Samurai Pizza Cats

From Quotes
Whenever I hear people talking about liberal ideas, I am always astounded that men should love to fool themselves with empty sounds. An idea should never be liberal; it must be vigorous, positive, and without loose ends so that it may fulfill its divine mission and be productive. The proper place for liberality is in the realm of the emotions.
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
Jump to: navigation, search

Speedy Cerviche

  • Ever had one of those days when you just want to go back to bed?
  • The pussy is the cat's meow.
  • Wanna hear my Clint Eastwood?, "Make my day"
  • Okay, get camera three in place for the Ginsu Sword sequence. Let's have a big finish!

Guido Anchovy

  • On the other hand, there could be a monster, or mutants, or UFOs! This is a cartoon, those writers can do whatever they want!
  • Maybe in one of my nine lives I'll be smart enough to figure out why you're crying about this, but I haven't got the time, uh-uh-uh, got to be off with the pizza. Pie, I mean bye!
  • Hey guys, there's only one ticket left for the 'Iron Butterly' concert and you're going to have to fight for it.

Polly Esther

  • Who comes up with any of those lines?
  • [to Bad Bird] We have fanclubs all over the world. And our toys out sell yours 2 to 1.


  • And so, we come to the end of another adventure with our heroes: Speedy, Polly and Guido, but they'll be back for another episode, unless of course they get a better offer from another producer.
  • Even though it was Spritz The Cat who defeated the robots and saved the day, Speedy's the hero who negotiated the lucrative merchandising deal for the Pizza Cats Running Shoes, T-Shirts, Lunchboxes and Executive Desk Sets. So we have a contractual commitment to make a big fuzz over him like this in every episode. Bear with us, folks, it's big business...
  • Is this the end of the Pizza Cats? After only seven episodes?
  • This sudden explosion of sudden special effects can only mean one thing, it's...The Ginsu Sword cuts the Cheese once again! Who writes this stuff?

The Big Cheese

  • Darn Pizza Cats!!! That's NOT fair! NOT fair! (explodes, as per almost every episode)
  • This wasn't in the script. I want my stunt double, and I want him now!

Mojo Rojo

Jerry Atrick

  • Calm down, Mr. Cheese! Calm down!
  • (after the cats have broken into Big Cheese's vault)Oh no! Someone has broken into the vault! I hope they don't scratch my "Lovin' Spoonfull" albums.

Bat Cat

  • [After catching Speedy who was thrown out the palace window] Friday night for poker as usual?

Carla Crow


the cat I love would enjoy the simpler things in life. He'd rather have a picnic with ME then rush off to save the world.

Francine & Parmesan

Francine: "All systems go and ready for launch" Guido: "But I already ate." Francine: "Launch not lunch.....silly..."

Princess Violet

  • Send them to Extras Island!

Spritz T. Cat

  • This should dampen their spirits!

Guru Lou

  • Read my eyelids: NO NEW ROBOTS!

Meowzma O'Toole

  • Stand back everyone I need a........soil sample...

General Catton

  • What'll it be? you give up or do I bomb you back into the stone age?

Bad Bird

  • (who has just found out that Big Cheese didn't mean a nuclear potato)Shooks... It wasn't a nuclear, it was just a common tater
  • Now you know what it's like to live in Quebec. Perhaps now you'll learn to speak au français. Give us the secret, or you'll be eating crêpes, pal!


  • I heard him scream last night and it was horrible. I wish he wouldn't do that when he gets kidnapped.
  • This is hotter then a stolen Subaru!


Main Title Song

  • Narrator: (spoken)Will somebody PLEASE cue that bird?
    Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats (Oh yeah)
    Narrator: Who do you call when you want some pepperoni?
    Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats (Right on)
    Narrator: They're stampin' out crime and you know that ain't baloney.
    There's Speedy Cerviche and he's the leader of the bunch.
    Chorus: That's right
    Narrator: A heck of a fighter (Whoa!)
    Makes a heck of a lunch
    And little Polly Esther who's never afraid (That's me)
    Of going into battle when the bad guys invade
    There's Guido Anchovy
    A wild romantic lover
    The cat gets down, down with a love-hangover
    Chorus: Here Come the Pizza Cats
    Narrator: They're so bad
    They've got more fur than any turtle ever had.
    Chorus: Stronger than old cheese (Stronger than old cheese)
    Chorus: Stronger than dirt (Stronger than dirt)
    Chorus: Step on their tails (Polly meows)
    Chorus: Then you're gonna get hurt (Don't hurt me, please!)
    Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats
    Narrator: They're fightin crime
    Chorus: All over town
    Chorus: 3, 2, 1. Pizza Cats are on the run
    Narrator: The Big Cheese is the villan, who's lower than low
    It's a rotten shame he lives in Little Tokyo
    He's got a nasty temper and some nasty Ninja Crows
    As soon as someone finds the script, we might begin the show
    Sit right back, pick up a seat and turn the sound up high
    And if you want the full effect, go eat a pizza-pie!
    Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats (narrator laughs as Speedy falls into the sea)

End Title Song

  • Narrator: Ladies and Gentleman! The Samurai Pizza Cats Fan Club Oath!
    The Big Cheese: The Pizza Cats are Samurais and I'd like to note.
    Jerry Atric: Their antics take your breath away!
    The Big Cheese: Like furballs in your throat.
    Speedy: We kittens are a special breed. We never call retreat
    Guido: Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down
    Polly: We land upon (blows a kiss) our feet!
    Narrator: So hail to thee, O Pizza Cat! Please ring your little bell! (Speedy rings his collar bell)
    Although you may be pen and ink, we know you'll fight like...
    All: PIZZA CATS!
    (song starts)
    Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats
    Narrator: We hope you liked the show, it's the best that we could do
    Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats.
    Narrator: If you could do better, then we'd leave it up to you.
    Just a reminder that you might like to know
    The Cats will be back for another big show! (laughs) Oh gosh!
    Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats
    Narrator: They're fighting crime. Oh Yes!
    Chorus: All over town.
    2, 4, 6, 8!
    Why do we exaggerate?
    Samurai Pizza Cats
    Narrator: Read all the credits, so you know who did the work
    Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats (crowd cheers)