The sublimity of wisdom is to do those things living that are desired when dying.Source Unknown
- A bit of advice: never read a pop-up book about giraffes.
- If you can't masturbate to it, it's art.
- On the art vs pornography debate
- If you permed a fox I think it'd look a bit like Mick Hucknall. I actually think it'd be kinder to perm them than hunt them. And they'd be too embarrassed to go out and bother the sheep.
- In 1926 the Queen Mother laid the first block of stone in our tenement. After a month or so the Council realised she was going to take forever so they had to let her go and get the builders in.
- It's a statistical fact that you're more likely to crawl over a council tip and find a magic fridge.
- On the chances of winning the lottery
- The hardest job I ever had was doing the horoscopes for the Big Issue.
- They say a woman's work is never done, maybe that's why they get paid less.
- Interesting fact: a shark will only attack you if you're wet.