André Schneider

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It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.
Don Herold
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André Schneider (born André-Marc Schneider on 10 March 1978) is an actor.

  • How can there be peace on earth when there's war in love? ("Life is a Sexually Transmitted Disease", 2004)
  • I do love my country. Germany is such a preposterous... sorry, prosperous country. Perfect social structure, spotless history, and this little creature, East Germany? Don't worry, we sucked it in and spit it out the other way. (from his one-man show "(Comedic) Appetite", October 2004)
  • I was straight until I heard Denis Leary's voice for the first time. ("Life is a Sexually Transmitted Disease", 2004)
  • At first I felt terribly sorry for Daniel because he’d lost his mother so soon, but today I finally realized: She chose to die at 28 because she saw the future and she didn’t want to go there. She didn’t want to face reality and live with the guilt to have carried this Demon seed to terms. Painful, yet obvious. She didn’t wanna deal with him, or George W., or Britney Spears. God bless her! (from his one-man show "Freaky Balls", November 2008)
  • We drove from New York to Boston, when she asked me, "Do you have enough gas?" I replied, "Honey! I'm from Germany, we have a long history with gas." (from his one-man show "Freaky Balls", November 2008)

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