The Boondock Saints
Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.Michael Leunig
- Written and directed by Troy Duffy.
- (imitating Doc) A p-penny saved is worth two in the bush.
- You know what I think is psycho, Roc? It's decent men with loving families. They come home every day after work and they turn on the news. You know what they see? They see rapists, and murderers and child molesters. They're all getting out of prison.
- Rule of thumb? Can't do much damage with that thing, can we. Perhaps it should have been the rule of wrist.
- What the fuck were you gonna do? Laugh the last three to death, FUNNYMAN?!
- It's a fuckin six shooter!
- You know what we need. Some rope.
- Is that right, Rambo?
- I'll get my stupid rope. I'll get it. There's a rope right there.
- Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.
- (imitating Doc) Don't c-cross the road if ya can't get out of the kitchen.
- Yeah, it's St. Patty's day. Everyone's Irish tonight.
- You'd probably have better luck with a beer.
- Mafiosos *gun click* getting caught with 20 kilos, getting out on bail *snaps* same fuckin' day
- Yeah, it's St. Paddy's Day, everyone's Irish tonight. Why don't yous just pull up a stool and have a drink with us?
- You and your fucking rope!
- We're sorta like 7-Eleven, we're not always doing business, but we're always open.
- I can't believe that just fucking happened!
- That's stupid. Name one thing you'd need a rope for.
- it was just a barfight. you guys are fuckin' pussies.
Paul Smecker, F.B.I.
- Brilliant. So now we got a Huge Guy theory and a Serial Crusher theory. Top notch.
- Television. Television is the explanation for this. You see this in bad television. The little assault guys creeping through the vents, coming in through the ceiling. That James Bond shit never happens in real life. Professionals don't do that.
- You Irish cops are perking up. That's two sound theories in one day, neither of which deal with abnormally-sized men. Kinda makes me feel like Riverdancing. [begins dancing]
- We'll start the ass-kissing with you. [points to Detective Greenly]
- Hey Greenly, onion bagel. Cream cheese.
- That's all she freakin' wrote.
- Café latte. Twist of lemon. Sweet 'n' low.
- Cuddle? What a fag.
- Just pour the drink, you fairy fuck.
- "Symbology"? Well, now that Duffy's relinquished his King Bonehead crown, I see we have a new heir to the throne. The word I believe you're looking for is "symbolism".
- Well, Freud was right. So you think they came for the "fag man", huh?
- This was a fuckin bomb droppin on Beaver Cleaverville. For a few seconds, this place was armageddon. There was a firefight!
- When I whet my flashing sword, and my hand takes hold in judgment, I will take vengeance upon mine enemies, and I will repay those who haze me. Oh Lord, raise me to Thy right hand and count me among Thy saints.
- And whosoever shed man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed, for in the image of God made He man. Destroy all that which is evil. So that which is good may flourish. And I shall count thee amoung my favoured sheep. And you shall have the protection of all the angels in heaven
- Never shall innocent blood be shed. Yet the blood of the wicked shall flow like a river. The three shall spread their blackened wings and be the vengeful striking hammer of God.
- You people have been chosen, to reveal our existence to the world, you will witness what happens here today, and you will tell of it later.
- You must watch, dear. It'll all be over soon.
- The question is not how far. The question is do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith to go as far as needed?
Connor, Murphy & IL Duce
- [Family prayer]
And Shepherds we shall be, for Thee my lord for Thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee,
and teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In Nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.
(In The Name Of The Father, The Son, And The Holy Ghost)
David Della Rocco (aka "Roc" and "Rocco")
- Wyatt fuckin' Earp!
- Catch you on the flip side!
- Shut your fat-ass Rayvie! I can't go out and buy a pack a of smokes without running into nine guys you've fucked!
- [after getting caught fondling an unconcious stripper] I'll tip her!
- Hey fuckass, get me a beer!
- Hey, Boris! What would you do if I told you that your pinko-commie mother sucked so much dick that her face looked like an egg?
- We could kill everyone!
- Fucking... what the fucking fuck... who the fuck fucked this fucking... how did you two fucking fucks... FUCK!!!
- I'll shoot myself in the head if you can tell me that cat's name. Go ahead, your what, your precious little...
- You guys should be in every major city.
- They can suck my pathetic little dick! And I'll dip my nuts in marinara sauce just so those fat bastards can get a taste of home while they're at it!
- Is it Dead?
- Pack your shit! Pack your shit!
- I killed your cat you druggie bitch!
- I thought it would bring closure to our relationship.
- We've gotta buy you like a proverb book or something this mix and match shit's gotta go.
