From Quotes
Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.
Henry Miller
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Futurama (1999–2003, 2007-) is an animated television series created by Matt Groening and David X. Cohen. Set in the year 3000, the series follows Philip J. Fry, a 20th century human who was cryogenically frozen in the year 1999, and his friends and coworkers at the Planet Express delivery company.

Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4
Space Pilot 3000 I Second That Emotion Amazon Women in the Mood Kif Gets Knocked Up A Notch
The Series Has Landed Brannigan Begin Again Parasites Lost Leela's Homeworld
I, Roommate A Head in the Polls A Tale of Two Santas Love and Rocket
Love's Labors Lost in Space Xmas Story The Luck of the Fryrish Less Than Hero
Fear of a Bot Planet Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love? The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz A Taste of Freedom
A Fishful of Dollars Lesser of Two Evils Bendless Love Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV
My Three Suns Put Your Head on my Shoulder The Day The Earth Stood Stupid Jurassic Bark
A Big Piece of Garbage Raging Bender That's Lobstertainment Crimes of the Hot
Hell Is Other Robots A Bicyclops Built For Two The Cyber House Rules Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles
A Flight to Remember A Clone of My Own Where the Buggalo Roam The Why of Fry
Mars University How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back Insane in the Mainframe Where No Fan Has Gone Before
When Aliens Attack The Deep South The Route of All Evil The Sting
Fry and the Slurm Factory Bender Gets Made Bendin' in the Wind Bend Her
Mother's Day Time Keeps on Slippin' Obsoletely Fabulous
The Problem With Popplers I Dated a Robot The Farnsworth Parabox
Anthology of Interest I A Leela of Her Own Three Hundred Big Boys
War Is the H-Word A Pharaoh to Remember Spanish Fry
The Honking Anthology of Interest II Devil's Hands are Idle Playthings
The Cryonic Woman Roswell That Ends Well
Future Stock
The 30% Iron Chef

Season 1

Space Pilot 3000

Fry: Whoa…a real live robot; or is that some kind of cheesy New Year's costume?
Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass.
Fry: It doesn't look so shiny to me.
Bender: Shinier than yours, meatbag.

Fry: Why would a robot need to drink?
Bender: I don't need to drink. I can quit anytime I want!

The Series Has Landed

Leela: Fry, we have a crate to deliver.
Fry: Well, let's just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it.
Bender: Too much work. Let's burn it and say we dumped it in the sewer.
Leela: OK, if everyone's finished being stupid—
Fry: I had more, but you go ahead.
Leela: We'll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we'll go home.
Fry: But I've never been to the moon!
Leela: Ok, we'll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we'll go ride the bumper cars.

Amy: Leela's gonna kill me.
Bender: No, she'll probably make me do it.

I, Roommate

[Professor Farnsworth is talking on the phone.]
Professor Farnsworth: Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? ...To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? ...To shreds, you say.

Bender: Of all the friends I've had... you're the first.

Love's Labors Lost in Space

Zapp Brannigan: Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.

Leela: Look, last night was a mistake.
Zapp Brannigan: A sexy mistake.
Leela: No, just a regular mistake.

Fear of a Bot Planet

Robot #1: Administer the test.
Robot #2: Which of the following would you most prefer? A: a puppy, B: a pretty flower from your sweety, or C: a large properly formatted data file?
Robot #1: Choose!
Fry: Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way?
Robot #2: No, it is the bad kind of puppy.
Leela: Then we'll go with that data file!
Robot #2: Correct!
Robot #1: The flower would also have been acceptable.

Fry: We're rescuing ya.
Bender: I don't want to be rescued.
Fry: Say what?
Bender: I love this planet! I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring.

A Fishful of Dollars

Amy: Guh! It's Mom, the world's most huggable industrialist.

[Fry starts playing an audio tape recording of Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back."]
Leela: Fry, you can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.
Fry: I could if you hadn't turned on the light and shut off my stereo.

My Three Suns

Leela: This is my first visit to the Galaxy of Terror and I'd like it to be a pleasant one.

Fry: It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?

A Big Piece of Garbage

Professor Farnsworth: I daresay that Fry has discovered the smelliest object in the known universe!
Bender: Ooh, name it after me!

[The Planet Express crew have watched an online movie about the solution to the garbage problem in New York.]
Fry: Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography.
Professor Farnsworth: Actually, that's still true.
[In the movie]
Female Scientist: Now that the, uh, garbage ball is in space, Doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions?
Male Scientist: With gusto.

