Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories

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Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories is a video game developed by Rockstar Leeds in association with Rockstar North, published by Rockstar Games.

Victor "Vic" Vance

  • Look, Lance... I am a long way from being a good guy.
  • [threatening Umberto Robina with his pistol] Are you a comedian, friend?
  • [throttling Lance angrily] When will you grow a fucking brain?!
  • [to Lance] I told you not to get in so deep!
  • [to Lance] I'll give you a chance... one chance!
  • [to Lance] Lance, you useless degenerative asshole!
  • [to Phil] We ain't gonna do anything stupid, are we?
  • Yes, it does causes death dickweed!
  • Die street trash!
  • (when aiming a gun at civillians while as a soldier) Yes, this is a military dictatorship
  • I do this shit for a living
  • Another victim of guncrime
  • When it turns black, it means you are dead.

Lance Vance

  • Y'know, I'm your brother. You can trust me.
  • [yelling at Victor] Will you shut up, you stupid gorilla?!
  • Ladies and gentlemen... Let's pop!
  • This is the Lance Vance Dance!
  • I didn't know bikers were into disco.
  • It's all my coke and I'll do with it whatever I damn well please!
  • You treat me like I got herpes or something...
  • One more Lance Vance chance!
  • It's time for some Vance vengeance, baby!

Umberto Robina

  • You grown any cojones yet, lady boy?
  • [praising Victor] This is a real man, with a lot of balls!

Umberto Robina: So I ask you once more, are you men?
Cuban gang: Yeah!
Umberto Robina: Then why you not like balls?
Cuban gang: Because that is totally embar-
Umberto Robina: Because that's something you ain't got baby! I got a whole sackful here, tons of them! Balls everywhere, Balls to spare!

Ricardo Diaz

  • I've heard lot about you, Mr. Big.
  • Ah, Vic! At last, someone who isn't the missing link.

Phil Cassidy

  • [brandishing a revolver and mp5 ] I heard there was going to be a party, so I brought fireworks!
  • Drop your pants and prepare to cry. I'm gonna give you a shotgun suppository.
  • [referring to the police] Sometimes I schitz out and kill a lot of 'em.
  • [answering to Vic's question] We're breaking into a military base and I'm drunk. What could be more stupid?

Bryan Forbes

  • What's poppin'? Isn't that what you guys say? "What's poppin'"?
  • [To Vic and Lance] You wanna hear about a little plan that's going to make us three very rich?

Jerry Martinez

  • In here, you can call me Jerry.
  • Who wants trouble? Nobody. Everybody wants to relax. No trouble.
  • Because I gotta take registration. Besides, you're not on duty for a couple of days. Listen, you take my bike, you go over to the airport and you pick up a package for me, huh?
  • Chill the fuck out, man. You're really getting on my nerves. Besides, who are you going to get in trouble with? I'm your superior officer... And you told me you needed the money.
  • You'll be able to buy that sick brother of yours a whole lot of candy.
  • Hey Victor Vance... Did anyone ever tell you that you've got a really dumb name?
  • Whatever, baby. The thing is, you work for Phil, and Phil - Phil works for me. Which makes you... my bitch's bitch. Figure that out.
  • Ay, change the record, baby... fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. What did you expect me to do, huh? I didn't screw you over for fun. I was saving myself, and you would do the same. And don't pretend otherwise.
  • Oh, look who it is... Saint Victor of Vance, the holier-than-thou killer.
  • Hey if you weren't such a square, I would probably do you!
  • Hey, Come on. Relax!
  • Is this the best you could get me? I should've taken my chances with the Mendez brothers.
  • Hey! Some idiot is taking photos of me. What kind of security is this? He could have a gun - get me the hell out of here.
  • Looks like Vic's partying without me. Sweep the building. Finish that turd up to the roof so I can finish this.
  • Vic, still so uptight. You know what your problem is? You're trying to be the good guy in a bad man's game. Huh... I thought you had potential. Turns out you're just another chump... like Mendez.

Reni Wassulmaier

  • Oh darling, I'm a little bit of everything. I'm universal! Reni Wassulmaier!
  • It's 198-fucking-4, darling! Everyone is on cocaine!
  • Freak? I am no freak. I am artist. And I'm sensitive. Now I'm going to fucking kill you, you fucking filthy fuckers!
  • [introducing Vic and Barry to each other] Darling, this is darling. Darling, darling.
  • [Talking to Vic about sex change operations] I've only had 3!

Marty Jay-Williams

  • I'm Marty Jay-Williams.
  • [Laughing] Oh, here he is, tough boy! The big man!
  • Bitch, get your sorry ass out here!
  • Why would I hire a dog, then bark myself?

