The Bill Engvall Show

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Love is inseparable from knowledge.
St. Macarius of Egypt
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The Bill Engvall Show is a sitcom starring comedian Bill Engvall.

Bill Engvall

  • I only meant to lie to the kids. You just happened to be in the room
  • You kids think you're funny, but you can't take back heart damage.

Trent: I was happier at third string. The coach leaves you alone and you can hang out and drink Gatorade and you get a great seat for the game.

Bryan: If I leave, you're gonna start kissing her with your tongue and then she'll get pregnant.

Bill Engvall: Remember: Greed is a bad color on a person.
Trent: Green.
Bill Engvall: (short pause) No it's greed.
Trent: Greed isn't a color.

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