Three Little Pigs

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Real life seems to have no plots.
Ivy Compton Burnett
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Three Little Pigs is a series of Disney's Silly Symphonies from 1933 to 1939.

The Practical Pig

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[the first two pigs notice Practical Pig building a lie detector, then laugh]
Fifer Pig: He's building another wolf machine. He must be crazy in the beans.
Fiddler Pig: To work all day is fun for him, but not for us. Let's take a swim!
Practical Pig: Don't go swimming, do ya hear?! The pond ain't safe; the wolf is near!
[a hammer piece falls on his head, then the two pigs laugh]
Fifer and Fiddler Pig: [singing] He's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf! [they make razzling and whistling noises]

[the Big Bad Wolf gets caught in the Practical Pig's lie detector machine]
Practical Pig: Where are my brothers?!
Big Bad Wolf: Your brothers?! Never heard of 'em!
[the lie detector detects a lie, then washes the Big Bad Wolf's with soap and water]
Practical Pig: Where are my brothers?!
Big Bad Wolf: I ain't seen 'em!
[the lie detector detects another lie, then spanks the wolf in the rear]
Practical Pig: Where are my brothers?!
Big Bad Wolf: I ain't.... [looks at lie detector, then looks at Practical Pig and speaks in a calmer voice] Now, listen, buddy. You've got me wrong. Why, I'm your pal.
[the lie detector detects still another lie and punishes the wolf once more]

Fiddler and Fifer Pig: Why don't you mind your Papa?!

Practical Pig: Didn't I tell you not to go swimming?
Fifer Pig: Oh, we didn't go swimming, did we?
Fiddler Pig: Oh, no.
[the lie detector detects a lie and spanks the two pigs]
Practical Pig: Remember, this hurts me worse than it does to you!
[the lie detector sounds again and spanks Practical]

[the wolves are about to bake the two pigs]
Fifer and Fiddler Pig: You'll be sorry when your pop gets back and we ain't here.
Three Little Wolves: Ha! We'll be sorry!

The Big Bad Wolf

Fiddler and Fifer Pig: The wolf! He's got her!
[Practical Pig packs up and rushes down to the house]


Fiddler and Fifer Pig: You'll get there, quick, Red Riding Hood, if you take the shortcut, through the woods.
Practical Pig: There's danger in them woods! Be aware! The Big Bad Wolf is lurking, there!
[all notice Practical Pig]
Practical Pig: Better do, be safe and sorry! Shortcuts are not always good. Take the long road around the corners, while the wolf is in the woods.

Three Little Pigs

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Big Bad Wolf: Open the door and let me in!

Fifer and Fiddler Pig: Who's there?
Big Bad Wolf: [disguised as a sheep] I'm a poor little sheep, with no place to sleep. Please open the door and let me in.

Three Little Wolves

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Practical Pig: The wolf!

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