You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door. (famous first line)
It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a Grue.
The trap door crashes shut, and you hear someone barring it.
This is part of a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
Suddenly, the rainbow appears to become solid and, I venture, walkable (I think the giveaway was the stairs and bannister).
Thank you very much. I was rather thirsty (from all this talking, probably).
What the heck! You won't make any friends this way, but nobody around here is to friendly anyhow. Gulp!
If you pray enough, your prayers may be answered.
Very good. Now you can go to the second grade. [Or] Wheeeeeee!!!!! [Or] Do you expect me to applaud?