Undercover Brother

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Every little girl knows about love. It is only her capacity to suffer because of it that increases.
Francoise Sagan
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  • Conspiracy Brother: Let me tell you something about the word "Good" brother. "Good" is an ancient Anglo-Saxon word "Go-od" meaning "absence of colour". i.e. " It's all Good" which it is, or "good-will hunting" meaning "I'm hunting Niggers". So when you say "Good Morning" to me, what you're really saying is "I'm going to kill your black ass first thing in the morning"!


  • Conspiracy Brother: Hey look out black man, he's got a gun!(Gunshot) I'm hit, but my vest caught it, bitch!


  • Conspiracy Brother: Oh shit, it's Macy Grey with pork chop sideburns!


  • The General: I want you... to buy my new fried chicken.


  • Conspiracy Brother: The computer! Another idea stolen from the black man.


  • Sistah Girl: What the hell?

The Chief: What the hell?

Conspiracy Brother: What the f...


  • Undercover Brother: Ja man, rasta!


  • Undercover Brother: Damn it woman, will you just back off?

Anouncer: Attention, angry black man in khakis.


  • The Chief: If I wanted to hear something stupid, I'd have asked his skinny black ass!

Conspiracy Brother: HA! IN YOUR FACE! Ha-ha, shinny black...Hey!


  • Undecover Brother: Caucasian Overload! Caucasian Overload!


  • Robot: Blackness Confirmed. You got soul.


  • Conspiracy Brother: Ooh! Right up the pooper!


  • Conspiracy Brother: Jesus Christ, black man. Babe Ruth, black man. Madonna, sleeps with black men.


  • The Chief: This is a great day for black people of all races.


  • (door knocking)

Mr Feather: Who's there?

Undercover Brother: Kung.

Mr Feather: Kung Who?

Undercover Brother: Kung Fu!


  • Undercover Brother: You mess with the 'fro, you got to go.


  • The Chief: Son, you talk a lot of shit.

Lance: Yes, I do.

The Chief: But you down.


  • White She-devil: Once you've been with Undercover Brother, there is no other.

Conspiracy Brother: No, it's once you go black, you don't go back.


  • Conspiracy Brother: Give me a pillow case, I'm joinin' the Klan.


  • Underover Brother: You know what they say, behind every great black man...

Conspiracy Brother:...Is the police.

Undercover Brother: No.

Smart Brother:A bunch of slow white athletes.

Undercover Brother: No.

White She-devil: A cute butt.

Undercover Brother: No.

Lance: A probable cause.

Undercover Brother: NO!...A strong black woman.

All: Oh.


  • Underover Brother: Where I come from, we like to pronounce our "e"'s and "r"'s.

Conspiracy Brother: "e"'s and "r"'s?


Undercover Brother: If I didn't have my lemon mango guava smoothie, I beat the bejabbers out of you and stick my foot up your patootie. Now if you'll excuse me, "Frasier" is on.

Sistah Girl: Bejabbers?

Conspiracy Brother: He said he would stick his foot up my so-called "patootie".