Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

From Quotes
Brain cells create ideas. Stress kills brain cells. Stress is not a good idea.
Richard Saunders
Jump to: navigation, search

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is a 1971 comedy about a poor boy who wins the opportunity to tour the most eccentric and wonderful candy factory of all.

Directed by Mel Stuart and based on the book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
It's everybody's non-pollutionary, anti-institutionary, pro-confectionery factory of fun! Taglines

Willy Wonka

  • A small step for mankind, but a giant leap for us. [Misinterpretation of Neil Armstrong's famous quote upon being the first man to walk on the moon.]
  • The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last. [A quote from Oscar Wilde's "The Importance of Being Earnest."]
  • Candy is dandy; but liquor is quicker. [A poem by Ogden Nash.]
  • [as the Wonkamobile sprays foam everywhere] "Martha! Martha! Du entschwandest, Und mein Glück nahmst du mit dir; Gib mir wieder, was du fandest, Oder teile es mit mir." [From Friedrich von Flotow's opera Martha. Translation: "Martha! Martha! You have vanished, and you take my joy with you; Show me what you have found, or split it with me."]
  • Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple. [A reference to Thomas Alva Edison's famous aphorism.]
  • [singing] A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men. [A well-known proverb before Roald Dahl used it; Horace writes, "Misce stultitiam consiliis brevem: Dulce est desipere in loco."]
  • [Referring to the soda-powered Wonkamobile] A thing of beauty is a joy forever. [Quoting John Keats.]
  • All I ask is a tall ship and a star to sail her by. [From "Sea Fever" by John Masefield.]
  • [softly singing, then shouting, on the famous boat ride] There's no earthly way of knowing which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing, or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, so the danger must be growing. Are the Fires of hell a-glowing? Is the grizzly Reaper Mowing? Yes the danger must be growing for the rowers keep on rowing AND THEY'RE CERTAINLY NOT SHOWING ANY SIGNS THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!!
  • 'Round the world and home again, that's the sailor's way! [From "Homeward Bound" by William Allington.]
  • You should never, never doubt what nobody is sure about. [A quote from "The Microbe" by Hilaire Belloc.]
  • [singing] There is no life I know to compare with pure imagination. Living there, you'll be free if you truly wish to be.
  • [singing] If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it. Want to change the world? There's nothing to it.
  • [singing] In spring time, the only pretty ring time. Birds sing, hey ding, A-ding A-ding. Sweet Lovers love...the Spring. [from As You Like It by William Shakespeare.]
  • I told you not to silly boy.
  • No other factory in the world mixes its chocolate by waterfall. But it's the only way if you want it just... right.
  • Everything inside is eatable, I mean edible, I mean you can eat everything.
  • Well... Two naughty, nasty little children gone... Three good, sweet little children left.
  • For some moments in life there are no words.
  • Oh! I wouldn't do that. I really wouldn't.
  • [opening lock] Ninety-nine... forty-four... one hundred percent pure. [A reference to Ivory Soap, which was advertized as being '99.44% pure'.]
  • If the good lord had intended us to walk, he wouldn't have invented roller skates.
  • Hold your breath, make a wish, count to three...
  • [As he picks up the Everlasting Gobstopper relinquished by Charlie on his desk] "So shines a good deed in a weary world." [Paraphrased from William Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice, Act V, Scene 1. The word "naughty" was changed to "weary" for the movie.]
  • Little surprises around every corner but nothing dangerous!
  • Hurry! We have so much time and so little to do! Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.
  • Adieu! Adieu! Parting is such sweet sorrow. [From William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene 2. Originally "Good night! Good night! Parting etc."]
  • [with apathy] Stop. Don't. Come back.

Sam Beauregarde

  • Don't talk to me about contracts, Wonka, I use them myself. They're strictly for suckers.
  • I'LL GET EVEN WITH YOU FOR THIS, WONKA, IF IT'S THE LAST THING I EVER DO!!! (to himself) I got a blueberry for a daughter.
  • VIOLET, you're turning violet, Violet!