Hell Is Other Robots

Bender: Hey, what kinda party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker.

Professor Farnsworth: Oh, why couldn't he have picked a more mainstream religion, like Oprahism, or voodoo?

A Flight to Remember

Bender: You guys go on without me! I'm going to go... look for more stuff to steal!
Fry: You're going back for the Countess, aren't you?
Bender: Oh, all right, I am. But if anything happens to me, tell them I died robbing some old man.
Fry: I'll tell them you went down prying the wedding ring off his cold, dead finger.
Bender: I love you, buddy!

Countess de LaRoca: Bender, you risked your life to save me!
Bender: And I'd do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it.

Mars University

Fatbot: I heard that in one single night, you drank a whole keg, streaked across campus and crammed 58 humans into a phone booth.
Bender: Yeah... well... a lot of them were children.

Professor Farnsworth: Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn't I break his legs?

When Aliens Attack

Fry: Hey, quit it, Hermes. It's Labor Day.
Hermes: Labor Day? That phony-baloney holiday crammed down our throats by fat-cat union gangsters?
Fry: That's the one.
Hermes: Hot damn, a day off!

Zapp Brannigan: The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep.
Fry: You mean while I'm sleeping in it?
Zapp Brannigan: You won't have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you'll be doing.

Fry and the Slurm Factory

Professor Farnsworth: Who are those horrible orange creatures over there?
Glermo: Why, those are the Grunka-Lunkas! They work here in the Slurm factory.
Professor Farnsworth: Tell them I hate them.

Fry: My God! What if the secret ingredient…is people!?
Leela: No, there's already a soda like that. Soylent Cola.
Fry: Oh. How is it?
Leela: It varies from person to person.

Season 2

I Second That Emotion

Professor Farnsworth: And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet.

Bender: You guys realize you live in a sewer, right?
Dwayne: Perhaps, but perhaps your civilization is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you!
Leela: No. We're on the top.
Fry: Daylight and everything.
Vyolet: It must be wonderful.
Bender: Meh.

Brannigan Begin Again

Zapp Brannigan: Throw her in the brig.
Fry: We don't have a brig.
Zapp Brannigan: Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as the brig.

Zapp Brannigan: One day a man has everything. The next day he blows up a 400 billion dollar space station. And the next day he has nothing. It makes you think.
Kif: No, it doesn't.

A Head in the Polls

Bender: Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.
Professor Farnsworth: But, like most politicians he promised more than he could deliver.

Morbo: Morbo will now introduce tonight's candidates... PUNY HUMAN NUMBER ONE, PUNY HUMAN NUMBER TWO, and Morbo's good friend, Richard Nixon.
Richard Nixon's Head: Hello Morbo, how's the family?
Morbo: Belligerent and numerous.
Richard Nixon's Head: Good man. Nixon's pro-war and pro-family.

Xmas Story

Professor Farnsworth: Dear God, they'll be killed on our doorstep! And there's no trash pickup until January 3rd.

Bender: I'm very generous. What about that time I gave blood?
Fry: Whose blood?
Bender: Eh, some guy's.

Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love?

Dr. Zoidberg: Hmm, this love intrigues me. Teach me to fake it!

Dr. Zoidberg: Now Fry, it's been a few years since medical school so remind me. Disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal?

Lesser of Two Evils

Voice on T.V.: Is today's hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient?
Bender: Shut up and get to the point!

Fry: Bender?! You stole the atom.
Bender: I can explain. It's very valuable.

Put Your Head on my Shoulder

Fry: Hey, tell me something. You've got all this money. How come you always dress like you're doing your laundry?
Amy: I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though.
Fry: I've been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope?
Amy: Yeah, and if you were the pope they'd be all, "Straighten your pope hat." And "Put on your good vestments."

Bender: Ah, computer dating. It's like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase "upside your head."

Raging Bender

Professor Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! I've taught the toaster to feel love!

Leela: Bender, let's hit the gym. I'm going to teach you to fight like a girl.
Bender: [in low, menacing tones] I'll put on my tutu.

A Bicyclops Built For Two

Bender: Behold, the internet.
Fry: My God, it's full of ads!

[Bender is disguised as a sexy nurse, talking to a chat room participant.]
Bender: Hi, I'm a naughty nurse, and I really need someone to talk to. $9.95 a minute.
Chat room participant: Oh, you're a dollar naughtier than most.
[He hands Bender the money.]
Bender: So, how 'bout them Knicks?

