VG Cats

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The truth is that all of us attain the greatest success and happiness possible in this life whenever we use our native capacities to their greatest extent.
Smiley Blanton
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VG Cats is a web comic by Scott Ramsoomair.


  • It's a RAT-FLAIL!!
  • OH GOD! RIGHT IN THE SOFT SPOT!! (after having a baby thrown at him by Aeris)
  • Ouch! My leg-benders!! (after being hit with an oar by Tom Nook)
  • ...Pikachu?
  • ...a face full of alien wing-wong?
  • Spare monies for a noob!!! Heal plz!!!! HOW I MINE FOR FISH!!!!!!!!!
  • Hay! A grl! Lets CYBER!!
  • Okay, maybe a little Satan.
  • And then she just started BEATING me with my brand new "Boxorz-o-roxorz"!
  • But I was going to astound the monsters with my nakedness. Death by indecency!
  • ...Would you see the future? (After ranting on how his behind can show people their futures)
  • holy man nipple! (animated series)


  • Hey sailor BEEF-CAKE how 'bout cos-playing as someone who BATHES!
  • Do you want to shoot him or should I?
  • Aeris: Greeting sir. Have you heard about the Life-stream?

Guy: You're selling what now?
Aeris: I'm a Jenova's witness travelling these parts, and spreading the word of Sephiroth. Will you be ready for Reunion?
Guy: Reunion?
Aeris: Yes. The day non-believers will be smoten in great joining of our mother.
Guy: So if I join, I'll be saved?
Aeris: Oh, no. you'll still die, but FASTER.
Guy: Pass.
Aeris: Oh well, It's not like you had a choice to begin with.
Guy: What's that supposed to me-*Gets impaled with a sword by Leo, who is dressed like Sephiroth*
Aeris: Horray! We've done Jenova's work. Praise Hojo!

  • Wait...I know who did this. It was that bastard Nintendo WASN'T IT!?
  • Why else do I enter society. To buy a game.
  • I'm going to start wounding you...and I'm not sure when I'm going to stop.


#11: Bah-Ram-Ewe


I've taken heavy losses and the Zerg have us pinned. If your reinforcements don't make it here soon it's all over!
Leo (over com)
Just a minute, I heard if you poke an Ursadon enough they'll explode!
What?!? I'm risking my god damn life here and you're poking critters?!?
Aeris (over com): What kind of f**ing moron goes and.. AH!! I'm hit!! *BANG BANG*… Take that you!! SCREEECH …AAAAHHHHH!!!! .. FOR THE SWARM!
Damn it, explode! [Poke Poke Poke]

#22: The Waiting Game

Wow! What an amazing and high detail error screen. You sure did get your money's worth on this…
Oh shut the hell up! This is nothing a quick phone call to tech support won't fix.

2 hours and no X-Box later…

Yes, I'm getting an error every time my X-Box loads up.
Microsoft tech support (over telephone)
Not a problem, if you just send it back to us we'll be sure to deliver a replacement right away Ms. Harris.
My name's Aeris.
Microsoft tech support
That's what I said, Aeris.

2 weeks and no X-Box later…

Microsoft tech support
I'm sorry but, we never send out any new systems. I'm not sure where you got that ide*fizzle* *kshhhh*
(Aeris has destroyed the cordless phone).

2 months and no X-Box later…

Microsoft tech support
Hello Ms. Harris, we're following up to see if you are enjoying your new X-Box…
Mrs. Harris…
TV Newscaster
At a press conference earlier today CEO of Microsoft, Bill Gates was strangled to death. Police were helpless if not unwilling to save Mr. Gates as they "Didn't really give a s**t". A sentiment shared by onlookers to this event as they commented "Have you ever tried using windows?!?" and "It's about time someone did it."
In other news, I'm not wearing any pants. More on this after the weather.

#25: The line just keeps getting longer

Pit from Kid Icarus
You know I was this close to getting into Smash Bros. It's all politics really…
The dog from Duck Hunt (thinking to himself)
Oh God, here he goes again.
Duke Nukem
Stupid Serious Sam stealing my thunder.
Just shut up! It wasn't funny the first time you said it, so why would it be funny the next 17 times!?!

#36: Look Ma' It's animated!

Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem

After much thought and deliberation I've decided to end this comic. I thank you for your viewership over the past year and hope that you have enjoyed it. Unfortunately recent obligations have forced me t_ _o this. I __er ____this co____ would ______ake ______rub gral___of bi_____ sora______________min___r_______s________

Not really happening!!!

#95: Songs of the Open Seas

Unreal Tournament

Wut buttun is fly up?/
Space Bar for the love of God, Space Bar!!

#114: That's Saying a Mouthful

It's about those alien face huggers. They clamp to your face and implant their babies into your stomach, right?
...Yeah, why?
Well wouldn't that mean they stick their, you know, down your throat?
Oh God. They're raping your face! That's horrible!
I tell ya. As if killing you isn't bad enough. You also get a face full of alien wing-wong.

#160: Start The Reactor

Spare monies for a noob?..Heal plz?..How I mine for fish?

#172: The Ragin' Cajun

Finally… You can't hurt da Blob!

Well not physically anyway.
Aeris (as Wolverine) to the Blob
You offend all of my super senses. By god I can taste the air around you. It's like bacon gone bad.

#173: Wise Advice

Edward Elric
At last we've found it, Al. The Philosopher..
Harry Potter and Edward Elric
Harry Potter
By the smelly hat of Gryffindor I command thee to back away shorty.
Edward Elric
What was that four eyes?
Harry Potter
Oh good show Oedipus! How's that mother complex?
Edward Elric
Bite me LARPer!
Harry Potter
A dashing rebuttal, really.
Edward Elric
How about you shut the hell up and I kick your ass. Equivalent exchange bitch!
Scar (to Al)
You know when your Mom says not to pick at it? Boy she wasn't kidding.
Alphonse Elric
Our Mom is a pus spewing, organ pile, sin against God.
Yikes. Um, good luck with that.

#187: Jorbs

Oh bloody hell, [my iPod's] frozen again? I just bought this!"
You think Steve Jobs is ever without his black turtleneck?
No, Never. It's the source of his power.
The power to oversell this ergonomic garbage with a straight face.
That's boring. Aquaman boring. I bet it's to hide some kind of disfiguring scar.
Like where his heart escaped?
Steve Jobs' Heart
Escaped? No. He said he didn't need me anymore. Then he put a cigarette out in my eye.
I'm suprised you have an eye.
Steve Jobs' Heart
Name me an Apple Product that doesn't.

#189: New Kids on the Blech

Edward Elric
Al… I'm going to transplant Mom's tulips.
Alphonse Elric
You can't brother! It's the greatest sin of all.
I don't care!

Later that Day

We shoudn't have played florist, brother!

Fullmetal Botanist

#201 Wright to Life

Maxis remake

Will Wright
So it's got butts for eyes?
Leo[as God]
He poops to see.
Will Wright
Why do you abuse my games so?

#209: Hail Victory!

Brave citizens of the land, fear not! The Republic of Morskoj has come to liberate you!
Feel liberated, houses! [Destroys apartment block]
Taste freedom, citizens! [Stomps on and squashes people]
Flower democracy... um... birch tree? [Tips tree over with claw]
[Rocket hits robot]
Oh, I'm going to liberate the shit out of you.

#217: Wardrobe

Refers to Final Fantasy XII.

Check out that gear. [Points to armour on wall rack.] It's a huge defense boost.
I don't think you can wear it yet.
What? Why not?
You don't have the License Points to wear hats yet.
I don't need License Points to know how to wear a freaking hat. What else am I going to do with it?
[with a brain-dead look on her face] Oh look! DUR! DUR! DUR! Hat go on foot, DUUUR!
We Dalmascans are pretty stupid like that. Without the experience points it's a wonder we can wipe our own ass.
[Now wearing hat on face.] Well I'm honestly ashamed of myself. Let's go kill Cactuar until I learn how to stop being retarded.

#229: Koopa!

Refers to 300.

All the king requires is this. A simple offering of earth and water. A token offering of submission to the will of Koopa.
[Next panel reveals he is standing on the edge of a chasm. fire Mario is pointing a flaming hand at him.]
Earth and fire... you'll find plenty of both down there.
This is blasphemy, plumber. This is madness!
[Shot of princess peach and then mario smiling]
[Change to original game sprites as Mario blasts Koopa off of chasm with fire flower]

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