Oompa Loompas

  • Oompa loompa doompadee doo / I've got another puzzle for you / Oompa loompa doompadah dee / If you are wise you'll listen to me / Who do you blame when your kid is a brat / Pampered and spoiled like a siamese cat / Blaming the kids is a lie and a shame / You know exactly who's to blame / The mother and the father / Oompa loompa doompadee dah / If you're not spoiled then you will go far. / You will live in happiness too / Like the oompa loompa doompadee do.
  • Oompa loompa doopadee doo/I've got a perfect puzzle for you / Oompa loompa doopadee dee / If you are wise you'll listen to me/What do you get when you guzzle down sweets? / Eating as much as an elephant eats?/What are you at getting terribly fat? / What do you think will come of that? / I don't like the look of it / Oompa loompa doopade dah / If you're not greedy you will go far / You will live in happiness too / Like the oompa loompa doopade do / Doopade do.
  • Oompa loompa doopadee do / I've got another puzzle for you / Oompa loompa doopadah dee / If you are wise you'll listen to me/Gum chewing's fun for once in a while / It stops you from smoking and brightens your smile / But it's repulsive, revoulting, and wrong / To chew gum all day long / The way that a cow does / Oompa loompa doopadee dah / If you're good mannered you will go far / You will live in happiness too / Like the oompa loompa doopade do.
  • Oompa loompa doopadee do / I've got another puzzle for you / Oompa loompa doopadah dee / If you are wise you'll listen to me / What do you get from a glut of TV? / A pain in the neck and an IQ of 3 / Why don't you try simply reading a book? / Are you too stubborn to take a look? / You'll have no / You'll have no / You'll have no / You'll have no / You'll have no commercials / Oompa loompa doopadee dah / If you're not greedy you will go far / You will live in happiness too / Like the / Oompa / Oompa loompa doompa doopadee do.

Veruca Salt

  • [singing] I want the world. I want the whole world. I want to lock it all up in my pocket. It's my bar of chocolate. Give it to me now.
  • [singing] I want a party with roomfuls of laughter, / Ten thousand tons of ice cream, / And if I don't get the things I am after, / I'm going to SCREAM!
  • You're always making things difficult!
  • Let me out or I'll scream!
  • [singing] Don't care how, I want it now! Don't care how, I want it [plummets down the "bad egg" chute] noooooooooowwwwwwwww.....


  • The Tinker: "Up the airy mountain, down the rushy glen; We dare not go a-hunting, for fear of little men." [A quote from William Allingham's poem The Fairies] You see, nobody ever goes in....and nobody ever comes out!!
  • Charlie Bucket: [to Grandpa Joe] You know... I'll bet those golden tickets make the chocolate taste terrible.
  • Violet Beauregarde: What is this, a freak out?
  • Mrs. Teavee: I'm sending you the cleaning bill, Mr. Wonka!
  • Computer Inventor: I am now telling the computer exactly what he can do with a lifetime supply of chocolate!
  • T.V. Anchorman: Four down and one to go. And somewhere in this world, another person is moving closer and closer to winning the last of the most sought after prizes in history. Though we cannot help but envy him, whoever he is, and we may be tempted to be bitter in our own losing, we must remember that there are plenty more important things in life. Offhand, I can't remember what they are, but I'm sure there must be something.


Mr. Turkentine: That's right, you don't know because only I know. If you knew and I didn't know then you'd be teaching me instead of me teaching you, and for a student to be teaching his teacher is presumptuous and rude. Do I make my self clear?
Charlie Bucket: Yes, sir!

TV Reporter: Augustus, how does it make you feel to be the first Golden Ticket finder?
Augustus: Hungry.
TV Reporter: Any other feelings?
Augustus: Feel sorry for Wonka. It's gonna cost him a fortune in fudge.

