The Naked Gun

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Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.
Guillaume Apollinaire
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The Naked Gun is a series of comedy movies. The three films (The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!, The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear, and The Naked Gun 33⅓: The Final Insult) chronicle the adventures of Nielsen's character, the bumbling police detective Lieutenant Frank Drebin.

Directed by David Zucker. Written by Jerry Zucker.

Frank Drebin

  • Lt Drebin, Police Squad! And don't ever let me catch you guys in America!
  • The truth hurts doesn't it, Hapsburg. Oh sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts.
  • There is always risk. You take a risk getting up in the morning, crossing the street... or sticking your face in a fan.
  • Like a blind man at an orgy, I was gonna have to feel my way out.
  • Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.
  • And by the way.. I faked every orgasm.
  • I'm sorry, I can't hear you! Don't fire the gun while you're talking!
  • No, no, no I'm sure that we can handle this maturely. Just like the sensible adults that we are. Isn't that right Mr. Poopy Pants?


Vincent Ludwig: Drebin!
Jane Spencer: Frank!
Frank Drebin: You're both right.

Vincent Ludwig: Inspector Drebin, welcome.
Frank Drebin: The feeling is mutual.
Vincent Ludwig: Nice to meet you too... He offers Drebin some cigars ... Cuban?
Frank Drebin: Err, no, Dutch-Irish, my father was from Wales.

Jane Spencer: Can I interest you in a night cap?
Frank Drebin: No, thank you, I don't wear them.

Mayor Barkley: Oh Drebin. I don't want any more trouble like you had last year on the southside. Understand? Thats my policy.
Frank Drebin: Yes, well. When I see five weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in the middle of the park in pro view of a hundred people, I shoot the bastards, that's my policy.
Mayor Barkley: That was a Shakespeare in the Park production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!

Rocko: What is your prison number?
Frank Drebin: It's unlisted.

Frank Drebin: That's the red-light district. I wonder why Savage is hanging around down there.
Ed Hocken: Sex, Frank?
Frank Drebin: Uh, no, not right now, Ed. We've got work to do.

Tanya Peters: What are you doing?
Frank Drebin: Oh! I was, uh, just conjugating my next move.
Tanya Peters: Your bishop's exposed.
Frank Drebin: It's these pants.

Goon: Hey, Drebin! I've got a messege for you from Vincent Ludwig:

He talks rapidly while repeatedly firing is gun

Frank Drebin: I can't hear you, dont fire the gun while you talk!

Frank Drebin: Nice Beaver!
Jane Spencer: Thanks I just had it stuffed <as she hands him a stuffed beaver>

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