Scary Movie 4

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Scary Movie 4 is the fourth film of the Scary Movie franchise and is directed by David Zucker, written by Jim Abrahams, Craig Mazin and Pat Proft, and produced by Craig Mazin and Robert K. Weiss. It is distributed by The Weinstein Company via its Dimension Films unit in the U.S., and internationally by Buena Vista Distribution (Miramax). It was released on April 14, 2006.



  • All I've got is my kids, and my car. They mean the world to me. (slams Rachel's head in car door.)
  • I spend every waking moment of my life operating a crane...I hate my job. (starts playing with a crane machine)


  • That's okay, I've taken balls to the face before.
  • My eyes, my eyes!
  • Okay, Mrs. Norris, time to dig out that doody bubble!
  • Thanks for helping me get that job. I was so inspired by your work with the elderly. They have so much to teach us and we have so much to teach them. I mean, ultimately they are like us..just...older.


  • Well, they don't call it churnin' where I come from!
  • What? We at peace now, I was just sealin' the deal!

Saw Puppet

  • "Zoltar, get in here! This one's gonna do it!"
  • "I'm sorry for killing millions of people. Whatever!"
  • "We are so fucked!"
  • "Nah, it's cool. She said she was a virgin."

Dr. Phil

  • I don't know! I was doing a show on teens with abandonment issues and then I blacked out and woke up here! Man, those kids are gonna be pissed!
  • I just tell people to "get real." I'm not even a doctor...I'm an electrician.


Tom: Get in the car, Marvin, or you're gonna die!

Marvin: Okay..(reaches for handle but the door is locked. looks at Tom)

Tom: Well, wait while I...(tries to unlock door but Marvin pulls handle at the same time. This happens a few times.) Don't do that.

Marvin: Come on!

Tom: Okay, on the count of three. 1..2..3 (Tom unlocks door but again Marvin pulls handle) Why would you do that? Why would you go at the same time I do? That's what all this is about!!

Marvin: Hey, you said go on three.

Tom: So, go on three!

Marvin: Wait, your three, or my three?

Tom: There's only one three! You go on four!

Marvin: So, now I gotta go on four? You're makin' the black man wait for you?!

Tom: Just go on four! One...

Marvin: No. No one. I'm out. I'll take the next one, that okay with you. (backs away)

Tom: Sheesh...attitude. (puts car in drive and leaves)

Marvin: For real...I'd rather be dead. (gets zapped by tripod.)

Shaq: He doesn't want us to cut through our chains...he wants us to cut through our feet. You first.

Dr. Phil: Bull shit!

Shaq: I guess your mama was right...maybe you're not man enough!

Dr. Phil: (looks up) NEVER!!!!! Who's the coward now, mama?! [Saws through his foot]

Shaq: Candy from a baby.

Dr. Phil: I've done it! We're saved! (holds up foot)

Shaq: Oh, my God! (points)

Dr. Phil: What's wrong?!

Shaq: Wrong foot!

Dr. Phil: (looks down) Motherfu.... (hits floor with a thud.)