's the mayor's opinion, anyway.(from The Golf Tournament)
- <The group is at a Mexican restaurant discussing an accidental activation of the hot-line Callie uses>
Razor: We were sent to make sure everything was okay, even though it was a false alarm.
Callie: Sorry about that.
Mayor Manx: That's okay. I have a golf game tomorrow anyway. I was asked to gold with Leo Conroy.
T-Bone: Is he good?
Mayor Manx: He's better than my best.
Callie: What is that?
Mayor Manx: In the last nine holes of golf he shot, he shot 32, including 4 birdies.
Razor: That's remarkable golfing!
Mayor Manx: Yes, it is. I just wish I hadn't got a duckie the last time I played.
T-Bone: Don't you mean bogey?
Mayor Manx: No, duckie. The ball hit a duck, and boy, was he mad.
Callie: Well, I am just happy you got out of it alive! These ducks are mean! (from Recollections)
- Thanks, Fuzzy. Hey, nice jacket! Of course, if it were any louder, I'd be deaf right now! (from Enter the Madkat)
- Fuzzy: Huh?
David: Fuzzy, is this another one of your jokes? (from Enter the Madkat)
- I've got a hankerin' for some SWAT Kat spankerin'. (from The Joker's Insanity)
- I tell you, folks, when I went to the Megakat Hotel to do a promo, I never thought it was that crazy. Did you see that pool table they had in the men's room? I was so stunned, I realized why everyone was having trouble getting it to flush: Number 2 in the corner pocket!2 (from Spoofs Night)
- Madkat: Well, if it isn't the old jester that replaced me in this here kingdom.
David: Do I look like a jester to you?! And besides, you are 785 years off, pal! (from Return of the Madkat)
- Dark Kat: Please, Mr. Litterbin, don't cook my belongings! I beg you, please!
David: What? I don't want any wines for dinner! I don't even drink! (from Dark Kat and the Joker)
- Felina: Using my pocket-sized version of the Rosetta Stone, I will now translate: "The Sexton is high. The Sexton is blue. If you don't like the lampchops, then eat bamboo."
David: Sounds like an advertisement for a fast-food company!
Felina: Don't be ridiculous, comedian! The people of the Dark Ages didn't have fast food!
David: What a miserable life. No double cheeseburgers! (from Viper Wants His Mummy)
- Felina: Hey, Jonny! Where are you going?
David: He's following that strange sound. (from Viper Wants His Mummy)
- Felina: Are we going to let these mummies get away with this?
Jonny K.: Not without a fight.
David: We'll tear them apart!
<they are unaware that a mummy popped up behind them>
Mummy: Uh, boo!
David: Did you say "boo," Lieutenant?
Felina: Not me.
Jonny K.: Me neither!
David: Then the last one to the Sexton is an alligator! <they run off> (from Viper Wants His Mummy)
- Stress burger with a side of groans, Fuzzy. (from Joker! Joker! Joker!)
- Only $5,000? I would have wanted €5,000 if I didn't know better. (from The Gerald Conspiracy)
- Fuzzy: Hey, David. I got a letter saying that we are getting 100 Brazillian troops to help us in the war.
David: That's great, Fuzzy, but how much is a brazillion? (from Spoofs Night)
- Jake: I have always been one of your biggest fans.
David: You're a fan? Where is the button that turns you on and off? (from Razor's Autograph)
- Do any of you darn kats remember sine, cosine, and tangent? I hated that. I just wish someone would have said to me, "Next time someone asks you to cosine, don't sine and get him off on a tangent! That would have saved me $50,000! (from The Joker's Insanity)
- Fango: I just can't believe an ostrich has eyes bigger than its brain!
David: That's what you call a birdbrain, Fango! (from Spoofs Night)
- Why do women go to the bathroom in groups? They love socializing, especially in the bathroom. "Oh, beautiful shoes! Where'd ya get those?" If men tried that, they'd be fighting with one another! (from Spoofs Night)
- David: What is blue to a male kat?