Veruca: I wanted to be the first to find a Golden Ticket, Daddy.
Mr. Salt: I know, angel. We're doing the best we can. I've got every girl in the bleeding staff hunting for ya.
Veruca: All right! Where is it?! Why haven't they found it?
Mr. Salt: Veruca, sweetheart, I'm not a magician! Give me time!
Veruca: I want it now! What's the matter with those twerps down there!?
Mr. Salt: For 5 days now, the entire flipping factory's been on the job! They haven't shelled a peanut in there since MONDAY! They've been shelling flaming chocolate bars from dawn to dusk!
Veruca: Make 'em work nights!

Mr. Salt: Come along! Come along, you girls! Put a jerk in it! Or you'll be out in your ears! Every one of ya! And listen to this! The 1st girl that finds a Golden Ticket gets a £1 bonus in her pay packet! What do you think of that?!
[every worker cheers and gets back to work faster]
Veruca: They're not even trying. They don't want to find it. They're jealous of me.
Mr. Salt: Sweetheart, I can't push 'em no harder. 19,000 bars an hour, they're shelling. 760,000 they've done so far!
Veruca: You promised, Daddy! You promised I'd have it the very first DAY!
Mrs. Salt: You're going to be very unpopular around her, Henry, if you don't deliver soon.
Mr. Salt: It breaks my heart, Henrietta. I hate to see her unhappy.
Veruca: I won't talk to you ever again. You're a rotten, mean father! You never give me anything I want! And I won't go to school until I have it.
Mr. Salt: Veruca, sweetheart, angel. Now, there are only 4 tickets left in the whole world, (furiously) and the whole ruddy world's HUNTING for them!!! What can I DO!?!

Mr. Turkentine: Charlie Bucket, how many did you open?
Charlie: 2.
Mr. Turkentine: That's easy. 200 is twice 100--
Charlie: Not 200. Just 2.
Mr. Turkentine: 2?! What do you mean you only opened 2?!
Charlie: I don't care very much for chocolate.
Mr. Turkentine: Well, I can't figure out just 2! So let's pretend you opened 200. Now, if you opened 200 Wonka bars, apart from getting dreadfully sick, you would have used up 20% of one thousand, which is 15% half over again, 10%...

Sam Beauregarde: Come on, Violet. We're getting out of here.
Willy Wonka: Oh, you can't get out backwards. Gotta go forwards to go back. Better press on.

Willy Wonka: The strawberries taste like strawberries. The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!
Veruca: Snozzberries?! Who ever heard of a snozzberry?
[Wonka grabs her jaw]
Willy Wonka: We are the music makers... and we are the dreamers of dreams.

Violet: Well, they can't be real people.
Willy Wonka: Well, of course they're real people.
Mr. Salt: Stuff and nonsense!
Willy Wonka: No, Oompa Loompas.
The Group: Oompa Loompas?!
Willy Wonka: From Loompaland.
Mrs. Teevee: Loompaland? There's no such place.
Willy Wonka: Excuse me, dear lady...
Mrs. Teevee: Mr. Wonka, I am a teacher of geography.
Willy Wonka: Oh, well then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, "Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Wangdoodles and Hornswogglers and Snozzwangers and rotten Vermicious Knids."
Mr. Salt: Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids? What kind of rubbish is that?
Willy Wonka: I'm sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing. And so, in the greatest of secrecy I transported the entire population of Oompa Loompas to my factory here.
Veruca: Hey, Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa. I want you to get me an Oompa Loompa right away.
Mr. Salt: All right, Veruca, all right. I'll get you one before the day is out.
Veruca: I want an Oompa Loompa now!
Violet: Can it, you nit!

Mr. Salt: What is this, Wonka? Some kind of fun house?
Willy Wonka: Why? Having fun?

Augustus: [slurps from Wonka's chocolate river] Mmm! This stuff is teriffic!
Charlie: Grandpa, look at Augustus!
Grandpa Joe: Don't worry, Charlie. He can't drink it all.
Mrs. Gloop: Augustus, sweetheart! Save some room for later.
Wonka: Oh, uh, Augustus, please. My chocolate must never be touched by human hands. Please. DON'T DO THAT! Don't do that! You're contaminating my entire river! Please! I beg you! Augustus!
(Augustus suddenly falls into the river)
Wonka: My chocolate!
Augustus: Help!
Wonka: My chocolate! My beautiful chocolate.
Augustus: Hey!
Mrs. Gloop: Don't just stand there! Do something!
Wonka: (without spunk) Help. Police. Murder.

