Super Troopers is a 2002 comedy film about bored highway patrol officers in a remote part of Vermont.
- Written and directed by Broken Lizard.
- YOU BOYS LIKE MEX-E-CO?!?! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
- (Cross-eyed and with slight lisp) Do we look like the two dumbest guys in the world to you? Is that why you treat us with such disrespect?
- GOOD ENOUGH TO FUCK YOUR MOTHER!!!!!!!!
- You're gonna feel a little pinch
- Three... Two... One... Do It
- Evil Shenanigans (in high squeaky voice with hand motions)
- I guess that's it for the old locker. She stinks like ass but I'll still miss her. I guess you could say that about all my girls.
- How's it going Denim Dan? You look like the president, chairman, and CEO of Levi Straus. Hey where'd you get the Canadian tuxedo?
- License and registration ... CHICKEN FUCKER!
- Stop calling me radio, unit 91!
- Who wants cream? Anybody? Ok, no cream
- WAIT, that one is Rabbit's. (Rabbit replies: Oh look, a bar of soap.) oh shit, I got you good you fucker!
- I'm all highway!
- No, its powdered sugar................Its delicious!
- Does that look like spit to you? Ah, fuck it!
- Can I get a liter o' cola?
- Liter is French for give me some fuckin' cola or I'll break vous fuckin' lips!!!!
- I don't want a large Farva. I want a goddamn liter o' cola!
- [when he pulls the sweepstakes ticket off of his cup and finds a hole] Dammit, you burger punk! You son of a bitch!
- I just lost a buck...to myself!
- What the crap, how come nobody called me?
- But, Chief, you know I'm not a pro-union guy.
- THAT'S MY CAR! THAT'S MY GIRL!
- Hey there Charlie's Angel.
- Hey there, dirty dogs! Did I miss the song? Sing it again, rookie biotch!!
- What size cells are these? Eight by eight? Ours are nine by nine... no big deal.
- You killed my dummy.
- It might have been my sixth, or even my seventh sense.
- You are freakin' out....man.
- I . . . guess I'll go take a shower then . . .
- [After Thorny says, "You smell somethin', Rabbit?"] *Sniffs* Fear.
- What, are you gonna light my ass on fire?
- (slow voice) Mother of God.
- Who wants a moustache ride?
- I am all that is MAN!
- OH, this little guy? I wouldn't worry about this little guy.
- It stinks like sex in here
- Where you boys heading.....Canada Eh....Almost made it
- What? They can't lump us in with that fuckin' Martian.
- I swear to God, I'll pistol whip the next guy who says shenaningans!
- These boys get that syrup in 'em, they get all antsy in their pantsy.
- I'll believe ya when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet.
- That's it, you're off the road, never again. [Sir, it was not my fault!] And neither was the God-damn school bus! There was a time when we'd take a guy like you out back and beat you with a hose. Now you've got your God-damned unions.
- Drunk enough to kick your ass!
- Rabbit: Oh look, a bar of soap.
- Farva: Oh ho ho, Shit I got you good you fucker!
- Mac:(with mocking voice and fake lisp) Awesome prank Farva.
- Foster: Aw, Mac, you fucker!
- Mac: Gree-tings. (Laughs) You guys are too slow.
- Foster: You killed my dummy.
- Thorny: Mac, now I'm going to pay you. But I shouldn't, 'cause I knew it was you the whole time.
- Mac: Aw, Thorny, don't lie in front of the rookie. It sets a bad example.
- Thorny: Foster, where are your shoes?
- Foster: What, are you the shoe police now?
- Thorny: I am, and you owe me 20 laps around the bar. Lets go.
- Foster: Your black magic only works on the rookie.
- Thorny: That's brown magic.
- O'Hagen: I just got off the phone with Tom McCardle From the budget committee. This thing with Farva screwed our pooch.
- Thorny: What? They can't lump us in with that fuckin' Martian.
- O'Hagen: We're all in the same boat, fellas.
- Mac: But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun.
- Thorny: Yeah, his shenanigans are cruel and tragic.
- Foster: Which wouldn't make them shenanigans, at all, really.
- Mac: (Irish voice) Evil shenanigans!
- O'Hagen: I swear to God, I'll pistol whip the next guy that says 'shenanigans!'
- Mac: Hey Farva, what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?
- Farva: You mean Shenanigan's?
- Mac, Foster and Thorny: Oh, no! (Laughing) (Mac hands O'Hagen his gun.)
- Farva: You're talking about Shenanigan's, right?
- O'Hagen: Put those away!
- Police Chief Grady: I'm sorry about that delousing. Just standard procedure.
- Farva: It's powdered sugar.
- Police Chief Grady: The lice ... hate the sugar. So anyway ...
- Farva: [Interrupting] It's delicious.
- Mac: Come in Radio.
- Farva: Don't call me Radio, Unit 91.
- Mac: Don't call me Unit 91, Radio.
- Farva: ...Are we done?
- Mac: Yeah okay Radio. We got a suspicious vehicle, White Caprice, Vermont Plates, Tijuana, Gringo, Oner, Fiver, Zero
- Farva: Roger, checking...Unit 91 that license plate belongs to a local Spurburry police vehicle.
- Mac: It does?! OH MY GOD!!!
