Shoot 'Em Up
- Guns don't kill people, but they sure help.
- Do we really suck, or is this guy really that good?!
- Fuck you, ya fucking fuckers.
- After ramming a carrot through the back of a guy's head: Eat your vegetables.
- This is an M-24 tank. You'll be safe from gunfire and most explosives.
- Teaching Oliver about guns: This is the business end. You should never point this at anything you don't intend to kill.
- You didn't know about my Nobel Prize?
DQ: We have to find a name for this baby.
Smith: How about Oliver? Like Oliver Twist.
DQ: Because he's an orphan?
Smith: Because I liked the book.
DQ: You liked the book?
Smith: I didn't hate it.
DQ: That's a first.
DQ: Why don't you take this baby to the police?
Smith: I can't go to the police.
DQ: Why not?
Smith: I'm the Unabomber.
DQ: They caught the Unabomber.
Smith: That's what they think.
After a bloody gun battle, Smith and DQ are walking through the streets
DQ: (Ranting at Smith in Italian)
Smith: I don't understand a word, but I know exactly what you're saying and I refuse to apologize.
Hammerson: You know, Hertz, people love guns because America is a land of opportunity where a poor man can become rich and a pussy can become a tough guy, if he's got a gun in his hand. Now, I'm hopin' you're not just a pussy with a gun in your hand.
Hertz: Oh no, sir, no I am not. No, I'm a tough guy with a pussy in my hand.
Smith: Want to know the difference between this luxury car and a porcupine?
DQ: I give up.
Smith: With the car, the pricks are on the inside.
DQ: Tell me about it.