Seek not happiness too greedily, and be not fearful of unhappiness.Lao-Tzu
- This ain't nothin' compared to the summer of '88. It was so hot, that chickens was layin' fried eggs, and babies was cryin' out sawdust. So I hightailed it up to Kansas...
- Can't get any worse than this.
- I am a ring-tailed roarer. I can draw faster, shoot straighter and drink harder than any man alive. I'm the rip-snortinest cowboy that ever rode, North, South, East or West of the Rio Grande. I'm Pecos Bill.
- There's going to be more after me and more after them and after them. Long's there's a profit to be made, we'll never stop. We're comin'!
- [Repeated quote: The Code] Respect the land, defend the defenseless, and don't never spit in front of women or children.
- Daniel Hackett: Who are you?
- Pecos Bill: I am a ring-tailed roarer. I can draw faster, shoot straighter and drink longer than any man alive. I r--
- Daniel Hackett: You got a name, don't you?
- Pecos Bill: I'm gettin' to that. I'm the rip-snortinest cowboy that ever rode North, South, East or West of the Rio Grande. I'm Pecos Bill.
- Daniel Hackett: And I'm Santy Claus.
- Pecos Bill: Friendly cuss, ain't he, Widow Maker? Well, Dan'l Hackett, I think them two varmints got somethin' that belongs to you.
- Pecos Bill: I oughta plug you two right now. But I make it a rule never to kill a man on a Sunday.
- Thief: Sunday?
- Thief #2: Today's Wednesday.
- Pecos Bill: Wednesday?
- Paul Bunyan: How old are you?
- Daniel Hackett: 12.
- Paul Bunyan: Stay out of my business if you want to be 13.
- [In a desert]
- Pecos Bill: This ain't nothin' compared to the summer of '88. So hot, chickens was layin' fried eggs and babies was cryin' up sawdust. So I hightailed it up to Kansas--
- Paul Bunyan: Does this story have a point? Or does it just go ooon and ooon and oooooooooooooooon like this stinkin' desert?
- Pecos Bill: Yeah, this story has a point. I blew out the dang fire! You know, I'm gettin' sick and tired of you complainin' all the time!
- Paul Bunyan: I'm lost in a giant barbeque pit and I don't know what's going to kill me first: the heat, the thirst, or havin' to listen to your inceseant yammerin!
- John Henry: [Kicking Paul with sand] You shut up, shut up, shut up, you over-grown TUB A' LARD!!
- Paul Bunyan: You stay out of this you-you contest loser! What did you call me?!
- [Paul and Henry start to fight]
- John Henry: YOU'RE NOTHIN' BUT A BIG FAT QUITTER! QUITTER, QUITTER, QUITTER!
- J.P. Stiles: Mister, I got no fight with you.
- Pecos Bill: Naw, defenseless youngins' and farmers are more your style.
- J.P. Stiles: Mister, you just killed yourself.