- Farva: ...Very funny 91.
- Thorny: Son do you know why I pulled you over?
- Driver: Uhhh...
- Thorny: Littering and... Littering and... Littering and... [the rest of the car joins in, cauisng the kid in the back to freak out from the echoes] smoking the reefer. [holds up bag of marijuana]
- Driver: Oh, officer, that's not ours.
- Kid in back: [deep groan] Candy bars.
- Thorny: Now to teach you boys a lesson, me and officer Rabbit are going to stand here while you boys smoke the whole bag.
- Kid in Back: Please, no.
- Rabbit: Please, yes.
- German Man: I'm sorry officer for the speeding violation, I'm so used to driving on the autobahn.
- German Woman: Ich finde er sieht auf Shaun Cassidy schön. [I think he looks like Shaun Cassidy.]
- German Man: Ja, das finde ich, yummi yummi. [I think so too, yummi yummi.]
- Rabbit: Do you know why I pulled you over?
- German Man: Because we were going way too fast.
- Rabbit: Ja.
- German Man: Ja. Well the thing is I cannot afford to have another ticket on mein Porsche. Is there something I could do for you, or perhaps something my wife could do? Perhaps there is something you would like to do to her?
- German Woman: Maybe some hard spanking und cuffing is in order.
- Passenger: You didn't eat both those bags did you!
- Kid in back: [mouth full of shrooms] Call Guinness!
- Farva: Give me a double bacon cheeseburger.
- Dimpus Burger Guy: [into microphone] Double baco cheeseburger. It's for a cop.
- Farva: What the hell's that all about? You gonna spit in it now?
- Dimpus Burger Guy: No, I just told him that so he makes it good. [into microphone] Don't spit in that cop's burger.
- Farva:' Yeah, thanks.
- Second Dimpus Guy: Roger, holding the spit.
- Dimpus Burger Guy Uhh, right. Beverage?
- Farva Gimme a liter o' cola
- Dimpus Burger Guy (into the mic) Liter Cola? Do we sell Liter Cola?
- Thorny: Will you just order a large, Farva.
- Farva: I don't want a large Farva. I want a goddamn liter o' cola!
- Dimpus Burger Guy (to Farva) I don't know what that is!
- Farva (enraged and grabbing the Dimpus Burger Guy) Liter is french for give me my fuckin' cola before I break vous fuckin' lip!
- Rabbit Wait, so the local cops are selling Afghany grass to the Canadians? Assholes.
- Thorny No Rabbit, it's coming in from Canada.
- Rabbit Ah! Canadian grass. (nods) Assholes.
- Thorny The local mothers are running protection for 'em.
- Rabbit Oh. I guess I'm the asshole then...
[Foster and Mac have pulled a man over for speeding and are deciding what game to play]
- Mac: All right, how about "Cat Game?"
- Foster: Cat Game? What's the record?
- Mac: Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.
- Foster: Ten? Starting right 'meow?'
[Mac laughs - they walk up to the car, and Foster taps on the driver side]
- Larry Johnson: Sorry about the...
- Foster: All right meow. Hand over your license and registration.
[the man hands him his license]
- Foster: Your registration? Hurry up meow.
[Mac ticks off two fingers]
- Larry Johnson: Sorry.
[the man laughs a little]
- Foster: Is there something funny here boy?
- Larry Johnson: Oh, no.
- Foster: Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?
- Foster: All right meow, where were we?
- Larry Johnson: Excuse me, are you saying meow?
- Foster: Am I saying meow?
[Mac puts his hands up for the fourth one, but makes an "eehhh" facial expression, as he is considering the last one]
- Larry Johnson: I thought...
- Foster: Don't think boy. Meow, do you know how fast you were going?
- Foster: Meow what is so damn funny?
- Larry Johnson: I could have sworn you said meow.
- Foster: Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?
[Mac is gut-busting laughing]
- Foster: Am I drinking milk from a saucer?
- Foster: Do you see me eating mice?
- Foster: [Mac and the man are laughing their heads off now] You stop laughing right meow!
- Larry Johnson: [Stops and swallows hard] Yes sir.
- Foster: Meow, I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one. No buts meow. It's the law.
[rips off the ticket and hands it to the man]
- Foster: Not so funny meow, is it?
- Foster: [Foster gets up to leave, but Mac shakes his hands at him, indicating only nine meows] Meow!
- Thorny:[After pulling over high kids] Where you boys heading.
- High Kid: Where going to Canada for some french fries and gravy.
- Thorny: Canada Eh....Almost made it.
Captain O'Hagen: Hey, look what i found.....a 2 by 4
Mac: You go girlfriend
- Altered State Police
- It's their highway. You're just driving on it.
- You don't mess with the law. The law messes with you.
- Jay Chandrasekhar as State Trooper Arcot 'Thorny' Ramathorn
- Kevin Heffernan as State Trooper Rodney Farva
- Steve Lemme as State Trooper MacIntyre 'Mac' Womack
- Paul Soter as State Trooper Jeff Foster
- Erik Stolhanske as State Trooper Robert 'Rabbit' Roto
- Brian Cox as Captain John O'Hagen
- Daniel von Bargen as Police Chief Bruce Grady
- Jim Gaffigan as Larry Johnson