The Road to El Dorado

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The Road to El Dorado is a 2000 animated movie about two thieves, Miguel and Tulio, who accidentally stow away on a ship bound for the New World. They escape the ship with a horse, and wash up on the shores of Mexico. They eventually discover El Dorado, the city of gold, where they are mistaken for gods.

Directed by Eric Bergeron. Written by Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio
They came for the gold... they stayed for the adventure.

Tulio

  • If I believed in fate, I wouldn't be playing with loaded dice.
  • I will give you the honor of a quick and painless death. [Grabs a tiny dagger, pauses.] But not with that.
  • You drank the sea water, didn't you?
  • Your horse bit me in the butt!
  • Hello, is this your rock? Sorry, we were just looking. We're tourists. Tou-rists. We lost our group. May we go now?
  • Miguel, you know that little voice people have that tells them to quit when they're ahead? You don't have one!
  • Now if you'll excuse me, I have to gloat over my gold.
  • We are working a con, walking the razor's edge. On one side, gold. On the other side… [Gestures at mural of human sacrifice] …painful, agonizing failure!
  • Alright, cards on the table. I want you to come to Spain with me and Miguel. Especially me. Mostly me. Only me. Forget Miguel.
  • Take that, you big Tzekel-Kan cat creep!
  • You're not a god? You lied to me? How dare you!
  • You gave me loaded dice?
  • [sees that their longboat could collide with Cortez's warship] Holy SHIP!

Miguel

  • Alright, Cuba!
  • So uh, how... how's the escape plan coming?
  • [While cutting down vines] The trail that we'll blaze... [Vines fall to reveal a rock wall, and Miguel points to the distance to the left] THAT trail that we'll blaze!
  • [After Tulio stops the volcano] Don't make me start it up again, 'cause I will.
  • Tulio relax. All you have to do is smile, act godly, and follow my lead.
  • Here’s an order: take the day off!
  • The gods are speaking for themselves now.
  • There will be no more sacrifices. Not now, not ever.
  • Not bad for my first commandment, huh?
  • Vertical ascension requires a lot more rope.
  • Well, isn't king kind of a step down from god?

Tzekel-Kan

  • And so dawns the age of the Jaguar. Happy New Year.
  • Smile while you can.
  • Do you wish to have your victims bound to an altar, or would you prefer them free range? And will you be devouring their essence whole, or piece-by-piece?
  • Crush them into the dust!
  • As the… gods… command.
  • I know what you are. And I know what you are not. And you are not gods!

Others

  • Cortes: My crew was as carefully chosen as the disciples of Christ, and I will not tolerate stowaways. You will be flogged. And when we put into Cuba to re-supply, God willing, you will be flogged some more. And then enslaved on the sugar plantations for the rest of your miserable lives.
  • Chel: My only wish is to serve the gods.
  • Chief Tannabok: Big smile, like you mean it.
  • Chief Tannabok: Oh, we expected you to be staying with us for the next… thousand years.

Dialogue

Miguel: You fight like my sister!
Tulio: I've fought your sister. That's a compliment.

[While running for their lives, they come to the edge of a roof, quite a distance from the waterfront.]
Miguel: I'll bet we can make that.
Tulio: Two pesetas says we can't.
Miguel: You're on! [They jump of the edge and land in two barrels] You lose.

Tulio: What's happening here?
Miguel: We're both in barrels. That's the extent of my knowledge.

Tulio: All right. In the dead of night, you and I grab some provisions, hijack one of those... longboats... and then, we... row back to Spain like there's no manana!
[Pause]
Miguel: Back to Spain, yeah?
Tulio: Yeah.
Miguel: [uncertainly] In... a rowboat.
Tulio: Yeah!
Miguel: [sarcastically] Great. Sensational. And that's your plan, is it?
Tulio: That's... pretty much it.
Miguel: [delighted] Well, I like it! So, how do we get on deck?
Tulio: [pause] In the dead of night, you and I grab some provisions, hijack one of those... longboats...
Miguel: [bored] Oh, great...
Tulio: [annoyed] Well, then, what's YOUR idea, smart guy?!