A Clone of My Own

Cubert: Your explanations are pure weapons grade balognium. It's all impossible.
Professor Farnsworth: Nothing is impossible. Not if you can imagine it. That's what being a scientist is all about.
Cubert: No, that's what being a magical elf is all about.

Professor Farnsworth: Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp. Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. Cruel though they may be...

How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back

[Hermes is threatening to jump off a building.]
Planet Express Crew: No! Don't jump!
Bender: Do a flip!

Number 1.0: Guards! Give me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away!

The Deep South

[Fry is presented with an egg-sized pill which will allow him to withstand the pressure underwater.]
Fry: Are you crazy? I can't swallow that.
Professor Farnsworth Well, then good news! It's a suppository.

Leela: Where's Fry?
Bender: I didn't kill him. Professor?
Professor Farnsworth: No, I've been busy.

Bender Gets Made

Supplicant: Please, Don-Bot... look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file!
Don-Bot: File not found.

Don-Bot: Alright, let's mafia things up a bit. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew.

Mother's Day

Professor Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! There's a report on TV with some very bad news!

Greeting Card: Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets!
Bender: Um, is this the boring, peaceful kind of taking to the streets?
Greeting Card: No! The kind with looting and maybe starting a few fires!
Bender: Yes! In your face, Gandhi!

The Problem With Popplers

Fry: They're like sex, except I'm having them!

Professor Farnsworth: There's one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain!

Anthology of Interest I

Professor Farnsworth: You've killed me! Oh, you've killed me!
Leela: Oh God, what have I done?
Professor Farnsworth: I just told you! You've killed me!

Hermes: What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! It is! My precious torso!

War Is the H-Word

Bender: This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me!

Soldier: This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.
Fry: And then the battle's not so bad?
Soldier: Oh right. I forgot about the battle.

The Honking

Bender: And until then, I can never die?
Fortune-Telling Robot: Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?!
Bender: No! I want to live! There's still too many things I don't own!

Calculon: I was all of history's great robot actors - Acting Unit 0.8; Thespomat; David Duchovny!

The Cryonic Woman

Fry: Michelle, I don't regret this, but I both rue and lament it.

Dr. Zoidberg: For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored.

Season 3

Amazon Women in the Mood

Fry: Goodbye, friends. I never thought I'd die like this. But I always really, really hoped.

[Zapp has taken the controls of the orbiting restaurant.]
Zapp Brannigan: She's built like a steakhouse but she handles like a bistro.

Parasites Lost

Professor Farnsworth: Anyhoo, your net-suits will allow you to experience Fry's worm infested bowels as if you were actually wriggling through them.
Dr. Zoidberg: There's no part of that sentence I didn't like!

Fry: It's like a party in my mouth and everybody's throwing up!

A Tale of Two Santas

Bender: Isn't it true you that you have been paid for your testimony?
Pramala: Yes. You gave me a dollar and some candy.
Bender: And yet you haven't said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you?

Fry: I'm Santa Claus!
Hermes: No, I'm Santa Claus!
Amy: We're also Santa Claus!
Dr. Zoidberg: And I'm his friend Jesus.
Mayor: You guys aren't Santa! You're not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus?

The Luck of the Fryrish

Racetrack PA announcer: And the winner is number three, in a quantum finish.
Professor Farnsworth: No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!

Fry: Leela, Bender, we're going grave robbing.
Bender: I'll get my kit!

The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz

Free Waterfall Sr.: If rubbin' frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don't wanna be right.

Hyperchicken: Son, as your lawyer, I declare y'all are in a 12-piece bucket o' trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin' up that ol' mess you caused.
Bender: Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn't you just got me the death penalty?

Bendless Love

Bender: Sorry I'm not your lover boy Flexo, whom you love so much. You love any one even pretending to be him!
Angleyne: Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be.
Bender: Oh how I wish I could believe or understand that!

Bender: You call yourself divorced?! You're making a mockery of one of our most honored institutions!

The Day the Earth Stood Stupid

Big Brain: Foolish human race! Organizing your knowledge by category just made it easier to absorb. Dewey, you fool! Your decimal system has played right into my hands!

Morbo: Morbo can't understand his teleprompter because he forgot how you say that letter that's shaped like a man wearing a hat.
Linda: It's a 'T'. It goes 'tuh'.
Morbo: Hello, little man. I will destroy you!

That's Lobstertainment

Bender: Calculon is gonna kill us and it's all everybody else's fault!

Calculon: Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar.

