Sam Levenson

From Quotes
When one subtracts from life infancy (which is vegetation), sleep, eating and swilling, buttoning and unbuttoning—how much remains of downright existence? The summer of a dormouse.
Lord Byron
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Sam Levenson (December 28, 1911-August 27, 1980), American humorist, writer, and journalist.


  • It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
  • If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.
  • It's not the sugar that makes the tea sweet, but the stirring.
  • Any kid who has two parents who are interested in him and has a houseful of books isn't poor.
  • Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.
  • Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
  • You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.
  • What we should have fought for was representation without taxation.
  • Any beast can cry over the misfortunes of its own child. It takes a mensch to weep for others' children.
  • If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
  • I'm going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!
  • The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
  • It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm!!
  • I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?
  • Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.
  • Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.
  • If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.
  • It's a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn't consult a decorator or he would still be picking colors.
  • Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it
  • One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts get in the way of your imagination.
  • The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.
  • We should not permit prayer to be taken out of the schools; that's the only way most of us got through.
  • When I was a boy I used to do what my father wanted. Now I have to do what my boy wants. My problem is: When am I going to do what I want?

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