Super Troopers

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In oratory the will must predominate.
David Hare
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Super Troopers is a 2002 comedy film about bored highway patrol officers in a remote part of Vermont.

Written and directed by Broken Lizard.
Altered State Police taglines


Mac

  • YOU BOYS LIKE MEX-E-CO?!?! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
  • (Cross-eyed and with slight lisp) Do we look like the two dumbest guys in the world to you? Is that why you treat us with such disrespect?
  • GOOD ENOUGH TO FUCK YOUR MOTHER!!!!!!!!
  • You're gonna feel a little pinch
  • Three... Two... One... Do It
  • Evil Shenanigans (in high squeaky voice with hand motions)

Farva

  • I guess that's it for the old locker. She stinks like ass but I'll still miss her. I guess you could say that about all my girls.
  • How's it going Denim Dan? You look like the president, chairman, and CEO of Levi Straus. Hey where'd you get the Canadian tuxedo?
  • License and registration ... CHICKEN FUCKER!
  • Stop calling me radio, unit 91!
  • Who wants cream? Anybody? Ok, no cream
  • WAIT, that one is Rabbit's. (Rabbit replies: Oh look, a bar of soap.) oh shit, I got you good you fucker!
  • I'm all highway!
  • No, its powdered sugar................Its delicious!
  • Does that look like spit to you? Ah, fuck it!
  • Can I get a liter o' cola?
  • Liter is French for give me some fuckin' cola or I'll break vous fuckin' lips!!!!
  • I don't want a large Farva. I want a goddamn liter o' cola!
  • [when he pulls the sweepstakes ticket off of his cup and finds a hole] Dammit, you burger punk! You son of a bitch!
  • I just lost a buck...to myself!
  • What the crap, how come nobody called me?
  • But, Chief, you know I'm not a pro-union guy.
  • THAT'S MY CAR! THAT'S MY GIRL!
  • Hey there Charlie's Angel.
  • Hey there, dirty dogs! Did I miss the song? Sing it again, rookie biotch!!

Foster

  • What size cells are these? Eight by eight? Ours are nine by nine... no big deal.
  • You killed my dummy.
  • It might have been my sixth, or even my seventh sense.

Rabbit

  • You are freakin' out....man.
  • I . . . guess I'll go take a shower then . . .
  • [After Thorny says, "You smell somethin', Rabbit?"] *Sniffs* Fear.
  • What, are you gonna light my ass on fire?

Thorny

  • (slow voice) Mother of God.
  • Who wants a moustache ride?
  • I am all that is MAN!
  • OH, this little guy? I wouldn't worry about this little guy.
  • It stinks like sex in here
  • Where you boys heading.....Canada Eh....Almost made it
  • What? They can't lump us in with that fuckin' Martian.

Captain O'Hagen

  • I swear to God, I'll pistol whip the next guy who says shenaningans!
  • These boys get that syrup in 'em, they get all antsy in their pantsy.
  • I'll believe ya when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet.
  • That's it, you're off the road, never again. [Sir, it was not my fault!] And neither was the God-damn school bus! There was a time when we'd take a guy like you out back and beat you with a hose. Now you've got your God-damned unions.
  • Drunk enough to kick your ass!

Dialogue

Rabbit: Oh look, a bar of soap.
Farva: Oh ho ho, Shit I got you good you fucker!
Mac:(with mocking voice and fake lisp) Awesome prank Farva.

Foster: Aw, Mac, you fucker!
Mac: Gree-tings. (Laughs) You guys are too slow.
Foster: You killed my dummy.
Thorny: Mac, now I'm going to pay you. But I shouldn't, 'cause I knew it was you the whole time.
Mac: Aw, Thorny, don't lie in front of the rookie. It sets a bad example.

Thorny: Foster, where are your shoes?
Foster: What, are you the shoe police now?
Thorny: I am, and you owe me 20 laps around the bar. Lets go.
Foster: Your black magic only works on the rookie.
Thorny: That's brown magic.

O'Hagen: I just got off the phone with Tom McCardle From the budget committee. This thing with Farva screwed our pooch.
Thorny: What? They can't lump us in with that fuckin' Martian.
O'Hagen: We're all in the same boat, fellas.
Mac: But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun.
Thorny: Yeah, his shenanigans are cruel and tragic.
Foster: Which wouldn't make them shenanigans, at all, really.
Mac: (Irish voice) Evil shenanigans!
O'Hagen: I swear to God, I'll pistol whip the next guy that says 'shenanigans!'
Mac: Hey Farva, what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?
Farva: You mean Shenanigan's?
Mac, Foster and Thorny: Oh, no! (Laughing) (Mac hands O'Hagen his gun.)
Farva: You're talking about Shenanigan's, right?
O'Hagen: Put those away!

Police Chief Grady: I'm sorry about that delousing. Just standard procedure.
Farva: It's powdered sugar.
Police Chief Grady: The lice ... hate the sugar. So anyway ...
Farva: [Interrupting] It's delicious.