Mrs. Gloop: My son! He'll be made into marshmallows in 5 seconds!
Willy Wonka: Impossible, my dear lady. That's absurd. Unthinkable!
Mrs. Gloop: Why?!
Willy Wonka: Because that pipe doesn't go to the marshmallow room. It goes to the fudge room.
Mrs. Gloop: You terrible man!

Violet: (picking her nose): Spitting's a dirty habit!
Willy Wonka: (giving her a narrow look): I know a worse one.

Veruca: [Wonka has just handed Everlasting Gobstoppers out to all the remaining kids] Hey, she's got two! I want another one!
Violet: Stop squawking, you twit!
Willy Wonka: Everybody has had one and one is enough for anybody. Now come along. Now over here, if you'll follow me, I have something rather special to show you.
Mr. Salt: Well, it's special, all right. I hope my Veruca doesn't want one. [he laughs]

Willy Wonka: FINITO!
Veruca: That's all?
Willy Wonka: That's all?! Don't you know what this is?
Violet: By gum, it's gum!
Willy Wonka: Wrong! It's the most amazing, fabulous, sensational gum in the whole world!
Violet: What so fab about it?
Willy Wonka: This little piece of gum is a 3-course dinner.
Mr. Salt: Bull!
Willy Wonka: No, roast beef. But I haven't got it quite right yet.

[about Violet]
Charlie: Why doesn't she listen to Mr. Wonka?
Grandpa Joe: Because, Charlie, she's a nitwit.

Willy Wonka: All aboard, everybody.
Mr. Salt: Ladies first and that means Veruca.
Grandpa Joe: [to Charlie] If she's a lady, I'm a "Vermicious Knid".

Mr. Salt: Wonka, how much do you want for the golden goose?
Willy Wonka: They're not for sale.
Mr. Salt: Name your price.
Willy Wonka: She can't have one.
Veruca Salt: Who says I can't?!
Mr. Salt: The man with the funny hat.
Veruca: I want one! I want a golden goose.

[After Veruca falls down the chute]
Willy Wonka: She was a bad egg.
Mr. Salt: Where's she gone?
Willy Wonka: Where all the other bad eggs go: down the garbage chute.
Mr. Salt: [laughs heartily] Oh, the garbage chute. Where does it lead to?
Willy Wonka: To the furnace.
Mr. Salt: [laughs heartily] The furnace?! She'll be sizzled like a sausage.
Willy Wonka: Well, not necessarily. She could be stuck just inside the tube.
Mr. Salt: [laughs heartily] Inside the...
[he starts suddenly in shock and runs]
Mr. Salt: Hold on! Veruca! Sweetheart! Daddy's coming!
[jumps down the chute]
Willy Wonka: There's gonna be a lot of garbage today.
Grandpa Joe: Well, Mr. Salt finally got what he wanted.
Charlie: What's that?
Grandpa Joe: Veruca went first.

Charlie: Hey, Grandpa, what was that we just went through?
Willy Wonka: Hsawaknow.
Mrs. Teevee: Is that Japanese?
Willy Wonka: No, that's Wonkawash spelled backwards. That's it, ladies and gentlemen. The journey is over.

Mike: (about his plastic gun) Wait 'til I get a real one: Colt .45. Pop won't let me have one yet, will ya, Pop?
Mr. Teevee: Not 'til you're 12, son.

