From Quotes
A woman who could always love would never grow old; and the love of mother and wife would often give or preserve many charms if it were not too often combined with parental and conjugal anger. There remains in the face of women who are naturally serene and peaceful, and of those rendered so by religion, an after-spring, and later an after-summer, the reflex of their most beautiful bloom.
Jean Paul Richter
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Undergrads was an animated television series centered around the lives of four college undergraduate freshmen. Originally broadcast on MTV during 2001, only thirteen episodes were created.

Unidentified episodes

Rocko: Hi, ladies. Can I offer you sex, in exchange for...sex?
[girls pepper-spray him and run off]
Rocko: Aww, crap.

Cal's Date: I promise I'll start paying you again once I get back on my feet.
Cal: I don't want you on your feet, I want you on your back.

Nitz: I can't help but think that in some small way we partially responsible for what happened today.
Rocko: I blame Cal. It's all his fault.
Nitz: Cal? Why? What did he do?
Rocko: I don't know? The guy's just a wad.

Nitz: I learned that your friends are your friends even if you don't see eye to eye.
Gimpy: I learned that disorder leads to chaos and cloned sheep have pretty nasty tempers.
Rocko: I learned...stuff.
Cal: I learned...Oh a kitty. Cute.

Rocko: Can I just play with your toys and stuff for a while?
Gimpy: Don't touch my toys. They're collectors items.
Rocko: What about this teddy bear?
Gimpy: That's Snookums.

[Nitz is in line at the financial aid office]
Nitz: Tired...feet hurt...need to go to the bathroom...starving...cold...in my warm bed...watching...Battlebots.
[falls asleep in line]

Gimpy: Good-bye wall. I'll never forget how you held up my Star Wars posters proud and tall. Good-bye floor, thank you for not crumbling under the weight of my genius. Good-bye desk, good-bye chair, good-bye, uhh...
[looks at his bed]
Gimpy: I don't think we've ever been formally introduced.

Jessie: You son of a bitch! You left me alone at the party and ditched me to hook up with Kimmy who was so drunk. Do think she's dating you now? That she's in love with you now?
Nitz: I...
Jessie: Shut up! God I can't believe I let you bitch and moan to me about...everything! Not once, not once did you ever get the idea that I might have been doing it for a reason. Haven't you learned anything this whole year about anything?!

Gimpy: You must master your joystick like a fisherman masters bait.

[Mark is blowing air into an inflatable]
Mark: Kimmy I like sucking and blowing as much as the next guy, but wouldn't this be easier with a pump?

Cal: I learned that when you ask women for money, they give it to you. With no strings attached. Except for sex.

Rocko: Nuhh, oh, hey Nitz! Don't worry, I'm not drunk...I'm just a little drunk...what? Nuhh, hey Nitz! So I went to this party tonight, and the guy at the door said like "You can't come in, you got no pants on your legs!" So I said, "So let me drink your beer!" Buuut, he wanted me to wear pants, and I got too much drink in my drunk, to pants on my put. You know? So I told him I was gonna...tell him something about two things...and how I was gonna put my fist in his ouch-place, so I got my punching face on, which I keep in a jar by the door, who was it for? This guy, punch him in the face good! Yes! So I go to punch him, but I get distracted by this fine-ass hunny hunny, and she gonna give me some of the somethin somethin... yeah yeah! So I drunk on up to her, and I say that it's time her and I hit the boyda-boyda-boyda-boyda-good-good, so then she kicks me in my thing and stuff and I fall over, so I think maybe I need some more whiskey! And it's at the party, so I gotta get pants. So I walk to my frat house, and I say "lemme in!" but that's where the party is, so could I have some pants? I need pants! I'm not drunk, you are! Where are my legs? Ahhhhhh, I'm not Spanish!

Rocko: Hey honey, I know we broke up in senior year. And I know I've already called you ten times tonight. But I wanted to tell ya...you're a little pudding pop that I want to suck on all day.
[Girl hangs up the phone]
Bobby Whiskey: Call her back.

Cal: I have nothing applicable to say about the current situation, guy.

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