From Quotes
The happiest people are those who think the most interesting thoughts. Those who decide to use leisure as a means of mental development, who love good music, good books, good pictures, good company, good conversation, are the happiest people in the world. And they are not only happy in themselves, they are the cause of happiness in others.
William Lyon Phelps
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Yu-Gi-Oh!, a Japanese animated television show.

Yu-Gi-Oh! (Toei original)

Dark Yugi: It's game time. [JPN: Geemu no jikanda]

Season One (Duelist Kingdom)

Joey: Hey Kaiba, maybe we should duel sometime.

Kaiba: No thanks, I think I'll have much more of a challenge playing solitaire.

Kaiba: Draw your last pathetic card so I can end this, Yugi!

Yami: My grandfather's deck has no pathetic cards, Kaiba. But it does contain... the unstoppable Exodia!

Kaiba: Exodia? It-it's not possible! No one's ever been able to call him!

Kaiba: No! How could I lose!?

Yami: If you really want to know, Kaiba, open your mind!

Solomon: All right, can you name the strongest duel monster?

Joey: No.

Solomon: You do know what a trap card is, don't you?

Joey: Kinda... I have no idea.

Guard: Hey you, what are you doing? Get out of there! Only official contestants are allowed onboard.

Joey: How do you know I'm not official?

Guard: Because official duelists aren't trying to sneak into the ship through the lower hatches.

Yugi: Joey has a star chip. Didn't he tell you?

Joey: I do?

Joey: Yugi, I want to apologize. I've really been acting like a jerk.

Yugi: Oh! Were you acting?

Yugi: Uh, Joey, I don't think we should cook the candy bars.

Joey: Back off! I know what I'm doing!

Tristan: Drooling monsters?

Yugi, Tea and Joey: DUELING MONSTERS!

Joey: Dueling dinosaurs versus itsy-bitsy bugs? Raptor has got this one in da bag!

Weevil: I'm gonna take you out in one giant bug blitzkrieg!

Weevil: Say good-bye to The Unstoppable Exodia!

Joey: Just look at it this way, Tea, there are two Yugis - the cool one up there and the puny one down here!

Yugi: [After he falls over] Urghhhhhhh! That's not how it works at all!

Joey: Calm down! It's just a joke, man!

Yugi: I'll show you who's puny... remember here I have the power of Dark Magician!

Joey: Uh, Yugi?

Yugi: [Turns to Bakura's monster] Dark Magic Attack!

Yugi: Did you find out anything?

Joey: Yeah, I found out I hate virtual dogs.

Bakura: Check his pulse, Yugi!

Yugi: You've fought a valiant duel, my friend, and this is the hardest move I've ever had to make. But this ends now!

Yami: Exodia, OBLITERATE!!!

Tea: No matter how dark things may get, the special bond I share with my friends will always find a way to shine through! I may be scared, but that fear won't keep me from dueling!

Yugi: [Transforming into Yami Yugi] YU-GI-OOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!

Season Two (Battle City)

Tristan: Yeah, brilliant, putting the rod in the hole and pulling really hard.

Joey: Say what!?

Tristan: Say nothing!

Yugi: Calm down, you two, or I won't share my hospital food with you!

Joey and Tristan: [In unison] We'll be good.

Yugi: Ready or not, Spirit, this is where you take over.

Yami: [Shouting at the Millennium Puzzle] Hey Yugi... I'm not... you can't... this isn't a duel! [Sees Tea watching] Oh, hello.

Marik: Silence! No one can resist my Millennium Rod!

Mokuba: What a digital dummy!

Season Three (Enter the Shadow Realm)

Noah: So, you think I'm insane for wanting to claim what's rightfully mine?

Kaiba: No, I think you're insane for trapping me in a virtual computer program and forcing me to duel you!

Gozaboro: Seto, don't you realize I treated you better than I even treated my own son?

Kaiba: Thanks for nothing.

Tristan: [Sees Kaiba and Mokuba in their Blue-Eyes White Jet] Where does he get this stuff?!

Tea: Oh, who cares...

Joey: You mean to tell me they were safe all along?!

Duke: Let's be glad it's all over now...

Mokuba: [Sees the gang flying in the KC rescue chopper] Hey, why they are traveling with the helicopter, Seto?

Kaiba: [Smiles] Mm? Oops... I guess the other ship wasn't fixed yet!

Tea: [Shouting] Noah, you think you're really tough, don't you?

Noah: Why, yes.

Noah: [His final line in the anime] I am a human, not a machine.

Nesbit: Yes, a five! That must be good!

Duke: Sorry to disappoint you, but rolling a five cuts your attack points in half.

Nesbit: What?! There's no logic to this dice game at all!

Season Four (Waking the Dragons)

Joey: Now why does all these weird stuff always happen to us? [Yugi is silent] You've gotta admit, it's true.