Barry Mickelthwaite

  • This is rock 'n' roll son, not flippin' flower-arranging!

Armando Mendez

  • Ah, siblings! Just like me and Diego... how apt.
  • You want me to kill you now? No problem!
  • So... Victor, Lance... who has been ripping us off? All of us, because now we are partners. A team, as it were. Four brothers.
  • Business is hard. This industry is full of...criminals.
  • Money can be so corrupting... I find it very distasteful.
  • Honesty is a very attractive quality. I'm promoting you, Vic.
  • Ah, my brother - what a conversationalist - only today, we were discussing philosophy - he is a great fan of Plato, but I have always been more Aristotelian... I think perhaps that is why he is so happy, and I am so weighed down by worry.
  • You must leave town of course, and give us control of your other interests. But you, your families, no one will die. This is fair.
  • Do you think you're hero enough to bring back the dead?
  • Senor, I assure you, they didn't feel a thing. Unfortunately, the same would would not be said of you.

Louise Cassidy-Williams

  • Hey Vic, you deserve good things, honey.
  • [To Victor] And you're wonderful! A wonderful, drug-dealing, thieving murderer.
  • You're a phony, Vic Vance!


  • Semper Fi, up your ass.

Mission Dialogue

(Mission Dialogue contains strong language!)

Mission: Fort Baxter

[Victor enters the office of the base. Sgt. Jerry Martinez is lying back on a chair with a cigar in one hand]

Victor Vance: Vic Vance, reporting for duty, sir!
Sgt. Jerry Martinez: [Laughing] Relax! Relax! Are you well?
Victor Vance: Yes! Thank you Sergeant!
Sgt. Jerry Martinez: Good! In here, you can call me Jerry!
Victor Vance: Okay...
Sgt. Jerry Martinez: Okay, Jerry, huh? [Sgt. Martinez laughs again] Now Vic, tell me, why did you sign up huh? To stay out of jail? Because you like getting shouted at, huh? What makes you polish you boots, and put bullets in your guns in the hopes that you get to shoot someone huh!? [Laughs]
Victor Vance: I got a difficult family! I got responsibilities!
Sgt. Jerry Martinez: What? Kids? A broad giving you shit, huh? [Sniffs]
Victor Vance: No, brothers! Uh, one is real sick, asthma and... I gotta pay the bills. The other, well, maybe sick too but in a different way. My mom's a mess.
Sgt. Jerry Martinez: So you joined the army to get rich?
Victor Vance: Not exactly... But you know my dad, he came here from D.R. We didn't have a lot of opportunities. What else was I supposed to do? Why did you join up?
Sgt. Jerry Martinez: To get rich!!! [Laughs loudly]
Victor Vance: What!? Why are you messing with me Sergeant?
Sgt. Jerry Martinez: I ain't, chill! Relax, take a seat!

[Victor sits down on a chair nearby]

Sgt. Jerry Martinez: Look, eh, there are plenty of opportunities for a man who knows the game to make real money. So...
Victor Vance: I don't want any trouble man!
Sgt. Jerry Martinez: Who wants trouble? Nobody! Everybody wants to relax! No trouble, and theres plenty of money to be made, nice and easy!
Victor Vance: [Victor stands up] Listen, I don't think this is for me! So if there's nothing else...
Sgt. Jerry Martinez: Hey! Relax, huh? C'mon, Vic! I need a favour, no risk!
Victor Vance: So, why do you need me if theres no risk?
Sgt. Jerry Martinez: Because I gotta take registration! Besides, your not on duty for a couple of days. Listen, take my bike, go over to the airport, and you pick up a package for me huh?
Victor Vance: Okay, but just this one favor! That's it!
Sgt. Jerry Martinez: Good!

[Victor leaves the office. He salutes Sgt. Jerry Martinez before exiting. Sgt. Jerry Martinez laughs out loud at Victor's salute]

[Outside Sgt. Jerry Martinez's office]

Sgt. Jerry Martinez: Listen, if plans change, I'll let you know!

[Sgt. Jerry Martinez hands Vic a pager]

Victor Vance: What's this?
Sgt. Jerry Martinez: It's a pager, tough guy! Welcome to the 80's Vic!

[At the airport. Victor spots the dealer by a jet plane]

Dealer: Hey, army boy! Jerry sent you? Si?
Victor Vance: Jerry? Ah, Sergeant Martinez! Sure!
Dealer: Heh heh heh! Come with me soldier, I've got something for your boss!

[The dealer leads Vic to a boat near a pier outside the airport. The boat has two good looking girls on board. One of the girls in in tight swim-wear is admired by Vic]

Victor Vance: Man! Life's been good to you!
Dealer: Hmmm-mmm! C'mon, let's take a ride!

