Shoot 'Em Up

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Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. [I Corinthians]
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Shoot 'em Up is a 2007 action/dark comedy film starring Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti, and Monica Bellucci. It follows the exploits of a man known only as Smith (Owen) as he protects a baby and a prostitute, Donna Quintano (DQ) (Bellucci) from Karl Hertz (Giamatti), a hitman who is assigned to kill the baby for political reasons.

Karl Hertz

  • Guns don't kill people, but they sure help.
  • Do we really suck, or is this guy really that good?!


  • Fuck you, ya fucking fuckers.
  • After ramming a carrot through the back of a guy's head: Eat your vegetables.
  • This is an M-24 tank. You'll be safe from gunfire and most explosives.
  • Teaching Oliver about guns: This is the business end. You should never point this at anything you don't intend to kill.
  • You didn't know about my Nobel Prize?


DQ: We have to find a name for this baby.

Smith: How about Oliver? Like Oliver Twist.

DQ: Because he's an orphan?

Smith: Because I liked the book.

DQ: You liked the book?

Smith: I didn't hate it.

DQ: That's a first.

DQ: Why don't you take this baby to the police?

Smith: I can't go to the police.

DQ: Why not?

Smith: I'm the Unabomber.

DQ: They caught the Unabomber.

Smith: That's what they think.

After a bloody gun battle, Smith and DQ are walking through the streets

DQ: (Ranting at Smith in Italian)

Smith: I don't understand a word, but I know exactly what you're saying and I refuse to apologize.

Hammerson: You know, Hertz, people love guns because America is a land of opportunity where a poor man can become rich and a pussy can become a tough guy, if he's got a gun in his hand. Now, I'm hopin' you're not just a pussy with a gun in your hand.

Hertz: Oh no, sir, no I am not. No, I'm a tough guy with a pussy in my hand.

Smith: Want to know the difference between this luxury car and a porcupine?

DQ: I give up.

Smith: With the car, the pricks are on the inside.

DQ: Tell me about it.