[Rebecca runs up to meet Yugi]

Rebecca: Yugi! [Squeezes Yugi]

Yugi: [Very suprised] Uh, hey....you!

Rebecca: Oh no, don't tell me you forgot about me already!

Tristan: Yet another weird event to add to the list.

Joey: And this one tops them all.

Tristan: It's probably best if we don't interfere!

Tea: [Leaning towards Yugi] Do you know this person, Yugi?

Yugi: Um, I don't think so.

Rebecca: Maybe this will refresh your memory! [Holds up the Ties of Friendship card]

Yugi: [After flashback] Ah, Rebecca!

Joey: It's that brat!

Rebecca: Hi! [Big smile; waves her hand]

Joey: Wait, she looks different. Did she get a haircut or something?

Tristan: No, she traded her teddy bear for glasses.

Rebecca: [Squeezing Yugi] I don't need a bear... now that I've got a boyfriend to protect me!

Tea: [Angrily] Um, excuse me? A boyfriend!?

Rebecca: [Another squeeze] My grandpa is also really excited to see you Yugi!

Yugi: Professor Hawkins?

Rebecca: Yeah, he's waiting at the Museum.

Tea: Grrr... [Anime vein throb]

Joey: Monsters?

Tristan: For real?

Tea: Oh no.

Kaiba: If I had a nickel for every time you said the word 'destiny,' I'd be even richer.

[The gang meets up with Kaiba after he defeats Alister]

Joey: So you dueled this guy on top of a moving plane?

Kaiba: Maybe I did. Don't you geeks have someone else to annoy?

Tristan: Next time, warn me before you're going to save yourself!

Season Five (Dawn of the Duel)

[After the Yugi won the duel against the computer in Kaiba Dome]

Joey: So Yugi, about that Underdog card... you said it reminds you of someone...

Yami: [Surprised] I did? Yes, well... Um... [To Yugi] A little help here? [Winks and switches with a blushing Yugi]

Yugi: Huh? ...Oh, that's real mature, Pharaoh! [Still blushing; looks at Joey] Er...

Joey: [Playfully locks Yugi's head in his arms] So, Yuge, everyone else seems to think that Underdog card reminds you of me.

Yugi: Well, um, let me put this in the best way possible: the card reminded me of you because when the odds are against you, you always pull through.

Tristan: I can see it on your business cards right now: Joey Wheeler, Executive Underdog.

Joey: [Angered] Hey!

Yami Bakura: I am a thief and a stealer of souls...

Yami Bakura: You cannot defeat me, for I am the shadows, and the shadows never die!

Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie (Pyramid of Light)

Joey: Kicks to the stomach don't work.

Tristan: Neither do kicks to the head.

Tea: Hmm... wonder what all the commotion's about?

Joey: Dunno, but I haven't seen this many people running from school since they served meatloaf surprise last year.

Joey: If you wanna get to the King of Games, you'll have to go through me, the... uhh... da Godfaddah a' Games, capice?!

[Yugi runs from the mummies]

Joey and Tristan: [In unison] Yugi!?

Yugi: [Runs past them] Talk later! Run now!

Joey: What's with him? [He and Tristan see the mummies run towards them]

Joey and Tristan: Zoinks!

Tea: Yugi?

Yugi: [Opens eyes after his vision] Tea... would you read me the story about the bunny?

Tea: ...I'm going to pretend that was the concussion talking and forget about it.

Anubis: [After he is revived as a monster] It is no longer time to duel. Now it is time to die!

Joey: [To the duelist who had called him a nobody] Hey! Nobody by nobody calls me a nobody, you bunch of nobodies!

Kaiba: [To Pegasus after their duel] That's all, folks.

Pegasus: [After Anubis was defeated] No one could return after suffering a defeat as thoroughly devastating as that--well, no one but Kaiba, that is--I'm sorry, did I say that aloud?

Yu-Gi-Oh! Capsule Monsters

Tristan: [Talking to himself] Who's the man? I'm the man! I can't hear you! I'm the man!

Grandpa: Well, as those kids would say, time to kick it old school.

Village Girl: Divine One, please hear me.

Joey: I hear ya, but please, call me Joey.

Joey: You gotta be out of your turban, bro!

Yami: Sorry, slight miscalculation on my part.


Yami: [During the series' opening theme] It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!


Kaiba: Mutts shouldn't disobey their masters...

Joey: I'm bad, you know it! I'm bad, I'll show it!!

Joey: Just bring it on, money bags!

Tristan: Don't worry, Joey. I'll be sure to take Serenity to the hospital for you. [Winks in a flirtatious manner toward Serenity]

Joey: [Angry in a protective motion] Argh, Tristan! I'll take you to the hospital!!

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