Mac: Come in Radio.
Farva: Don't call me Radio, Unit 91.
Mac: Don't call me Unit 91, Radio.
Farva: ...Are we done?
Mac: Yeah okay Radio. We got a suspicious vehicle, White Caprice, Vermont Plates, Tijuana, Gringo, Oner, Fiver, Zero
Farva: Roger, checking...Unit 91 that license plate belongs to a local Spurburry police vehicle.
Mac: It does?! OH MY GOD!!!
Farva: ...Very funny 91.

Thorny: Son do you know why I pulled you over?
Driver: Uhhh...
Thorny: Littering and... Littering and... Littering and... [the rest of the car joins in, cauisng the kid in the back to freak out from the echoes] smoking the reefer. [holds up bag of marijuana]
Driver: Oh, officer, that's not ours.
Kid in back: [deep groan] Candy bars.
Thorny: Now to teach you boys a lesson, me and officer Rabbit are going to stand here while you boys smoke the whole bag.
Kid in Back: Please, no.
Rabbit: Please, yes.

German Man: I'm sorry officer for the speeding violation, I'm so used to driving on the autobahn.
German Woman: Ich finde er sieht auf Shaun Cassidy schön. [I think he looks like Shaun Cassidy.]
German Man: Ja, das finde ich, yummi yummi. [I think so too, yummi yummi.]
Rabbit: Do you know why I pulled you over?
German Man: Because we were going way too fast.
Rabbit: Ja.
German Man: Ja. Well the thing is I cannot afford to have another ticket on mein Porsche. Is there something I could do for you, or perhaps something my wife could do? Perhaps there is something you would like to do to her?
German Woman: Maybe some hard spanking und cuffing is in order.

Passenger: You didn't eat both those bags did you!
Kid in back: [mouth full of shrooms] Call Guinness!

Farva: Give me a double bacon cheeseburger.
Dimpus Burger Guy: [into microphone] Double baco cheeseburger. It's for a cop.
Farva: What the hell's that all about? You gonna spit in it now?
Dimpus Burger Guy: No, I just told him that so he makes it good. [into microphone] Don't spit in that cop's burger.
Farva:' Yeah, thanks.
Second Dimpus Guy: Roger, holding the spit.

Dimpus Burger Guy Uhh, right. Beverage?
Farva Gimme a liter o' cola
Dimpus Burger Guy (into the mic) Liter Cola? Do we sell Liter Cola?
Thorny: Will you just order a large, Farva.
Farva: I don't want a large Farva. I want a goddamn liter o' cola!
Dimpus Burger Guy (to Farva) I don't know what that is!
Farva (enraged and grabbing the Dimpus Burger Guy) Liter is french for give me my fuckin' cola before I break vous fuckin' lip!



Rabbit Wait, so the local cops are selling Afghany grass to the Canadians? Assholes.
Thorny No Rabbit, it's coming in from Canada.
Rabbit Ah! Canadian grass. (nods) Assholes.
Thorny The local mothers are running protection for 'em.
Rabbit Oh. I guess I'm the asshole then...

Cat game

[Foster and Mac have pulled a man over for speeding and are deciding what game to play]

Mac: All right, how about "Cat Game?"
Foster: Cat Game? What's the record?
Mac: Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.
Foster: Ten? Starting right 'meow?'

[Mac laughs - they walk up to the car, and Foster taps on the driver side]

Larry Johnson: Sorry about the...
Foster: All right meow. Hand over your license and registration.

[the man hands him his license]

Foster: Your registration? Hurry up meow.

[Mac ticks off two fingers]

Larry Johnson: Sorry.

[the man laughs a little]

Foster: Is there something funny here boy?
Larry Johnson: Oh, no.
Foster: Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?

[pause]

Foster: All right meow, where were we?
Larry Johnson: Excuse me, are you saying meow?
Foster: Am I saying meow?

[Mac puts his hands up for the fourth one, but makes an "eehhh" facial expression, as he is considering the last one]

Larry Johnson: I thought...
Foster: Don't think boy. Meow, do you know how fast you were going?

[man laughs]

Foster: Meow what is so damn funny?
Larry Johnson: I could have sworn you said meow.
Foster: Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?

[Mac is gut-busting laughing]

Foster: Am I drinking milk from a saucer?

[feigned anger]

Foster: Do you see me eating mice?
Foster: [Mac and the man are laughing their heads off now] You stop laughing right meow!
Larry Johnson: [Stops and swallows hard] Yes sir.
Foster: Meow, I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one. No buts meow. It's the law.

[rips off the ticket and hands it to the man]

Foster: Not so funny meow, is it?
Foster: [Foster gets up to leave, but Mac shakes his hands at him, indicating only nine meows] Meow!
Thorny:[After pulling over high kids] Where you boys heading.
High Kid: Where going to Canada for some french fries and gravy.
Thorny: Canada Eh....Almost made it.

Captain O'Hagen: Hey, look what i found.....a 2 by 4

Mac: You go girlfriend

Taglines

  • Altered State Police
  • It's their highway. You're just driving on it.
  • You don't mess with the law. The law messes with you.

Cast

External links

Wikipedia
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