Family Guy

From Quotes
Happiness is a sunbeam which may pass through a thousand bosoms without losing a particle of its original ray; nay, when it strikes on a kindred heart, like the converged light on a mirror, it reflects itself with redoubled brightness. It is not perfected till it is shared.
Jane Porter
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Family Guy is an animated television series created by Seth MacFarlane for FOX in 1999. The show was cancelled in 2002, but after extremely positive response to DVDs and reruns on Adult Swim, production of new episodes for FOX resumed in 2005.

Please read Family Guy/Format for notes on how to use and edit this article.

The border colors for the episodes correspond to the DVD Volume in which they appear. Those episodes in bold and italics are also part of the Freakin' Sweet Collection.

Gold represents Volume 1
Turquoise represents Volume 2
Orange represents Volume 3
Green represents Volume 4
Red represents Volume 5
Blue represents Volume 6
Black represents individual releases


Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4
[1.01] Death Has a Shadow [2.01] Peter, Peter, Caviar Eater [3.01] The Thin White Line [4.01] North by North Quahog
[1.02] I Never Met the Dead Man [2.02] Holy Crap [3.02] Brian Does Hollywood [4.02] Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High
[1.03] Chitty Chitty Death Bang [2.03] Da Boom [3.03] Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington [4.03] Blind Ambition
[1.04] Mind Over Murder [2.04] Brian in Love [3.04] One If By Clam, Two If By Sea [4.04] Don't Make Me Over
[1.05] A Hero Sits Next Door [2.05] Love Thy Trophy [3.05] And the Wiener is... [4.05] The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire
[1.06] The Son Also Draws [2.06] Death is a Bitch [3.06] Death Lives [4.06] Petarded
[1.07] Brian: Portrait of a Dog [2.07] The King is Dead [3.07] Lethal Weapons [4.07] Brian the Bachelor
[2.08] I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar [3.08] The Kiss Seen Around the World [4.08] 8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter
[2.09] If I'm Dyin', I'm Lyin' [3.09] Mr. Saturday Knight [4.09] Breaking Out Is Hard to Do
[2.10] Running Mates [3.10] Emission Impossible [4.10] Model Misbehavior
[2.11] A Picture is Worth A 1000 Bucks [3.11] To Love and Die in Dixie [4.11] Peter's Got Woods
[2.12] Fifteen Minutes of Shame [3.12] A Fish Out of Water [4.12] The Perfect Castaway
[2.13] Road to Rhode Island [3.13] Screwed the Pooch [4.13] Jungle Love
[2.14] Let's Go To The Hop [3.14] Peter Griffin: Husband, Father...Brother? [4.14] PTV
[2.15] Dammit Janet [3.15] Ready, Willing, and Disabled [4.15] Brian Goes Back To College
[2.16] There's Something About Paulie [3.16] A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas [4.16] The Courtship of Stewie's Father
[2.17] He's Too Sexy For His Fat [3.17] Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows [4.17] The Fat Guy Strangler
[2.18] E. Peterbus Unum [3.18] From Method to Madness [4.18] The Father, the Son, and the Holy Fonz
[2.19] The Story on Page One [3.19] Stuck Together, Torn Apart [4.19] Brian Sings and Swings
[2.20] Wasted Talent [3.20] Road to Europe [4.20] Patriot Games
[2.21] Fore Father [3.21] Family Guy Viewer Mail #1 [4.21] I Take Thee Quagmire
[3.22] When You Wish Upon a Weinstein [4.22] Sibling Rivalry
[4.23] Deep Throats
[4.24] Peterotica
[4.25] You May Now Kiss The...Uh...Guy Who Receives
[4.26] Petergeist
[4.27] Untitled Griffin Family History
Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story
Season 5 Season 6 Season 7
[5.01] Stewie Loves Lois [6.01] Blue Harvest [7.01] Love Blactually
[5.02] Mother Tucker [6.02] Movin' Out (Brian's Song) [7.02] I Dream of Jesus
[5.03] Hell Comes to Quahog [6.03] Believe It or Not, Joe's Walking on Air [7.03] Road to Germany
[5.04] Saving Private Brian [6.04.1] 100th Episode Celebration [7.04] Baby Not On Board
[5.05] Whistle While Your Wife Works [6.04.2] Stewie Kills Lois [7.05] The Man with Two Brians
[5.06] Prick Up Your Ears [6.05] Lois Kills Stewie [7.06] Tales of a Third Grade Nothing
[5.07] Chick Cancer [6.06] Padre de Familia
[5.08] Barely Legal [6.07] Peter's Daughter
[5.09] Road to Rupert [6.08] McStroke
[5.10] Peter's Two Dads [6.09] Back to the Woods
[5.11] The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou [6.10] Play it Again Brian
[5.12] Airport '07 [6.11] The Former Life of Brian
[5.13] Bill and Peter's Bogus Journey [6.12] Long John Peter
[5.14] No Meals on Wheels
[5.15] Boys Do Cry
[5.16] No Chris Left Behind
[5.17] It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One
[5.18] Meet the Quagmires

Catchphrases

Glenn Quagmire: Alllllll riiight!