The Cyber House Rules

Leela: What are their names?
Bender: Kids have names?
Orphan: My name is Nina, this is Albert-
Bender: -And from now on you're all named Bender Jr.

Orphan: Daddy Bender, we're hungry.
Bender: What's with you kids? Every other day it's food, food, food. [pause] Alright, I'll get you some stupid food.
Orphan: Can we have Bender Burgers again?
Bender: No. The cat shelter's on to me!

Where the Buggalo Roam

Amy: Wait! I'm too rich to be kidnapped!

Zapp Brannigan: How do we even know she's alive?
Amy Wong: I'm fine.
Zapp Brannigan: Shh! You're weakening our bargaining position!

Insane in the Mainframe

Fry: Fear not, for I shall assist ye!
Hermes: Robots don't say "ye"!
Fry: Relax, mammal! My robotic software shall meet your calculatory needs. What is the meaning of this symbol?
Hermes: That's a plus sign, you pointy-haired loony! Quit thinking you're a robot!
Fry: I'll show ye!

Leela: Fry! Stay back! He's too powerful!
Fry: Negative, bossy meat creature!

The Route of All Evil

Bender: I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself.

Dwight: Can I use the gun?
Hermes: What kind of a father would I be if I said no?

Bendin' in the Wind

Dr. Zoidberg: It's toe-tappingly tragic!

Hermes: Way to go, Bender. You got mutilated and now you're going to be a Folk singer. Both our dreams came true!

Time Keeps on Slippin'

Professor Farnsworth: Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball's in Farnsworth's court!
[Farnsworth presses a button, revealing an arsenal of doomsday weapons.]
Professor Farnsworth: I suppose I could part with one and still be feared…

Professor Farnsworth: By Tuesday it'll be Thursday. By Wednesday, it'll be August. And by Thursday, it'll be the end of the Universe!

I Dated a Robot

Professor Farnsworth: Oh dear! She's stuck in an infinite loop, and he's an idiot! Well, that's love for you.

Bender: Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I'm still single? It's 'cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans!
Leela: Bender, this is Fry's decision…and he made it wrong. So it's time for us to interfere in his life.

A Leela of Her Own

Bender: Hey, you add a one and two zeros to that or we walk!
Leela: How much did you make me?
Bender: One hundred dollars.

[Leela is signing autographs.]
Leela: Who am I making this out to?
Girl: Ummm…to eBay?
Leela: That's a popular name today. Little "e", big "B"?

A Pharaoh to Remember

High Priest: Great wall of prophecy, reveal to us God's will, that we may blindly obey!
Other Priests: Free us from thought and responsibility.
High Priest: We shall read things off you!
Other Priests: Then do them.
High Priest: Your words guide us!
Other Priests: We're dumb.

Leela: Bender, we're trying our best.
Bender: Your best is an idiot!

Anthology of Interest II

Fry: Leela, are you alright? You got wanged on the head.
Leela: I was having the most wonderful dream. Except you were there, and you were there, and you were there!

Leela: Why did you bring us here?
Dr. Zoidberg: And why did I have to take a cab?

Roswell That Ends Well

Professor Farnsworth: For example, if you killed your grandfather, you'd cease to exist!
Fry: But existing is basically all I do!

Fry: We're in the middle of nowhere, which is the safest part of nowhere.


Bender: You know, I was God once.
God: Yes, I saw. You were doing good, until everyone died.

God: Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you, and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch. Like a safecracker, or a pickpocket.
Bender: Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money!
God: Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

Future Stock

Hermes: We can't compete with Mom! Her company is big and evil! Ours is small and neutral!
That Guy: Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood!
Amy: Look, everyone wants to be like Germany, but do we really have the pure strength of will?

Bender: Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk!

The 30% Iron Chef

[Dr. Zoidberg has broken one of the professor's bottles.]
Dr. Zoidberg: Oh no! The professor will hit me! But if Zoidberg fixes the bottle... then perhaps gifts!

Bender: I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up; it also comes with double prize money.

Season 4

Kif Gets Knocked Up A Notch

Attila the Hun: Stop! Don't shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression!
Zapp Brannigan: Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun!

Fry: Check it out, y'all. Everyone who was invited is here.
Dr. Zoidberg: Also Zoidberg.

Leela's Homeworld

Fry: I didn't ask for a completely reasonable excuse! I asked you to get busy!

Leela: I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.
Fry: Yeah, I do that with my stupidness.