Fuzzy: Uh, blue?
David: Exactly, but to all you females out there, this is royal, this is navy, and this is baby!
Fuzzy: I thought they did that to red.
David: They do it to all colors, Fuzzy. This is scarlet, this is crimson, this is olive green, this is forest, this is emerald, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada! (from The Joker's Insanity)
- I tell you, I have never seen anything so important as your idea of a Project Exile. (from Feral Almost Dies)
- Al: Do you expect me to believe that?
Fango: No. You're the one who is hung up on yourself. I wouldn't pay you $10,000 just for your court case. I wouldn't even pay you €10,000! But of course, this ain't Europe. (from Al Rebels)
- Drum roll, please! (from Fango's Talent Show)
- I wouldn't tell you anything if you thought I was still smuggling catnip, Feral. (from Return of the Metallikats)
- Grimalken: We are forming a rock band, and we're in need of a new drummer.
Fango: Count me in! I played the drums in high school, so this shouldn't be a problem.
Grimalken: Welcome aboard then, Fango! You're going to be a big help!
Fango: More help than you know! (from Grimalken Rocks the Night Away)
- Callie: So, what is the difference between Dark Kat's schemes and the plot Madkat copied?
Fuzzy: Okay. I give up. What is the difference between Dark Kat's schemes and the plot Madkat copied?
Fango: It's not a joke, Fuzzy! (from The Joker's Insanity)
- Madkat: As someone we all know says, "This is a complain burger with a side of groans!"
Fango: It is not, you dingbat! (from The Return of Madkat)
- <Fango is trying on clothing>
Jake: Well, how do you look?
Fango: Formal. I look like Leo Conroy8 if you ask me, just without the baton. (from The Fango Variety Hour)
- As my old uncle Frank used to say, "Catnip smugglers come and catnip smugglers go, but cats who report crimes to the cops live on in history forever!" (from Fango's Glory)
- Ulysses: Do you SWAT Kats have any idea as to why Dark Kat proposed the tabloid?
T-Bone: No doubt about it, Dark Kat will do anything to take over this city.
Fango: <aside> I knew he'd say that! (from The Tabloid Affair)
- Hey, I think I hit baby! (from The Night Shift)
- Jonny K.: What are you doing here?
Fango: Making money. What are you doing? Panhandling the better neighborhood?
Jonny K.: No.
Fango: I didn't think so.
Jonny K.: I was just asking why you are making money.
Fango: That's funny, just like your clothing!
Jonny K.: Still jealous of the great ones, eh?
Fango: Great ones? How much talent does it take to do camera work for Ann Gora?
Jonny K.: Look who's talking! The poster cat for the famous writing school!
Fango: What do you know about writing? Writing takes skill!
Jonny K.: And don't you wish you had some?
Fango: I do wish I had some, thank you very much! (from The Night Shift)
- 1. She is quoting ABBA's 1974 hit, The Name of the Game. The Enforcers (meaning the rock band) do many parodies and impersonations.
- 2. David is making a reference to the jokes of Russian comedian Yakov Smirnov.
- 3. Dr. Viper speaks with a hiss, so any word with an "S" comes with with multiple S's. Example: "hiss" would be written as "hissssssssssssssss."
- 4. The phrase "one bourbon, one scotch, one beer," comes from a 1970s rock song by the same name.
- 5. This is almost ironic in a way, because if Al had not been hypontized, he would not have been obedient to Dark Kat's desires.
- 6. Megakat City is generally assummed to be in a state such as Kansas, which explains why Al often quotes his Texan pride. In Nathan Stanley's fanfics, Megakat City and Wildcat City are shown to be neighbors.
- 7. Ann is trying to compare dollars to pounds and euros.
- 8. Leo Conroy is the cat world's equivalent to real life bandleader Lawrence Welk.
- 9. Megawar II to the cat world is World War II to planet Earth.
- 10. ABBA's 1970s hit, Money, Money, Money.
- 11. Patton Marshalwhopper is a parody of Arnold Schwarzenegger.