Glenn Quagmire: Giggity giggity goo!

Ollie Williams: It's gon' rain!

Glenn Quagmire: Oh!

Cleveland Brown: Oh, that's nasty!

Joe Swanson: LET'S DO IT!!

Stewie Griffin: What the deuce?

Stewie Griffin: Damn you all!

Stewie Griffin: Victory is mine!

Stewie Griffin: Silence!

Stewie Griffin: Blast!

Stewie Griffin: Damn you, vile woman!

Stewie Griffin: I shall kill you!

Stewie Griffin: I say, fat man!

Brian Griffin: Whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?

Peter Griffin: You bastard.

Peter Griffin: Freakin' sweet!

Peter Griffin: Oh, crap!!

Peter Griffin: Hehehehehehehehehe...

Peter Griffin: That's a great idea [Lois]!

Herbert the old man: [after he see something he likes] Mmmmm...

Herbert the old man: [usually to Chris Griffin and under his breath] Get your [fat, space, etc.] ass back here.

Lois Griffin: Chris, that's a terrible word! [the word].

Stewie Griffin: Damn you vile woman you have impeded on my work since the day I escaped your wretched womb!

Season 1

Season 2

Season 3

Season 4

Season 5

Season 6

Dialogue

Something, Something, Something, Dark Side quotes

The following quotes are from Something, Something, Something, Dark Side, the second Star Wars spoof from Family Guy, due to air late 2008-early 2010. The following quotes are from the hidden table read easter-egg from the Blue Harvest DVD. Please note that these quotes are from the first draft of the script, meaning that it is likely that these will be edited or removed.


Leia/Lois: We need you.
Han/Peter: Oh really? "We" or "I"?
Leia/Lois: [nervously] What do you mean?
Han/Peter: You don't want me to leave because of the way you feel about me, huh?
Leia/Lois: [nervously] Oh, you're imagining...
Han/Peter: [higher] Huh?
Leia/Lois: [agitated] There's no way...
Han/Peter: [even higher] Huh?
Leia/Lois: [agitated] If you think...!
Han/Peter: [even higher still] Huh?!
Leia/Lois: How could you even...!
Han/Peter: [really, really high] Huh?! [normal voice] **Oh, I should've started lower.** Anyway, I bet you're afraid I'm gonna leave without giving you a good bye kiss.
Leia/Lois: Eh, I'd rather kiss George Takei.
[adjust (???) to reveal George Takei]
George Takei: Hello.
**Might have been Seth MacFarlane, not specifically Peter, stating that he started too high.**

[Han (Peter) turns to Leia (Lois)]
Han/Peter: Well, Your Clitorisness, it looks like you've managed to keep me around a little longer.
Leia/Lois: I assure you, I had nothing to do with it.
Han/Peter: Yeah right. I think you just can't stand to let a fat guy like me out of your sights.
Leia/Lois: [agitated] Why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-lookin' nerf-herder!
[Han (Peter) hits Leia (Lois) as hard as he can]
Han/Peter: You can't use that word! Only we can use that word!
Leia/Lois: You think you're hot shit but you're really cold piss.
[Leia (Lois) crosses over and kisses Luke (Chris) on the mouth. During the kiss, she opens her eyes and slowly backs away]
Leia/Lois: [stunned] I-I-I don't know what it is, but when I kiss you, i-it's like kissing my brother.
Luke/Chris: Well look, even if we're related... I-I'm-I'm from a foreign planet so it's okay.

[Princess Leia (Lois) is addressing a group of rebel pilots]
Leia/Lois: May I have everyone's attention please? We're evacuating into outer space with literally infinite directions in which to flee. However, we have decided that our transports will travel directly towards the fleet of Star Destroyers. Any questions?
Rebel 1: Yeah, um, is there someone from the military we can talk to, a man perhaps?

[Cut along to Luke getting into his Snowspeeder]
Dak: Feeling okay sir?
Luke/Chris: Just like new! How 'bout you, Dak?
Dak: I feel like I can take on the whole Empire myself!
[Luke (Chris) stops]
Luke/Chris: Really? 'Cause... 'Cause that'd be awesome! [shouting] Hey everyone, Dak says he's got this one!
[the rebels all cheer and start landing their speeders]
Dak: You know it bitches!
[Dak takes off. In space, Dak flies up to the planet and stops, facing the Imperial Fleet]
Dak: Hey Imperial Fleet, get ready to suck some Dak!
[In the Star Destroyer, two Imperial officers watch in the command center as Dak's ship approaches]
Officer 1: That guy seems pretty fired up.
Officer 2: Should we turn around?
Officer 1: ...Maybe we should shoot him first, and if that doesn't work, we'll take off.
[they shoot one laser blast at him, blowing him up. Back on Hoth, there is an ominous silence as the rebel defence forces wait for the approach of the Imperial troops]

Cast

See also

External links

Wikipedia
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