[Both get on the boat. The boat sails off]

Dealer: Here's Jerry's stuff! Tell him my cut, goes up next time! Vice City's getting too peligrosso, for us freelancers!

[Two Fed boat's arrive at the scene of the deal]

Dealer: Speaking of which, we've got company! Grab that gun and take them out!

[Both boats fire a barrage of bullet's at the dealer's boat. Victor Vance returns fire from his M16. Both the dealer's girls die in the crossfire. The boat then starts to go up in flames]

Dealer: Abandoned ship!

[The Dealer and Victor jump off the boat before it explodes. Victor takes the "stuff" back to the army barracks] [Vic get's a pager from Martinez.]

Martinez: Hide the "stuff" in your barracks, man...

Mission: Jive Drive

[Whilst Lance is driving from the Cholo gang members]

Lance Vance: Is this your idea for Welcome Party?
Victor "Vic" Vance: C'mon, move it!
Lance Vance: Oh wait! Where the hell am I goin', man?
Victor "Vic" Vance: Hey, watch the road!

[Lance drives the car over a ramp,taking them into the air]

Lance and Vic Vance: Oh shit!

[The car lands without the Vance brothers getting hurt]

Lance Vance: I'm just too pretty to die! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Whoo!

[While Lance is driving, he spots a ramp for an escape from the Cholos]

Lance Vance: One more Lance Vance Chance!

[Lance drives his car straight up a big ramp, going high in the air]

Victor "Vic" Vance: Lance, you prick!

[Both the Vance brothers survive the jump. They leave their car in flames]'

Victor "Vic" Vance: You're never driving again!
Lance Vance: I've had it with you, man! You put me off! You always treat me like a kid.

[The car explodes behind them]

[Victor drops Lance at a fancy hotel, concluding the mission]

Victor "Vic" Vance: Wow! This place ain't cheap!
Lance Vance: Heh, I wouldn't know. I told them to bill you.

[The mission concludes]

Mission: White Lies

[Lance Vance is standing, watching an important event at his TV]

Lance Vance: Yeah! This is the Lance Vance Dance! You got to... Hop it... And uh... Yeah! Wow!

[The TV shuts off]

Victor "Vic" Vance: So this is where the coke is going? Up your nose?
Lance Vance: Hey Vic!
Victor "Vic" Vance: Hey Vic?
Lance Vance: What are you doing here?
Victor "Vic" Vance: You had me running around the town like a psycho! And all the while you're siphoning it off for your own personal use. You are unbelievable!
Lance Vance: Hey, I'm sorry... uh, look, can we talk about this later?

[Louise Cassidy-Williams walks into the room accidentally]

Louise Casidy-Williams: Oh, hey Vic... shit...
Victor "Vic" Vance: Louise! What the hell is going on?
Lance Vance: Well, uh, um... Uh, bro... Eh, eh! Bro, it ain't nothing like that!
Louise Cassidy-Williams: I wouldn't do that to you... I just needed something to take my mind off things.
Victor "Vic" Vance: So you fucked my brother?
Louise Cassidy-Williams: No! We were just high together. God damn, you are so judgmental, like your a damn saint or something. Why are you being such an asshole?
Victor "Vic" Vance: You are a mess.
Louise Cassidy-Williams: And you're wonderful. A wonderful drug dealing, thieving murderer!
Lance Vance: Come on guys...
Victor "Vic" Vance: I was doing it for us.
Louise Cassidy-Williams: Who are you trying to kid? You don't give a shit about me.
Victor "Vic" Vance: Not now I don't.
Louise Cassidy-Williams: You know what? You make me wanna puke. Ya self-righteous dick.
Victor "Vic" Vance: Ahhh. Get lost.
Louise Cassidy-Williams: Stay away from me you sick bastard. You're a phony Vic Vance.

[Louise Cassidy-Williams leaves the house. Lance and Vic are left quiet for a brief moment]

Lance Vance: What are ya gonna do?
Victor "Vic" Vance: Thanks a lot Lance.
Lance Vance: What? Listen - who cares? It's my coke. It's all my coke and I'll do with it, whatever I damn well please.

[Lance storms out of the house]

Trailer Dialogue

Lance Vance

Victor "Vic Vance: Know what? Let's do it.
Lance Vance: Alright! Ladies and Gentlemen, Let's Pop!

Ricardo Diaz Dialogue

Ricardo Diaz: You want a bump, man?
Victor "Vic" Vance: No.
Ricardo Diaz: Well, I do.

Armando Mendez

Armando Mendez: Are you trustworthy, friend?
Victor "Vic" Vance: I'd say... probably not.

Victor "Vic Vance: I ain't interested in that kind of business.
Armando Mendez: Unfortunately, you don't have a choice.

External links