Love and Rocket

[Lrrr and Ndnd are watching Friends on TV.]
Lrrr: This is ancient Earth's most foolish program. Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five?
Ndnd: Perhaps they are saving that for sweeps.

Professor Farnsworth: With that big new Romanticorp contract, I've been able to make those government-mandated upgrades you've all been suing me about.

Less Than Hero

Leela: Man, I'm sore all over. I feel like I just went ten rounds with mighty Thor.
Fry: I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.

Fry: Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You'd think it would be something you'd have to freebase.

A Taste of Freedom

Nixon's Head: In our darkest hour, we can stand erect, with proud upthrust bosoms.
Fry: Anyone who laughs is a communist!

Fry: Hey, wait, I'm having one of those things... you know, a headache with pictures.
Leela: An idea?
Fry: Mmm! Mmm hmm!

Bender Should Not Be Allowed On TV

Calculon: I've seen better acting from extras in Godzilla movies.

Leela: Kids don't turn rotten just from watching TV.
Fry: Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools.

Jurassic Bark

Bender: Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious.

Fry: You can see how I lived before I met you.
Bender: You lived before you met me?!
Fry: Yeah, lots of people did.
Bender: Really?!

Crimes of the Hot

Scientist: I've got a degree in homeopathic medicine!
Civil Defense Van: You've got a degree in baloney!

Announcer: Thank you all for coming. It is my pleasure to introduce the host of the Kyoto Global Warming Conventions, the Inventor of the Environment, and first Emperor of the Moon, Al Gore!
Al Gore: I have ridden the mighty moon worm!
Fry: Good for him.
Al Gore: My fellow Earthicans, as I discuss in my book Earth in the Balance, and the much more popular Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth, we need to defend our planet against pollution. As well as dark wizards.
Dark Wizard: Sure, blame the wizards!

Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles

Professor Farnsworth: I've got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, I'm going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Now I have to pay them!

Professor Farnsworth: Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain.

The Why of Fry

Male Nibblonian: Does he not know?
Nibbler: He does not know.
Female Nibblonian: He knows not?
Nibbler: Knows not does he.
Nibblonian: Not he knows?
Male Nibblonian: Enough! Fry, it is my duty to inform you that the fate of humanity, the fate of our race, indeed the fate of all that exists and all that will exist rests with you. You are the single most important person in the universe.
Fry: Oh snap!

Fry: But I know you in the future. I cleaned your poop.
Nibbler: Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers.

Where No Fan Has Gone Before

Leonard Nimoy: Melllvar, you have to respect your actors. When I directed Star Trek IV, I got a magnificent performance out of Bill because I respected him so much.
William Shatner: And when I directed Star Trek V, I got a magnificent performance out of me because I respected me so much.

Walter Koenig: And when we woke up, we had these bodies.
Fry: Say it in Russian!
Walter Koenig: [sigh] Ven ve voke up, ve had zese wodies.
Fry: Wheee! Now say "nuclear wessels"!
Walter Koenig: No!

The Sting

Father Changstein: I barely knew Philip, but as a clergyman I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him.
Hermes: Soothe us with sweet lies.

Leela: Uh, were you guys singing?
Bender: No, I was telling you not to worry. I'm not allowed to sing. Court order.

Bend Her

Bender: Just once I'd like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn't bound and gagged.

Bender: Emotions are dumb and should be hated.

Obsoletely Fabulous

Bender: I'm sorry, guys. I never meant to hurt you. Just to destroy everything you ever believed in.

[The Planet Express crew is trapped under the ship, surrounded by a ring of burning fuel.]
Hermes: Bender, hurry! This fuel's expensive! [pause] Also, we're dying!

The Farnsworth Parabox

Professor Farnsworth: Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything.

Professor Farnsworth: Yes, it's the apocalypse all right. I always thought I'd have a hand in it.

Three Hundred Big Boys

Hermes: With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun!

[Morbo's wife is adjusting his tie.]
Morbo: Stop it, stop it. It's fine. I will destroy you!

Spanish Fry

Ndnd: For the last time, I don't like lilacs! Your first wife was the one who liked lilacs!
Lrrr: Yeah, she also liked to shut up!

Lrrr: One of these days, Ndnd. Bang! Zoom! Straight to the third moon of Omicron Persei 8!

The Devil's Hands are Idle Playthings

Robot Devil: This opera's as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!

Bender: You may have to "metaphorically" make a deal with the "devil." And by "devil," I mean Robot Devil. And by "metaphorically," I mean get your coat.


See also

External links

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