Willy Wonka: Well, fortunately, small boys are extremely springy and elastic. So I think we'll put him in my special taffy-pulling machine. That should do the trick.
[to an Oompa-Loompa]
Willy Wonka: To the taffy-pulling room. You'll find the boy in his mother's purse. But be extremely careful.
Mrs. Teevee: To the t-t-t... taffy-pulling room? What's he saying?!
[Oompa-Loompa whispers to Wonka]
Willy Wonka: No, no. I won't hold you responsible. [to Mrs. Teevee, who has started babbling incoherently and then fainted] And now, my dearest lady. It's time to say goodbye. No, no, don't speak. For some moments in life there are no words. Run along now.
[The Oompa-Loompas drag her out]

Charlie: Mr. Wonka, what's gonna happen to the other kids? Augustus? Veruca?
Willy Wonka: My dear boy, I promise you they'll be quite all right. When they leave here, they'll be completely restored to their normal, terrible old selves. But maybe they'll be a little bit wiser for the wear. Anyway, don't worry about them.
Grandpa Joe: Eh, what do we do now, Mr. Wonka?
Willy Wonka: Yes, well...I hope you've enjoyed yourselves. Excuse me for not showing you out. Straight up the stairs, you'll find the way. I'm terribly busy. Whole day wasted. Good-bye to you both, Goodbye. [darts into his office and shuts the door, leaving Charlie and Grandpa Joe concerned]
Charlie: What happened? Did we do somethin' wrong?
Grandpa Joe: I don't know, Charlie. (pauses; suspiciously) But I'm gonna find out.

Grandpa Joe: Mr. Wonka?
Willy Wonka: I am extraordinarily busy, sir.
Grandpa Joe: I just wanted to ask about the chocolate, the lifetime supply of chocolate, for Charlie. When does he get it?
Willy Wonka: He doesn't.
Grandpa Joe: Why not?
Willy Wonka: Because he broke the rules.
Grandpa Joe: What rules? We didn't see any rules, did we, Charlie?
Willy Wonka: (angrily) Wrong, sir! WRONG! Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void IF - and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy! - "I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained," et cetera, et cetera..."Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum," [the torch of the mind lights the path to glory] et cetera, et cetera..."MEMO BIS PUNITOR DELICATUM"!! [I remember the spoiled punisher twice] It's all there! Black and white, clear as crystal! You STOLE Fizzy-Lifting Drinks! You BUMPED into the ceiling, which now has to be WASHED and STERILIZED, so you get... NOTHING!!! You LOSE!! GOOD DAY, SIR!!
(he returns to work)
Grandpa Joe: (shocked) You're a crook... (furiously) You're a cheat and a swindler...! That's what you are! How can you DO a thing like this?! Build up a little boy's hopes, and then smash all his dreams to pieces?! (lividly) YOU'RE AN INHUMAN MONSTER...!!!
Willy Wonka: I SAID "GOOD DAY!!!" (he goes on about his work)
Grandpa Joe: Come on, Charlie, let's get out of here. (sets to leave) I'll get even with him if it's the last thing I ever do. If Slugworth wants a Gobstopper, he'll get one.

Willy Wonka: (puts his hand on the Everlasting Gobstopper that Charlie has just given up to him, while writing) "So shines a good deed in a weary world." (looks up) Charlie? My boy. You've WON! You DID it! YOU DID IT!! I KNEW you would! I just KNEW you would!! Oh, Charlie, forgive me for putting you through this. Please, forgive me. Come in, Mr. Wilkinson! (said man originally known as Slugworth walks in) Charlie, meet Mr. Wilkinson!
Wilkinson: Pleasure!
Charlie: Slugworth!
Willy Wonka: No, no! That's not Slugworth. He works for me!
Charlie: For you?
Willy Wonka: I had to test you, Charlie. And you passed the test! You WON!
Grandpa Joe: Won what?!
Willy Wonka: The JACKPOT, my dear sir! The grand and glorious jackpot!
Charlie: The chocolate?
Willy Wonka: The chocolate, yes! The chocolate, but that's just the beginning! We hafta get on! We hafta get on! We have so much time, and so little to do! Strike that. Reverse it. This way, please!


  • It's everybody's non-pollutionary, anti-institutionary, pro-confectionery factory of fun!
  • It's Scrumdiddlyumptious!
  • Your golden ticket to imagination and adventure!
  • Charlie is let loose in the chocolate factory and every kid's dream comes true.
  • Enter a world of pure imagination.


External links