Unaccompanied Minors

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Unaccompanied Minors (also called Grounded: Unaccompanied Minors) is a 2006 comedy film about six kids who find themselves snowbound at an airport on Christmas Eve.

Directed by Paul Feig. Written by Jacob Meszaros and Mya Stark.
Silent night... Yeah, right. (Taglines)
Donna Malone: Mom! I'm 11! I'll look like a loser getting my picture with Santa!
Mrs. Malone: You'll look like someone who's grounded if you don't. Now, go sit on Santa's lap.

Donna Malone: Hands off, fat boy! [punches Santa in the groin]

Spencer Davenport: OK, airport food's that much, huh?
Restaurant Hostess: I am so gonna kill you.
Spencer Davenport: It was good service.

Spencer Davenport: Nachos. My mom never lets me eat those, you know, so an order of those. She's banned all sodas from the house, so extra-, extra-, extra-large root beer.
Restaurant Hostess: My mom never let me eat mozzarella sticks.
Spencer Davenport: Mine either. Two orders. On to dessert, huh?
Restaurant Hostess: You don't have a tapeworm, do you?

Donna Malone: So where are we staying?
Oliver Porter: What's wrong with right here?
Grace Conrad: It smells like a horse died in it.

Donna Malone: Watch it, Dr. Evil.
Oliver Porter: Oh no, did I offend you? Well, I don't know what else to call someone who commits grand theft auto, reckless driving and destruction of property all in the course of ten minutes.
Donna Malone: Someone cooler than you'll ever be.
Oliver Porter: Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! Whoo! That's fantastic. I didn't know we had Ellen DeGeneres in the house. [to Spencer] And what about a young man who orders the heart attack special and can't pay for it? [to Grace] Or a girl who exfoliates herself all over the airport lounge? [to Beef] Then, the abominable snowman who transforms the Emergency Equipment Center into his own private amusement park and then blames it on Aquaman? Aren't you a little too old to be playing with dolls? I mean, what are you, like 40?
Zach Van Bourke: Actually, Beef is 12, sir.

Oliver Porter: Charlie Goldfinch, my most frequent underage flyer. And formerly model passenger. Karaoke, son? Was it worth it?
Charlie Goldfinch: I had a song in my heart. Oh my gosh, I'm a juvie.

Security Guard: Sweet Jehoshaphat.
Timothy "Beef" Wellington: [Aquaman] did it.

Spencer Davenport: I would like a table for one in the no little sisters section, please.
Restaurant Hostess: Aren't you a little young to be flying by yourself?
Spencer Davenport: Not at all.

Grace Conrad: Once a dork, always a dork.
Spencer Davenport: You are so not a dork.

Mr. Goldfinch: Now Charlie, you're gonna be OK this year, all right?
Charlie Goldfinch: Never been better, Dad.

Grace Conrad: Santa, my friends and I have a bet.
Handsome Santa: About what?
Grace Conrad: [removes the handsome Santa's fake beard] I was right! You're hot! You guys owe me a soy half-caf with a mocha shot! [back to the handsome Santa] Can you get me a discount?

Charlie Goldfinch: So, we're going to the lodge?
Oliver Porter: I think I have an answer to your question. Are you out of your juice-drinking little minds?!

Charlie Goldfinch: [to Donna after she kisses him] Wow! Man, you're so hot!

Charlie Goldfinch: Oh man, Harvard's never gonna accept me with a police record. And I am not going to community college.

Spencer Davenport: [upon seeing many rampaging kids] Oh man, it's like "Lord of the Flies" in here.

Spencer's IOU note: "IOU $74.38. Please e-mail my dad at Davenport.sam@gmail.com for payment. P.S. The mozzarella sticks are for you."
Restaurant Hostess: Oh, you've got to be kidding me. [Spencer] didn't even eat the mozzarella sticks.


  • Six kids, snowbound in an airport on Christmas Eve, without supervision. Someone please call security.
  • Silent night... Yeah, right.
  • Six unaccompanied minors will become one unbelievable family.
  • All flights cancelled. Christmas isn't!

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