Your Friend the Rat (short)
There is one thing that matters—to set a chime of words tinkling in the minds of a few fastidious people.Logan Pearsall Smith
- Directed and written by Brad Bird.
- Remy: Hello, I'm Remy. And this is my brother, Emile.
- Emile: Hi!
- Remy: We're here to speak out on behalf of oppressed rats everywhere. Rats who don't have access to media that our movie supports us.
- Emile: (bored) Speaking out?!
- Remy: Yes, we have to! We rats need to take a stand!
- Emile: You said we'd sing somethin', ya know, joke around! You did not say we were gonna take a stand.
- 'Remy: This is important! Humans need to know! Humans need to-
- Emile: (to audience) Feed us! That's what you need. Leave some garbage out, and we won't bother you.
- Remy: This is a man.
- Linguini: Hello!
- Remy: A dog, man's best friend, looks up to man. A cat looks down on man. We rats see ourselves as equal to man, but you humans don't seem to see it that way. (army starts shooting dozens of bombs and missiles) SO IT'S BEEN WAR! A WAR WITHOUT END!
(after scene of rats and Black Death)
- Remy: Wait, wait, so wrong! This isn't how we rehearsed!
- Supervisor: What's the problem?
- Remy: It doesn't go from rats in darkness to rats in death skulls!
- Supervisor: Uh, well, our scripts says 'rats'-
- Remy: You forgot the flea! The rat didn't cause the Plague! The flea caused the Plague! The flea is the whole point!
- Emile We came from China but we're called Norway Rats?
- Remy I'm getting to that. British naturalist John Berkenhout named us Norway Rats believing we had come to England on a Norwegien boat. The silly thing is the Brown Rat didn't live in Norway at the time. More likely, we came from Denmark, but the name just stuck.
- Emile: Wait, now we're from Denmark?
- Remy: Let it go.
- Remy: Adaptable like humans, the Norway rats lived throughout the world, except the North Pole and South Pole.
- Emile: What about that spot?
- Remy: That's Alberta, Canada. In 1950, rats invaded on the Southeast border of Alberta, but were repelled by an impressive government rat control program.
- Emile: Can we sing the song now? (music plays, singing) We'll follow you to Marrrr...
- Remy: No no no no no no no. Stop.
- Remy: Now, 'Why Rats are Cool'. Every day, rats-
- Emile: Hey, wait a minute! You said I could this part. (achem) It's little something I'm calling, "What's Cool About Rats". Every day, rats eat 10% of our body weight! You gotta love that! Our favorite foods are scrambled eggs, macaroni and cheese, white bread, I'm getting hungry! Our teeth can cut through solid wood, lead pipe, cinder blocks, even steel, with the biting force of 24,000 pounds per square inch!
- Emile: A rat can swim for three days, and yes, we can enter your home through the toilet. (man screams)
- Emile: Some people have pet rats called 'fancy rats.' Why are they called 'fancy rats'?
- Remy: Keep going!
- Emile: Key of G, and swing it.
- Remy and Emile: We'll follow you to Mars, or wherever you people go!
- Rat: We rats are right there down below!
- Remy and Emile: We've traveled near and far, with Swamis, Geshesias, Thugs, and Czars, and planes and boats, and submarines. We've sailed to Liverpool to Queens, we're even in Qatar, or wherever you people go! We all adore Francois Truffaut! Abandon musophobia and embrace a new utopia!
- Emile: Butterflies and puppy dogs, summer evenings, crispy frogs!
- Remy and Emile: Imagine if you will a world were women, rats, and men and children lived in peace and harmony, we're even holding hands. We're dancing through the streets and singing cabaret songs, Ooh la la la! Join with us, we'll make a human ratty wonderland! We'll help you tie your shoes if you don't feel like bending over, and perhaps you'll take that trap from out behind the pantry door! We'll say, 'Bonjour!' and 'How's the family?', when we pass each other on the street, and just like that, we won't be strangers anymore! So here we go to Mars, with our stories intertwined, and although once you tried to kill us, now we know that you won't mind. We'll journey through the stars and whatever else may be!
- Remy: We all hate that lousy flea!
- Emile: (solo)That lousy fleeeeeeeaa!!
- Disclaimer: (rapidly) The views expressed are not necessarily the views of the Pixar Animation Studios or the Walt Disney Company. Interaction between rats and humans shoud be deemed...
- Remy: (as Disclaimer continues) Oh no, no, this isn't over yet. Oh no no. E-Emile, how many times did I say they were gonna flap something in the end, and now they're doing it (pushing away disclaimer), now look at this! It's like it's in their DNA!
- Disclaimer: ..not limited to, rat-bite fever, rat-borne typhus, trichinosis (Emile tries to block disclaimer, voice deepens) Bubonic Plague...
- Emile: (Disclaimer pushes Emile up and continues) Whoa!
- Remy: I'm-I'm surprised, I'm surprised. Guys! It's typical!
- Disclaimer: ...and their employees, agents, officers, aunts...
- Remy: You know what? Our voice will not be denied!!
- Emile: (exasperated) You've had your say! Can we please get something to eat?! (leaves with Remy)
- Disclaimer: ...caused by your silly insistance on rat interaction.
- If you look closely, almost all the humans in this short look a little like Linguini, one of the characters in the film.
- During the song, when Remy and Emile are seen on a rocket ship in Mars, you can see Wall-E, the star of Pixar's next animated feature, driving at the front.
- The official Ratatouille site