- See you on the flipside.
- Det. Greenly: [talking to a dead body] Where you goin'? No where!
- Doc: Why don't you make like a tree, and get the fuck outta here?
- Doc: Fuck! Ass!
- Monsignor: And I am reminded on this holy day of the sad story of Kitty Genovese. As you all may remember, long time ago almost 30 years ago. This poor soul cried out for help time and time again, but no person answered their calls. Though many saw, no one so much as called the police. They all just watched as Kitty was being stabbed to death in broad daylight. They watched as her assailant walked away. Now, we must all fear evil men, but there is another kind of evil, which we must fear most, and that is, the indifference of good men.
- On the wall while in the weapon room: While the wicked stand confounded, Call me with thy saints surrounded.
- Doc: You know what they say: People in glass houses sink sh... sh... sh... ships.
- Rocco: I got to buy you like a proverb book or something, because this mix 'n' match shit's gotta go.
- Doc: What?
- Connor: Well, a penny saved is worth two in the bush, isn't it?
- Murphy: And don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen.
- Connor: Now you will receive us.
- Murphy: We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry.
- Connor: We do not want your tired and sick.
- Murphy: It is your corrupt we claim.
- Connor: It is your evil that will be sought by us.
- Murphy: With every breath, we shall hunt them down.
- Connor: Each day we will spill their blood, 'til it rains down from the skies.
- Murphy: Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.
- Connor: These are not polite suggestions. These are codes of behavior, and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost.
- Murphy: There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth, not to push the bounds and cross over, into true corruption, into our domain.
- Connor: For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three, and on that day you will reap it.
- Murphy: And we will send you to whatever god you wish.
- Connor: How far are we going to take this, Da?
- Il Duce: The question is not how far. The question is, do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith, to go as far as is needed?
- Rocco: Fuckin'..What the fuckin' fuck..Who the fuck..Fuck this fuckin'..How did you two fuckin' fucks.. FUCK!
- Connor: Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.
- The Priest: Would they ever harm an innocent person for any reason?
- [Off Rocco, who is holding the priest at gunpoint as Murphy holds a gun on him]
- Paul Smecker: No, they would never do that.
- [Priest is visibly relieved]
- Paul Smecker: Well, the two Irish guys wouldn't. The Italian guy might. He's kind of an idiot.
- The Priest: ...I'm beginning to see.
- [After Smecker gets a phone call in bed with his gay lover and slaps him]
- Paul Smecker: What are you doing?
- Hojo: I just wanted to cuddle.
- Paul Smecker: Cuddle? What a fag.
- [After Rocco accidentally fires a gun, turning the cat into a splatter on the wall]
- Murphy: I can't believe that just fucking happened!
- Rocco: IS IT DEAD??
- [Connor and Murphy always pray over their victims]
- Connor, Murphy: And shepherds we shall be, for thee my lord for thee. Power hath descended forth from thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be. In nomine Patris, et Filii...
- [They cock their guns]
- Connor, Murphy: ...et Spiritus Sancti.
- [They fire]
- Rocco: Me! I'm the guy! I know everyone! I know their habits, who they hang out with! I got phone numbers, addresses! I know who they're fucking, I know where they live! We could kill everyone!
- Murphy: What do you think about it?
- Connor: I'm strangely comfortable with it.
- Donna: Where's my cat?
- Rocco: I killed your cat, you druggie bitch!
- Donna: What? Why?
- Rocco: Because I felt it would bring closure to our relationship.
- Donna: You killed my... my...
- Rocco: Your what!? Your fucking what, bitch? [Points gun at his own head] God dammit, I'll shoot myself in the head if you can tell me that cat's name! Go ahead! Your what? Your precious little...
- Donna: Skip... Skippy! Skippy!
- Rocco: [Still holding gun to his head] Aww...Jesus! What color was it, bitch?
- Rayvie: Hey, don't fucking yell at her like that!
- Rocco: Shut your fat ass, Rayvie! I can't go and buy a pack of smokes without running into nine guys you've fucked!
- Det. Greenly: What if it was just one guy with six guns?
- Paul Smecker: Why don't you let me do the thinkin', huh, genius?
- Thy Kingdom Come. Thy Will Be Done.
- Before The MacManus Brothers Get To Heaven, They're Gonna Raise A Little Hell
- Willem Dafoe - Paul Smecker
- Sean Patrick Flanery - Connor McManus
- Norman Reedus - Murphy McManus
- David Della Rocco - David Della Rocco AKA " FunnyMan"
- Billy Connolly - IL Duce
- Ron Jeremy - Vincenzo Lipazzi