Miguel: Altivo! Hey, Altivo! You want the nice apple? Come and get it! But, you have to do a trick for me first! All you have to do, is find a pry bar. It's a long piece of iron with a hooky thing at the end.
Tulio: Miguel, you're talking to a horse!
Miguel: Yes, that's it Altivo. Find the pry bar!
Tulio: Yes, "find the pry bar". He doesn't understand "pry bar"! He's a dumb horse, there's no way he'd--
[Altivo drops keys into the brig]
Tulio: Well. It's not a pry bar.

Miguel: Hey, look on the positive side! At least things can't get-- [thunder rumbles and rain pours down]
Tulio: Excuse me, were you about to say "worse?" Huh?
Miguel: No.
Tulio: No?
Miguel: No. Absolutely. I've revised that whole... thing.

[Miguel and Tulio are stranded in the boat, together with Altivo]
Miguel: Tulio, did you ever imagine it would end like this?
Tulio: [Pause] The horse is a surprise.
Miguel: Any... regrets?
Tulio: Besides dying? Yeah. I never... had enough... gold.
Miguel: My regret, besides dying, is... our greatest adventure is over before it began, and no one will even remember us.
Tulio: Well, if it's any consolation, Miguel, you... made my life... an adventure.
Miguel: And if it's any consolation, Tulio, you made my life... rich.

[after seeing a skeleton on the beach]
Tulio: All those in favor of getting back in the boat, say aye.
Miguel: Aye!
Tulio: Aye!
[Altivo snorts]

Tulio: Apparently El Dorado is native for... great... big... ROCK!!!
Miguel: Tulio, you don't think, Cortes could've gotten here before us and, and--
Tulio: And what? Taken all the really big rocks? The scoundrel!

Tulio: [sighs] Well, it was nice working with you, partner.
Miguel: Tulio, I just want you to know... I'm sorry about that girl in Barcelona.
Tulio: Sor-- you-- you...

Tulio: Miguel and Tulio!
Miguel: Tulio and Miguel!
Together: Mighty and powerful gods!
Chel: Hello.
[both squeal]

Tulio: Back mortal, before we strike you with a lightning bolt!
Chel: [calmly] Save it for the High Priest, honey, you're gonna need it.

Chel: Oh, then I suppose you'll be wanting these back? [produces Tulio's dice in her hand]
Tulio: [pats pockets, shocked] Hey... how'd you get those?
Miguel: [raising eyebrows] Where was she keeping them?

Tulio: The little voice, remember? Remember the little voice? Well, just for a moment, imagine that you have one. Now, what would it be saying about Chel?
Miguel: Uuuuum... [purrs]

Tulio: Hey, Chel, what's going on?
Chel: It's not gonna be good.
Tulio: Thank you.

[Tzekel-Kan starts to perform a human sacrifice.]
Tulio: Stop! This is not a proper tribute!
[Miguel rescues the intended victim and drags him to safety.]
Tzekel-Kan: You do not want the tribute?
Miguel: No no, we want tribute. It's just that, um... Tulio, tell him.
Tulio: The stars are not in position for this tribute!
Miguel: Like he said! Stars! … Can't do it… Not today.

Miguel: You worry too much.
Tulio: No, I worry exactly the right amount. You can never worry too much!

Chel: Go ahead. I'll cover for you.
Miguel: Oh, yeah, thanks. So, what happened to Altivo? [He ducks out of sight.]
Chel: I dunno.
Tulio: [Approaching] Hey, what happened to Miguel?
Chel: I dunno.
Tulio: Oh my God, he's gone! He's loose! What am I gonna do?!

Tulio: I'm not really sure I trust you.
Chel: Mmm… I'm not really asking you to trust me, am I?
Tulio: Hmm… 'kay.

Chel: The High Priest? What's he gonna think if he finds one of the gods like this with me?
Tulio: Uh, "Lucky God"?

Tzekel-Kan: The history of the age of the Jaguar will be written in...
Tulio: Ink?
Tzekel-Kan: Blood!

Tulio: What… do you think… you are doing?
Miguel: [chuckles] Laying low?

Miguel: Well don't blame me!
Tulio: I BLAME YOU!

Miguel: We need a miracle.
Tulio: No, we need to cheat!

Tulio: No? Who are you kidding? You're buying your own con!
Miguel: At least I'm not dating mine!
Tulio: I-- Ooh, low blow.

Cast

External links

Wikipedia
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